Edit: At this point we know that Jupiter, Juno, and Minerva in Greco-Roman mythology are respectively Suttungr, Gunlodr, and Hyrrokin in Norse mythology. We also know that they are the Father, the Mother, and the Voice which actual names we discover in Layla's computer. There is a file that says that the current Father is Yaldabaoth, the current Mother is Saklas, and the current Voice is Samael. It's been brought to my attention that Yaldabaoth, Saklas, and Samael are actually different Isu because they existed way before Juno.

My very superficial wikipedia research lead me to Demiurge and Gnosticism, but I don't have enough brain cells to make sense of anything. It seems that they are names of demons (or at least some sort of antagonists in Judeo-Christian mythology) that create things, but I'm not sure I get it lol. Now I am not familiar at all with Judeo-Christian mythology so hopefully I am not sounding dumb, but can anyone make sense of this? Like what does this mean for the lore or future ACs?

Edit: My guess then is that Judeo-Christian Mythology is a misconstruction of what happened around the human rebellion onward, while the Greco-Roman and Norse mythology is a misconstruction of what happened sometime before the Solar Flare. This implies that Yaldabaoth, Saklas, Samael, Juno, Minerva, and Jupiter are all from the same Isu group (Jotun). The following detail could be a coincidence but this would explain why both Basim and Ibrahamic religions come from the Middle East. Loki is half Jotun and was reincarnated in the Middle East as opposed to the Asgardian Isu that reincarnated in Norway.

It’s always seemed slightly unusual to me that the Romans chose two female gods and one male to be their most important gods given they lived in such a male dominated society. I understand that this may have been influenced by a similar structure in the Etruscan pantheon, but why did the Romans/Etruscans elevate Minerva to be equal with Jupiter and Juno, as opposed to any other members of their pantheon? Why did they see her as any more important than any of Jupiter’s other children/family?

Also - a slightly different question but on the same topic, but why did the Romans include Vesta/Hestia in their Dii Consenata as opposed to Dionysus/Bacchus in the Greek Olympiad?

While it’s not out yet, Valhalla’s DLC Dawn of Ragnarok appears to be retconning the base game based on what we know from the trailers and a few datamines. Please be warned that there are major spoilers for the main game ahead.

For those unaware, the Mythical Arcs shown in Valhalla aren’t just dreams but are the memories of Odin reborn into Eivor but tinted by Eivor’s religious ideas. These events, however, actually occurred about 75,000 years prior with Isu, and other than a few words like “wolf”, appear to be almost 1 for 1 of how things happened based on the animus anomalies being the real version of the Asgard/ Jotunheim’s ending cutscene.

Throughout the anomalies you can hear voices speaking, being those of Loki and his mistress Alethia. You can read all of the messages here. As a refresher, the Isu know the world is going to end a couple of years in advance, this being “Ragnarok”. The Capitoline Triad of Juno, Minerva, and Jupiter attempted to create 6 solutions to save the world from a solar flare, each failing, leading Juno to create the 7th solution to save her Husband, Aita, by making him reincarnate into a human body. For this experiment, she was cast out of the triad but would come to aid Odin in obtaining the 7th solution so he and 8 other aesir could reincarnate. This is the main plot we see playing out in Valhalla’s mythical arcs, with a secondary plot about Loki, a potential captive of the “Aesir” Isu from Jotunheim following a war who smuggled his son Fenrir into Asgard. Odin has Fenrir locked away which enrages Loki into attacking Odin and fleeing, and Odin ends the scenario by completely locking up Fenrir using a special rope made by the dwarves. From the animus anomalies we hear Loki discussing this with Alethia shortly after it happens:

>Loki: Curse that Mad One, that one-eyed wretch! He has taken our son! Imprisoned him for invented crimes and locked him away!
>
>Alethia: As he said he would, love. Do you not remember his threats? You should have been more careful.
>
>Loki: Have we no power to stop him? To save our son? No recourse?
>
>Alethia: What can we say? And to whom? Must the world know about our children? Must your wife learn of us? Is that a risk you want to take?
>
>Loki: I must do something! Anything!

