What do you call a square that got into a car accident?

A rect-angle

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Echo_The_God
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard that Tiger Wood's car accident was caused by a problem with his tires...

He had a hole in one.

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shrewlord
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the church song leader so happy when a member of her congregation was killed in a car accident?

The deceased was an organ donor.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stupidlyugly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve never been in a car accident

I’m a wreckless driver.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFrankPork
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Tiger Woods was in a car accident this morning...

I heard he hit a birdie.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FroshPresident
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My car was twitching after a recent accident.

It was a nervous wreck.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Black Betty had a car accident

Bambulance

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."

I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the proctologist who had a car accident?

Rectum.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rjm1775
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the authorities do when Barbie's boyfriend was involved in a serious car accident?

They contacted his next of Ken.

That's a damn good joke. I'm proud of that joke.

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the guy in that horrible car accident? Lost his left leg and left arm

Don’t worry, he’s all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King-Calovich11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I broke my back in a car accident and I'm looking for a pun for my grad cap

So yeah I got into a car accident during college and I wanted to commemorate that on my grad cap. My mom won't let me put my mri, "you should put something positive on your cap, not something negative" so yeah a back pun is the next best thing I could think of putting on there.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/summosa
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Just witnessed a tragic car accident where a man lost his entire left side...

He’s all right now

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dr_se7en_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
It was no fun when I sprained my neck in a car accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I got in a car accident with a snow man and wanted to warn oncoming traffic

So I put out some snow cones.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.

'Stuff was completely one-sided

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unspecified_bagel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I got into a car accident with a little person.

He got out and said, "I'm not happy!"

So I asked, "Well, which one are you, then?"

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConditionYellow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The weatherman for our local TV channel broke both his arms and his legs in a car accident.

He is calling in from the hospital with his four casts.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Two of my friends got into car accidents this week

Quarantine is driving people crazy

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/H3nley
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just seen a traffic accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine.

I was going to call for an ambulance, but that might've been asking for trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
When I woke up from a car accident in a full body cast my wife was right there at my side

To let me know that childbirth is still more painful.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NHl20-Fan
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Guy got his luxury car t-boned in an accident

Suppose he saw how the Mercedes-Benz

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
It doesn't matter if you get in car accidents often, or if you have never had one.

Either way you appear reckless

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/erokitel128
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tropical cocktail that gets into a car accident?

Pina Collide-a

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lol_camis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My brother gets in car accidents all the time, but today he turned over a new Leaf
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thrawnis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when u have an accident with a rental car?

It Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur that was in a car accident?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArbitraryAlex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend lost his legs in a car accident.

He can’t stand when people ask him about it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in a car accident and my guitar got ruined in it.

I was a Fender bender.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattFA2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Things were not looking well for the elk and the bat that were in hospital after a car accident

They were hanging on to deer life

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaledonianWarrior
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I read most car accidents happen within 5 miles of your own home.

So I moved.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Statistics say you are most likely to get in a car accident within 1.5 km of your house.

I'm moving!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NormanBurgundy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the millionaire learn when he got in a car accident?

He learned how his Mercedes Benz

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chicken-littler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I got in a car accident last week and things have just been really tough. They can’t find any parts for it because the manufacturer went out of business a few years ago and not having a vehicle is really putting a strain on my work and family. It’s just a lot to handle.

Sorry for the Saab story.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tx_Deception_Tx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that every member of Ace of Base died in a horrible car accident?

They didn’t see the sign.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buckpizza
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Car accidents

What do you call a Japanese car that gets in to an accident?
A Honda Accordion

Did you hear about the car accident in Sweden?
It was a real Saab story.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Italian father who just got into a car accident?

Al Dente’

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deadrawkstar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BwanaPC
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rectangle that got into a car accident?

A wrecked-angle.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devdevo1919
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kid who lost his entire left side in a car accident?

He's all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shape that gets into a car accident?

A rectangle.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jason_Boyd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I got into a car accident with a little person.

He got out and said "I'm not happy"

I said "Well which one are you then ?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I just got into a car accident!

The other driver got out of his car, and turns out he was a dwarf. He ran up to me and exclaimed "I'm not happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one are you then?"

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the-howl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in an accident the other day, rear-ended the car in front. We both pulled over, and a dwarf got out of the other car.

He said, "I'm not happy." I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend lost his legs in a car accident

He can’t stand when anyone asks him about it

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/memer69lolnice
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in a car accident?

He all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/meltedpickless
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.