I recently got ran over by a steam roller

people said i should be offended but i was flattered

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📅︎ Feb 28 2019
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Need help coming up with a punny Murder Mystery title

I'm planning a murder mystery game (you know, where everyone has a character and whatever) and they always have pun titles, but I'm stuck.

It's set in the future, in a semi-dystopian steam punk-inspired kinda setting. A scientist was murdered, while doing research into a new drug that would have had questionable effects on society. I know it's not much to go by, but any ideas?

EDIT: thanks heaps everyone! You guys are awesome!

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👤︎ u/cptnPluto
📅︎ Apr 17 2013
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My dad and steamed fish (not really a dad joke; just my dad's thing)

Chinese dude here.

Every time we have dinner with extended family, we'll have a whole steamed fish as one of the courses.

My dad will usually be the person to cut up and distribute the fish among the family.

Every time he does that, he'll use the spoon and fork to make the fish mouth "thunder, thunder, THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" before cutting up the fish followed by this shit-eating grin around the table. No one above the age of 14 laughs.

The younger cousins find this funny and that's probably why my dad keeps doing it every freaking time.

Just my dad's thing.

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👤︎ u/MechBear
📅︎ May 17 2014
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A classic Dadjoke that runs in the family

Always told whenever there's a family get together / dinner / speech.

Q: "What did the grape say when it got run over by a steam roller?"

A: "Nothing, it just let out a little whine."

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👤︎ u/JackLevin
📅︎ Apr 09 2014
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Hope it's not too hot.

So I am at lunch with a bunch of coworkers for a birthday lunch. We are eating Thai food and I ordered hot. One of the women at the table says "I hope it's not too hot" as my food comes out to which I responded "it can't be. It's not even steaming" many groans by the women at the table.

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👤︎ u/Woodman23
📅︎ Aug 14 2014
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