What we see from Loki in game is that he’s brash and acts quickly without always thinking things throu

With all of Valhalla’s additions to the lore there’s a simple assumption to be made. First came the Greco-Roman pantheon, Minerva, Jupiter, Juno, then Hades, Poseidon, etc, worshipped around the Mediterranean. Now we also have the Aesir, Odin and co, revered in Scandinavia and Northern Europe. It would be obvious (and easy, given that it reflects our current society) to assume that they originally lived in the locations where they are most remembered, and that the enmities we see between the groups are geographic, nationalistic.

I have a different theory, and it seems especially viable to me because we already know that the Capitoline Triad operated all over the world. They had the Olympos Project in Atlantis, the Great Vault in North America, and built >!Yggdrasil in Scandinavia!<, not to mention the other locations shown across the world on maps and in other media.

What if the antagonism we see between the factions isn’t geographic but caste-based. In such a technology-centric society as the Isu, scientists might well have become formalized over time into the ruling class, in which case the more physical disciplines might be less well regarded, and those of a military inclination traditionally resent being looked down on by the thinkers of the world.

And haven’t we recently met a group of Isu with a more warrior-like ethos and an ingrained distrust of the nerd-caste? Not to mention that even further down the social ladder we find the technicians (dwarves) who actually build the machines that the rest of the society use, which is both a physical discipline that earns the disdain of the big brains, and a mental one that the warriors will never respect.

So we have a scientific ruling class, the military as resentful second class citizens, technicians and fabricators below that, and finally the slave race, humanity.

Which brings me to the second, more specific part of this theory.

Assuming the caste idea is correct, then >!Loki!< was a scion of a scientific family who abandoned his noble heritage to join the military, a disgrace to everyone around him. Then, adding insult to injury, he snuck back and began an ongoing affair with one of their most respected daughters, >!the woman designated by the king of Atlantis to be his adjudicator and voice in the city’s daily dealings.!<

The prophecy we hear of Odin’s death never specifically mentions >!Loki’s son!<, it says he will be killed by a wolf, by an enemy of an entirely d

SPOILERS FOR ODYSSEY'S ENDGAME, FOA DLC, AND VALHALLA

I'm attempting to weld together the plotlines of the Fate of Atlantis DLC and the endgame of Valhalla out of sheer spite - in a way that DOESN’T necessitate a rehash of the >!Juno and The Sages!< plotline, makes the illogical characterizations in FoA make sense, and is internally consistent with the narratives of both Odyssey and Valhalla.

For the past three games or so [or longer, really, if we're honest with ourselves] the Modern Day plotline has been balancing on a knife's edge of narrative coherency and utter nonsense, largely due to the different studios' habit of playing what I like to call Perpetual Lore Uno.™

["Ahah, I have a reverse card, now EVERYTHING you just set up no longer matters!" "oh yeah? draw four. mythical creatures are now real and being a hybrid with a half-functioning PoE makes you a demigod with magical powers. fuck you." "oh YEAH??? BOOM. new type of reincarnation just dropped. also the plot is now told like an incomprehensible indie art film." etc. You get the point.]

Odyssey, in particular, had it the worst, as though the teams couldn't decide whether they wanted to make Layla the next "ooooo special CHOSEN ONE!!!!" Desmond expy, or the next utterly batshit villain protagonist, flopping from one to the other at random in the base game and dlc.

And Valhalla - while arguably doing an admirable job at attempting to salvage the inanity of the additions to the lore - also inadvertently managed to make Odyssey's MD plot even more confusing in hindsight.

Granted, it didn’t make much sense to begin with in the context of Odyssey when it dropped - but it DEFINITELY does not make any more sense now with Valhalla's additions.

In reality, this is because the pieces don’t fit simply because they weren’t meant to, and were not designed with the future in mind, but we can still attempt to give them a satisfactory justification in-universe despite that. Though it… might take some work.

THE PROBLEM

Remember that bit at the end of the second part of the Fate of Atlantis DLC where Layla flips her shit and Aletheia is just like [record scratch] "hang on. you KILLED SOMEONE???? Senseless power-hungry murder and loss of rational thought??? in MY Heir of Memories???? you're not the REAL Heir, Layla. no way i'm showing you MY personal memories of my time as Dikastes. get out."

]Yes? Good. No? Here.]

That was *

> "The Isu are an ancient and highly-advanced species of humanoid beings who were active on Earth during the eponymous era several millennia before the rise of even the most ancient human civilizations. The Isu are responsible for the creation of the Pieces of Eden, powerful artifacts and weapons that augmented their already superhuman abilities, as well as forming the human race itself.

