I capitalized ON AN OPPORTUNITY today.
So there was a liquor store on the way home and my dad capitalized on its title...
My parents and I were on our way home for spring break when my dad noticed a liquor store called "The Wine Spot." He pulled into the parking lot and started complaining "I'M TIRED, MY FEET HURT, I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE HOME" and pulled right back out. I didn't get it at first but my mom did and then I quickly followed and just lost it. Best dad joke he's done so far :')
I capitalized on my buddy's phone's autocorrection of Titanfall
This is not a capital pun!
What do we give an incessantly joking father?
What's the difference between Mordor and the Capital?
One does not simply walk into Mordor
Despite waging war in Afghanistan, most Americans can't name its capital.
I was going to make a joke about capital punishment
But I wasn't sure how to execute it
Does anyone know why you are supposed to capitalize On A Bad Situation?
Moldova named the biggest mall in its capital malldova
Have you heard the joke about the capital building?
I hate working for what I want. Capitalism has ruined everything. Every time I dip my pen in the company ink, nine months later my wife hires a new employee.
I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS...
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.
I once asked a Frenchman how far it was to the capital city of Malawi.
He replied 'Le long way'.
Moscow is the capital of black holes...
...because everything is Rushin' to them.
Company password
During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacremento"
When asked why they had such a long password, the employee rolled their eyes and said "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"
if you wrote an essay about why capitalism was bad
would you gain or lose marks for not using capital letters...?
My friend asked me what the capital of Russia is
What is capital city of universe
Why does rockstar, Brian Johnson go to the US capital to cool off?
Because there's an AC in DC.
(Someone improve this joke.)
"Hey Dad, what's the capital of Australia?"
Ireland has the worlds fastest growing capital city...
My dad told me his password is: MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin
Because he was told his password had to contain 8 characters and at least one Capital
Why are the Irish so wealthy?
Because their capital is always Dublin
We all know who's the real enemy of capitalism...
Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin
I hear that Las Vegas is the capital city of trigonometric functions..
It earned the nickname Sin City!
The Irish Capital is experiencing exponential population growth
A kid asked his dad to tell him about capitalism.
Dad: well, in a nutshell, it's a cashew.
Fluffy camels are evil in Pakistan’s capital. I know what your asking...
What do you call a faucet in the capital of Belgium?
The capital of India received a large shipment of refrigerators for displaying meat but they were contaminated with coronavirus...
it was a lot of new deli cases
What’s the best way to get to the capital of Senegal? (From my 8 yr old son)
I have seen a number of pirates in the US Capital
I suppose they really like D.C.
If I ever need to know what state Juneau is the capital of
Not your normal format, but I have to share as I am pretty proud
For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"
I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural
What type of car believes in capital punishment?
Don't you HATE it when people Capitalize words sTrAnGeLy?
What’s the capital in France?
My kid, my pride.
My 7 year-old, looking at our junk mail: "Papa, what's Capital One".
My 13 year-old chimed in before I could say anything:"explaination mark!"
Really proud of him!!
Why should you write “republican” in lower case?
Because they don’t deserve to be anywhere near the capital.
I called my wife and told her I'd pick up pizza and coke on my way back home from work, but she's not happy.
She still regrets letting me name the twins.
The essence of capitalism is right there in the Pledge!
I'm surprised people in the Swedish capital are so reluctant to go on lockdown
You'd think they were used to being stuck home
What do a cab driver in Boston and a tourist in the capital of Bangladesh have in common?
What country capital has the fastest growing population?
Ireland, every day its... Dublin.
What country has the fastest growing capital?
Ireland, because it's always Dublin.
why are the irish so wealthy?
there capital is always dublin
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