Sister channelled some dad humor yesterday.
My sister is getting her wisdom teeth out today, and so last night I was trying to encourage her to not worry. As anyone else who has gotten wisdom teeth out likely knows, it's tough to eat solid food for a few days, so to make her feel better:
Me: Look on the bright side! You get to lose a few pounds!
Her: You're right! These teeth weigh 2 or 3 pounds each!
Thanks Jackie.
What channel do mechanics watch?
Hallmark just announced the stationary channel.
My parents watched as I swam across the channel.
"Get your paddling pool away from the TV," yelled my dad.
My wife is elated about all her new subscribers to her private dessert channel
Sign up for her OnlyFlans today
My 5 year old just channeled some Dad juju: she asked me “why did the worker bee stay in the hive?”
Because she had nowhere else to bee.
I'm starting a new YouTube nature themed channel about various molds and fungi and would love this group's support!
So there's a new YouTube channel for Werewolves...
It's called "Lycan Subscribe"
My wife came home from work and tried to change the channel
I told her to stop, I work remote
When I was at the zoo today, I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures so I asked the keeper, “How did that toast get into the cage?” She replied...
“It was bread in captivity."
Hey dad where’s the remote?
It’s in a remote location.
None of the sound settings can be changed on my TV.
My dad was watching the weather channel in one room and my mom was in the other. The weatherman was a Russian named Rudolph. My dad yelled to my mom, "Hey honey I think it's gonna rain tomorrow!" To which she replied "How do you know?"
He said, "I'm watching the weather channel and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear"
I love watching the history channel.
It's my favourite pasttime.
If you want to change the world, do it while you're single.
Once you are married, you can't even change the t.v. channel.
To commemorate the opening of the Channel Tunnel, two boats were raced from France and England respectively.
Tunnel boring is kind of ... well, boring ... so the Eurotunnel publicity people thought it would be neat to show something on the surface when the tunnel opened. Because of the way the dual channel 'Chunnel' was excavated, with the tunnels meeting each other half-way, it was decided that two twin-hull ships should cross each other over the channel waters (one starting from Dover called "One Two Three - Go!" and once starting from Calais called "Un Duex Trois - Alles!").
The idea was for them to pass each other and set off confetti and so on for publicity reasons. Unfortunately the weather on the channel was so inclement to the catamarans that the Un Deux Trois cat' sank.
Two cats, one french one english had a race across the channel.
The english cat, known by her owners as 123 won. Because the french cat, known by his owners as an du twa, cat sank.
I once had a dream that I discovered a new color…
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
What TV channel do young cucumbers watch?
When you're in a relationship, you don't need a secure channel to talk to your partner.
Communication is already encrypted.
I was feeling a bit lonely so I bought some stock
Now I have a bit of company.
I’m not anti-mask
I just thought Ace Ventura was better.
The Discovery Channel is starting a new reality show in a bodybuilder gym where they take away their protein supplements...
...There's No Whey I'm missing that one.
We were frustrated because we had too many electronics - so my wife bought a universal remote.
I said, “This changes everything!”
What do you call a potato with a YouTube channel?
My dermatologist who lives in the small community across the river, has for a long time been happily sharing driving and riding the underwater channel to work with other downtown professionals.
Recently, however due to other driver irresponsibility, he has suffered a car pool tunnel syndrome.
Youtube channel
If there is a YouTube channel teaching chemistry....
....will it be okay to call it a reaction channel?
A wolf started a YouTube channel, at the end of every video he says …
“Make sure to Lycan subscribe”
Did you know there is an Oragami channel on DirecTv?
It’s really cool. Only problem is it’s paper view.
I just got employed as a Television Operator. It's a fully remote job
History of Some Kind
The first attempt to build the Channel Tunnel was started in France in the 1890s. It would have been the longest steam train tunnel in the world, but they stopped when they realised they'd Britain off more than they could choo.
The official name for them is “Dad Bods”...
But they should be called “Father Figures”!
On the way to work, I saw the Channel 13 news truck getting towed.
I guess they really wanted that breaking news.
The other day I brought myself a universal remote and thought to myself well this changes everything.
Just finished reading a book on Channel swimming.
It was written by Francis Near.
I’m watching a play about explosives….
And I have to say, it is seriously bombing!
My programmer husband insists he has to be the one to change the channel
He has a lot experience working remote
They actually made a KFC movie on the Hallmark channel
It’s suppose to be a romance but don’t be surprised if there’s some Fowl play.
If Smellevision existed, what channel would you smell wrestling?
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
The ESPN Network should have a channel for drama and theatre
Showtime has far too many commercials on their channel.
It’s just Shameless plug after Shameless plug.
My friend has a YouTube channel about werewolves, so if you're a fan,
I do a lot of remote work.
The channel isn't going to change itself.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