> "Their history shrouded in mystery, the Isu ruled over Earth roughly 77,000 years ago, before they were largely wiped out, alongside their human creations, during the Great Catastrophe. By that point, the Isu had been in a decade long war with a human rebellion led by two hybrids, Adam and Eve, who sought to free humanity from servitude to their 'gods'.

> "Following the Great Catastrophe, the Isu population rapidly declined to the point of near extinction within the century, but their legacy would live on for thousands of years through myth and legend, becoming the focal point of many human religions, whether polytheistic or monotheistic.

> "Due to their long and storied history, and the legacy that their existence left, the Isu, as a species, were known by various names to humanity. Classified Homo sapiens divinus by Abstergo Industries, they were also interchangeably referred to as Those Who Came Before, the First Civilization, or the Precursors. Smenkhkare, the founder of the Order of the Ancients called the Isu the Ancient Ones hence the namesake of the organization. The Northern European branch of the Order compared the Isu to the Archons in Gnostic religion or Nephilim from the Biblical mythos. Beyond this, certain groups of Isu, such as the Capitoline Triad, the Æsir, the Vanir, the Jötnar, and the Isu Authority in Eden, were believed by most human religions to be a part of a pantheon of gods."

These paragraphs are taken from https://assassinscreed.fandom.com/wiki/Isu . I wanted to open a discussion about the origin of religions, whether or not something similar to the fantasy of the Assassin's Creed universe is plausible, and an exploration of a hypothetical world in which religions originated in this manner.

To sum up the idea, most religions originate with a pre-human species that possessed technology and abilities that caused early humans to create myths and legends that developed into the religions that we see today.

At Camp Half-Blood, the existence of Thalia, Percy, Nico, and Bianca as children of Zeus/Poseidon/Hades is treated as a very big deal. In Son of Neptune, the Romans are just like okay then when Percy shows up and Hazel and Nico being children of Hades/Pluto is kinda just taken as normal. However, the big three aren't shown as having any other kids at Camp Jupiter.

In Roman Mythology the main triad of gods is usually given as either Jupiter+Mars+Quirinus/Janus (Archaic Triad) or Jupiter+Juno+Minerva (Capitoline Triad). Mars and Janus both have multiple children at Camp Jupiter (Frank and Julius [Camp Jupiter Classified] are both sons of Mars, and Michael Varus and Janice [CJC] are both children of Janus). However, Juno and Minerva don't have children at Camp Jupiter, and the only known child of Jupiter is Jason (who is treated as a big deal), so could Jupiter, Juno, and Minerva have taken the oath on the Roman side?

Just started playing Valhalla. Could not roll my eyes farther back into my head when I came across my first flail.

The historicity of ball-and-chain flails are dubious at best. Little evidence exists to suggest they were historically used as a weapon at all, and no evidence exists to suggest they were used on a wide basis. This goes for every culture and civilization across history.

Beyond that, a simple mace would be cheaper and easier to make, and would have more striking power anyway.

And if that wasn't bad enough. The flails in this game are the worst type of flail. A "proper" flail should have the length of its ball and chain be shorter than the length of the handle, so the ball can't smack you in the hand. The flails here have chains at least twice as long as their handles. So not only will it smack you in the hand, but it can smash you in any other part of your body too.

I could overlook this if not for the fact that they left out the most widely used type of weapon in this time and place (except maybe spears): one handed swords. Especially with the one-handed seax being a unique and iconic weapon of this era used by Saxons.

I know one-handed swords are coming in an update, but this is just shameful.

As of the Asgard and Midgard arcs on AC Valhalla, we came to know the Isu were not as monolithic as we thought. They did have different cultures and authorities. So much so that they were at war against fellow Precursor nations.

Our familiar greco roman First Civ was rendered as from Jotunheim, we also saw the new asgardian nation some dwarves likely from Svartalfheim/Nidavelir.

My theory is that the nine worlds from the norse mythology match with nine Isu cultures or nations. The worlds are:

1. Alfheim - land of the light elves
2. Asgard - land of the aesir
3. Vanaheim - land of the vanir
4. Jotunheim - land of the giants
5. Midgard - land of the humans
6. Mispelheim - land of the primordial heat
7. Niflheim - land of the primordial cold
8. Svartalfheim - land of the dark elves / dwarves
9. Helheim - land of the damned

On AC Odyssey Layla noted the gateway to the lost city (where Pythagoras dwelled and the Olympus Proyect POE were stored) looked starkly different to the egytian Isu sites. She said "This is different from Egypt. Some aesthetic elements in common but... Hmm." Thus, the Isu that dwelled on what is now Egypt belonged to a different nation than the atlanteans.

