I went to the bank and asked the teller to check my balance.

She shoved me pretty hard but I didn't fall down.

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👤︎ u/Imholt11
📅︎ Nov 20 2020
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An old lady walked into the bank and asked me if I could help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

👍︎ 20
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📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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When I was training to be a teller, an old woman came in and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

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📅︎ Dec 20 2019
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I saw a woman who said to check her balance, I paused and wondered why she asked that but I checked her balance with a push and she tumbled to the ground. I shruged, got my bank statement and left the bank.
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👤︎ u/datboiJR
📅︎ Aug 10 2019
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Our system of government is based on a system of checks and balances.

The key to making it work well is for people to not write checks that exceed their balances.

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👤︎ u/aiaor
📅︎ Nov 03 2018
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An old lady walks into her bank and asks the teller "Hey sonny, can you check my balance?"

So he pushed her over..

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📅︎ Aug 07 2015
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The tour guide says...

...Thank you for visiting the two-wheeled, self-balancing personal transporter museum today; I hope you had a good time. Speaking of good times, check out the food court and gift shop before you leave.

Me: That's a Segway

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/dlveazie
📅︎ Aug 02 2019
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Me Dad got me with this one at dinner...

I was visiting my folks, and decided to take em out to dinner when Ma got home. We go for a feed, all is well. I'm standing up at the end of the table, leaning on its edge with me phone out as Ma was organising herself. Da came back from the loo, and asked me what I was doing on me phone.

"Checking me balance." I replied, showing him my bank app. I had just been paid and was moving money around to savings and such, after paying for dinner by phone NFC.

Without warning he gives me a good hip n shoulder, not hard enough to send me flying but enough to shift me a bit.

"Ya balance looks shit, boy."

He smirks at me as Ma groans audibly. Cheeky old bugger.

This is why he's going in a crooked retirement home you always see on the News.

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📅︎ May 17 2019
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I got fired from the bank today... and don't even know why. =/

This granny comes to me and say: "Son, can you check my balance?"

I said: "Sure."

And pushed her over.

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👤︎ u/Capetoider
📅︎ Jun 20 2018
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Talking to a conductor at the train station

Background: Where I live, we have these little plastic cards instead of tickets to get on trains. You load it up with money electronically and then "touch on" at the train station and "touch off" when you get off at your destination. The other day I touched on at the station. Shortly after arriving, the meeting I had been going to got postponed. So I touched off. I wanted to make sure that I hadn't been charged for sitting in the station for five minutes so I went up to the ticketing booth.

Me: Is there anyway for me to check the balance of this online or something?

Conductor: Oh, no need. I can do that for you!

He takes the card, places it on the end of his finger, and holds it up to his eyes.

Conductor: Yep, perfectly balanced!

I think he was surprised by how funny I found this.

👍︎ 372
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📅︎ Oct 10 2013
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Bank Joke

I work in a retail bank and a customer walked into the office and said: Teller asks customer if he'd like her to check his balance. He says yes. So she pushes him over.

ba dum chiss

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📅︎ Nov 14 2014
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My dad just posted this to fb.

Not saying the service in my bank is bad, but I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance and she leaned over and pushed me.

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👤︎ u/Jewcipher
📅︎ Dec 18 2013
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Bank

Girlfriend and I went into the bank to deposit some money

Me: because banks hold a lot of money, when you check your balance with the teller, do they become fortune tellers?

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📅︎ Mar 15 2016
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Got my job trainer while learning the ropes.

Recently hired into a job where part of my duties will involve managing finances for individuals with intellectual disabilities. Trainer started going over all the ethical hoops we have to jump to.

"Man, they've got all sorts of checks and balances."

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👤︎ u/Falkynbird
📅︎ Feb 23 2015
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A man walked into the bank and asked the teller to check his balance.

So she pushed him.

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Feb 09 2020
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I was at the bank the other day and this old lady told me to check her balance...

So I pushed her.

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📅︎ Oct 13 2019
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I was at an ATM and an old lady asked if I could help check her balance..

So I pushed her over

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📅︎ Jul 27 2019
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I lost my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over
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👤︎ u/Alex_Hurt
📅︎ Dec 30 2018
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I was using the ATM when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance

So I pushed her over

👍︎ 58
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👤︎ u/CCplusplus
📅︎ Nov 30 2018
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Today at the bank, and old lady asked me to help her check her balance....

So I pushed her over...

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Jan 01 2019
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I lost my job at the bank...

A customer came in and asked me to check their balance... So, I pushed them.

👍︎ 41
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📅︎ Jan 31 2020
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I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/GoSparky14
📅︎ Mar 30 2019
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I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

👍︎ 176
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📅︎ Jun 16 2019
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I got fired at my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance... So I pushed her over.

👍︎ 50
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📅︎ Sep 20 2019
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Check your balance

I was in a bank and an old lady asked me to check her balance

I pushed her over

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👤︎ u/Awesome84
📅︎ Jun 25 2019
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I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

👍︎ 99
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👤︎ u/Rocknocker
📅︎ Jul 11 2018
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