What do you call a Droid who has to go around a closed road?
The bird sanctuary got closed because of bird flu.
But I went in anyway, birds tend to fly.
Grandpa always said when one door closes, another one opens...
Great man, horrible cabinet maker.
During COVID I started a boat business from my house, but I had to close it down
Sails went through the roof
Looks like a close case, evidence is crystal clear.
I opened a children's zoo but it had to be closed down.
A surgeon is about to close an incision when the patient wakes up
The patient grabs the doctor's hand holding the needle and thread, and says, "Let me do it!"
The doctor says, "Suture self."
One day Canada will rule the world…
Then you’ll all be sorry.
Why did the gym close down?
Did you know that there are almost no full blood brits left in the world?
Most of them are just brit-ish
Did you know the leading cause of dry skin around the world?
What’s the difference between Mike Tyson’s next opponent and a castle closing its drawbridge?
One’s going to get their lights knocked out, the other is going to get their knights locked out.
I am so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!
On rainy days, my wife thinks it’s pathetic when I stare through the window.
It would be less pathetic if she just let me in.
A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.
They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. >
The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part.
They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, "we're just not gonna settle this. We don't see eye to eye. You're too old and out of touch and I'm too young and inexperienced. What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion."
The boomer says, "that's a great idea!" And yells, "HEY BARTENDER, C'MERE!"
I’m so sad - my local Indian restaurant closed because they said their bread making machine was broken…
They said it was a naan issue.
The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released.
To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
What do short-tempered beavers say when they see rivers flowing offensively close to them?
What is the fastest-growing city in the world?
The capital of Ireland ----- It`s Dublin every day.
Did you hear about the guy who broke the world record for fitting into the largest shoes?
Did you hear about the guy who had to close his butcher shop on Mt. Everest?
The steaks were too high.
There are 3 types of people in this world
Those that are good at math, and those that aren't
Went to Disney World due to my daughter's obsession with Mickey Mouse
She was so excited when I got home and told her about it
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married
Know about the quarry that closed down?
I heard it hit rock bottom.
A Local Funeral Home had to Close here.
Who names the Covid variants?
There's been a huge increase lately in mass bee sting attacks across the world
Yeah, it's the beginning of global swarming
Nearly a year ago I wrote an open letter to this subreddit. Now I feel like I need to close the loop here.
How do flat earthers travel the world?
I can't wait until the entire world becomes vegan...
We will finally have whirled peas.
ICBMS are targeted for locations all over the world.
What's the most positive country in the World?
How does a Muslim close a door?
What did the stamp say to the letter?
Stick with me and you'll go places.
What do you call uniting the world with alliances?
Putting it together peace by peace.
I was very disappointed to find that the movie “Dunkirk” was a World War II movie…
And not the biography of William Shatner
My friends and I were at Disney world and wanted to eat somewhere, and one of them suggested Star Wars
But that was in a Galaxy Far Far Away
I remember I was working late nights in the lab and drinking a lot of water to keep myself hydrated … unfortunately they had closed the washrooms for maintenance for a while ...
From then on I tried effortlessly to refute the lab leak theory ….
My high school teachers always made me feel so bad. They kept saying how I was THIS close to flunking.
I found the entire experience D grading. I just couldn’t C my way out of it. Even one failed test would have become a B in my bonnet. A plus from my high school experience was that I was allowed to take all my classes pass/fail, so I still walked away with me degree.
Imagine if a cow saved the world.
That would be legendairy.
I have a dream that the world’s ocean will turn into soda.
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision?
Do you know the leading cause of dry skin around the world?
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