Also, while the simulations of Elysium, Hades and Atlantis were fictional, the Sister Realms did exist, but they were also embellished by human mythology.

Hades most likely was a volcanic mining colony located in what now is southern Italy. We could see at least two active volcanos, and those humans sent or born there were worked to death. Being in Hades was extremely unlucky and associated with death, so it became in the minds of humans as the land of the dead, and in our nine world analogy, Helheim.

Elysium was Hades´s neighbour (as there was an Elysium breach in Hades). Most likely Elysium was the residential area and retreat to the wealthy who profited from the mines nearby. The human slaves who served the Isu there were seen as most lucky and blessed, even when they were still tools. Elysium had a close relationship with nature, beauty, fertile land and waters, and in our nine realms worldview, Vanaheim.

Atlantis was a monumental city closely linked with Poseidon and the sea. In this allegory, I must pair Atlantis with Niflheim. The latter is associated with cold, mist, waters and glaciers. At least Atlanti

I’m a little confused about the whole Minerva subplot in HoO. As I recall, the Romans in HoO didn’t honor Minerva greatly, and I don’t believe she even had a temple at Camp Jupiter. However, Minerva was part of the Capitoline Triad, and therefore arguably one of the three most important deities in Rome. How does her not being honored at Camp Jupiter make sense in HoO?

Moreover, from what I can tell, Minerva was associated with war in Ancient Rome. There was a time, perhaps, before she was, but as far as I can tell from my brief research, once Rome conquered Greece, Minerva and Athena were identified together and Minerva was also elevated to a goddess of war. From what I understand, Pompey Magnus even erected a temple to Minerva in Rome using the spoils of war from his conquest in the east and dedicating those spoils to the goddess, identifying Minerva with Athena Nike, Athena the bestower of victory. Therefore, I’m also confused about that whole plot point about Minerva not actually being a war goddess.

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

It really does, I swear!

Pilot on me!!

So I made a rough outline for the things I think should be known by the fans, 10 entries per level. (I plan on using this for my template). I kept some of the previous entries from the other icebergs, but many have been rearranged or removed for my own spin on things.

I’ve already got the first Tier typed up, but I could go further on each entry if desired? You tell me if there’s something here you really want explored now, or if any could be removed in favor of something you might know that I don’t??? Or something you think needs exploring more than one I’ve got here, I’m all ears as always!

• Your Friendly Neighborhood Mentor

Tier 1: Clear as Day

The Ones Who Came Before

Previously called Precursors in the earlier entries, the Isu as they’re commonly called now are the race of beings that created the Humans and the Pieces of Eden. Frequently, their history - or, the Isu Era - is passed down through tradition and religion among various faiths and fables, twisting the Truth. They had a height advantage of ~20cm, extreme lifespans, and a “Sixth Sense” we’re not ready to discuss yet. There’s a lot more about their story we’ll look into further down, but this is what’s readily known by most fans.

The Truth

The Truth refers to the hidden video Clay Kaczmarek left behind all of the Glyphs he placed in the Animus. It shows Adam and Eve climbing an Isu structure in Eden, with Eve showing Adam an Apple she managed to steal, symbolizing the start of the Human Uprising against the Isu oppressors. The Truth can technically refer to any Isu Era history, though. The Hidden Truth, Messenger Messages, Anomaly Messages, Isu Codices, Isu writings, they all could technically fall under this umbrella, but being the first Truth we got from ACII, I’ll give them more airtime down below.

Ragnarok

Passed down in Viking culture as the tale of Ragnarok, the Toba Catastrophe of 75,000 BC was the cataclysmic event that marked the end of the Isu Era, seeing all but a handful wiped out from the solar flare that barraged the Earth, their number swiftly dwindling afterward. The Humans managed to survive more heartily than their creators, and many priceless Artifacts and underground Temples were lost to time since. The Isu did try to stop it using several Methods or Solutions that all failed.

Assassin-Templar Conflict

A secret war fought in the shadows for millennia, the Assassins and Templars have a

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.