meow
My dad said, "Hi Ow, I'm dad."
- Allow => A-meow
- Apology => A-paw-logy
- Appalling => A-paw-ling
- Attitude => Cat-titude
- Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
- Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
- Because => Be-claws
- Before => Be-fur
- Bother => Bo-fur
- Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
- Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
- Catch => Cat-ch
- Clever => Claw-ver
- Confusing => Con-fur-sing
- Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
- Different => Dif-fur-rent
- Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
- Familiar => Fur-miliar
- Feeling => Feline
- For => Fur
- For real => Fur real
- Forever => Fur-ever
- Forget => Fur-get
- Fortunate => Fur-tunate
- Forward => Fur-ward
- Friend => Fur-end
- Furious => Fur-ious
- Further => Fur-ther
- Get or Got => Cat
- Help me out => Help meow-t
- History => Hiss-tory
- Hysterical => Hiss-terical
- Inferior => In-fur-ior
- Kidding me => Kitten me
- Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
- Literally => Litter-ally
- Literature => Litter-a-ture
- Lost => Claw-st
- Lying => Lion
- Magnificent => Meow-nificent
- Marvellous => Meow-velous
- Minimum => Mew-nimum
- Misery => Mew-sery
- Moment => Mew-ment
- Mountain => Meow-ntain
- Move => Mew-v
- Music => Mew-sic
- Musician => Meow-sician
- Never => Nev-fur
- New => Mew
- Now => Meow
- Over => Ov-fur
- Paper => Pay-purr
- Pardon me => Paw-don me
- Pause => Paws
- Perfect => Purr-fect
- Perhaps => Purr-haps
- Permission => Purr-mission
- Person => Purr-son
- Personal => Purr-sonal
- Persuasion => Purr-suasion
- Places => Purr-laces
- Please => Paw-lease
- Portable => Paw-table
- Positive => Paw-sitive
- Possibility => Paw-sibility
- Possibly => Paw-sibly
- Precious => Purr-ecious
- Prefer => Paw-fer
- Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
- Pretty => Purr-ty
- Priceless => Purr-iceless
- Prince => Purr-ince
- Princess => Purr-incess
- Puns => Purr-ns
- Purpose => Purr-pose
- Referring => Re-fur-ing
- Respond => Res-paw-nd
- Simple => Sim-paw-le
- Suffer => Suf-fur
- Superior => Su-purr-ior
- Tale => Tail
- Talent => Tail-ent
- Tell => Tail
- That’s all => Cat’s all
- Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
- Very => Furry
- Whenever => Whene-fur
- Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
- You => Mew
- Apologize => A-paw-logize
- First => Furr-st
- How are you? => Meow are mew?
- Morning => Meowrning
- Phon
My cat kneads me!
I can transform into a cat Don't ask meow!!
Meow meow meow, we are becoming cats 🐈
I need some good cat puns right meow, entertain me
Me: Starts randomly meowing in bed
Wife comes in and looks at me as much as to say WTF?
Me: I was cat calling you; and it worked!
Wife sighs and looks defeated
Me: Laughs hysterically
The vet says, “What seems to be the problem?”
The cat says, “Meow.”
The vet says, “Okay, where?”
I told him I just wasn't feline it.
I was working on a project, when I hear my girlfriend behind me, saying, "Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!"
I turn around, and she's standing there, smiling, holding our cat. She repeats the noise, directing the cat to face me. She says, "He's a ... CAT-ling gun!"
The cat looks at the man and says "Meow". The man looks at the cat and says "I know, that's why we're here".
A hitman dog walks up to a cat. The dog says to the cat. Meows your time.
Traveling in the car with the family, my daughter points out a billboard with a cat sporting a mustache.
Me: "You mean a meow-stache?" (ok, lame, but still...)
[whole family groans]
My son: "They should have used a cow. Then it would have been a moo-stache."
[and a proud little tear fell from my eye...]
All I could think was, "You've cat to be kitten me right meow." I'm torn on how I feel about her... I wish I could retract what she did but there's no point getting clawed up in the negative emotions.
How my dad used to wake us up. I can't wait to torture my kids this way.
Dad: wake up, its time for school!
Me: 5 more minutes.
Dad: oh you want a cat nap? Say 'meow'
Me: nooooo ughhh
Dad: I'm not Noah? But didn't he build an ark?
Me: dad go away!
Dad: but I already know what I weigh.
Me: dad pleaaase
Dad: police? Where?!
Me: dad leave me alone!
Dad: a loan? Okay how much do you need?
Me: dad stop!
Dad: just say meow.
Me: meow
My youngest daughter had a developmental disability as a toddler. As a result, she was very withdrawn and functionally mute until the age of four. I made up a joke and taught it to her in an attempt to get her to open up a little. It worked.
Me: What does the dog say?
Her: Woof!
Me: What does the cat say?
Her: Meow!
Me: What does the cow say?
Her: Eat More Chikin!
Thanks, Chik-Fil-A, for helping to bring my baby girl out of her shell.
I think he was called meow tse-tung. This cat joke is purrfect.
Dad: Do you know why your cat is meowing?
Me: Because he wants you to open the door, so he can get in.
Dad: No, because he is a cat.
We were sitting down to dinner and one of our cats was meowing for attention. He said: "C'mon butterscotch, you gotta be kitten me".
I was so proud of meow boy.
We were watching the newest Hunger Games movie a couple of weekends ago. Throughout the film she was (very quietly) whispering interesting things that were in the books but not the film.
Mild Spoilers
There is a certain part where a character goes back for a cat.
End Mild Spoilers
She leans over and I think she was going to tell me another interesting things about the scene. She whispered a little louder than the other times, "You've gotta be kitten me right meow!"
You could hear the slight chuckle from the people in front of us and I had to stifle my laughter. I probably shouldn't find it that funny, but I love good timing and a corny joke.
The doctor says, "Okay, well have a seat." He then walks out of the room for a moment and comes back with a Labrador Retriever. The dog sniffs him a bit, then the doctor walks him back out of the room with his tail wagging. A couple minutes pass, and the doctor comes back with a cat. He rubs the cat all over the man until it meows, then takes it back out of the room. The doctor then returns and says, "Well, you seem fine to me. That'll be $1000." The man, flabbergasted, yells, "$1000?! There wasn't even anything wrong with me!" The doctor replies, "Well it rounds out to that between the lab work and the cat scan..."
As out cat sad meowing at out dinner table my wife looked at me and said "I hate when she does that its like my biggest pet, peeve" the she started giggling. It makes me proud to know she's ready for our baby to be here in a few weeks.
Hear a squeak
Me: Did the cat just meow?
Roommate: I think it was a dog.
Me: One of the dogs meowed?!
A man walks up to his cat.
The man says, "meow."
The cat says, "where?"
