There’s a Bounty on my head [X-Post: r/IndiaSocial]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_Killed_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What do you call a mermaid's bounty hunter?

A mer-cenary!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Walang_Maisip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I have an odd attraction to a bounty hunter in Star Wars...

Guess I have a Boba Fetish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flylink63
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryingstlfan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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There were many factors that led to the mutiny on the HMS bounty in 1789. The most significant grievance was that:

They ran out of paper towels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.

Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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What do you call a bounty Hunter that doesn't wear underwear?

The Commandolorian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/junkyarms
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Did you hear about the guy shooting paper towel rolls in the wild?

He was a Bounty hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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What's the only Bounty Hunter Darth Vader is afraid of?

The Sandalorian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/damoisbatman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Anyone seen this man? There's a bounty on his head. imgur.com/r6ba5QU
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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What's the name of the space bounty hunter who used to host Deal or No Deal?

Howie Mandelorian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.

That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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What do you call a party for bounty hunters where you serve those little tapioca balls from bubble tea?

a boba fete!

...I'll just show myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/laplandsix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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Kaylee has a Bounty on her head.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StephenHunterUK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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With the increasing cases of Covid in America, I was worried there would be a shortage of paper towels.

But I found the grocery story to be Bounty full.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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There’s a bounty on your head
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sacke1212
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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I went to 3 different stores trying to find some paper towels....

I guess you could call me a Bounty hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wbgsccgc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What does the Mandalorian use to clean up Baby Yoda's messes?

He uses Bounty [a paper towel brand in the US]

I'm very proud--my teenage son just came up with this one, though I see a few variations when searching through past dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tampaillini
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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I hear Bounty's business is drying up
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thereisonlyoneme
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
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I became a Bounty hunter last night.

I looked and I looked for the paper towels but I never did find any.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyquill81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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Bounty on your head
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onesyboy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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What do you call the ghost of a hitman?

A bounty haunter!

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πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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Today I went out searching for shredded coconut coated in chocolate.

They call me The Bounty Hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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So today I fell asleep on the toilet and my two sons love to pretend they are cowboys they saw I was asleep and they put something on my head

When I woke up I realized that there was a bounty on my head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/random_nothinghd
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Anyone out shopping looking for paper towels can officially call themselves...

Bounty hunters

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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What’s the Mandalorian’s favourite paper towel?

Bounty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmust4chio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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What ever happened to the man who failed as both a stone cutter and bounty hunter?

He could never find his quarry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2016
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What do you call a bounty hunter's favorite dog?

A Boba Pett!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Td0123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2015
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When places ran out of toilet paper people started buying paper towel instead

They found a new bounty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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I offered Bonnie Tyler a Twix, but she refused it.

I offered her a Mars Bar, then a Yorkie and finally a Bounty, but she kept saying NO!

I think she was holding out for an Aero...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Somehow my daughter spilled apple juice in her hair.

She's fine now. I put a Bounty on her head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoku_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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I started getting death threats after wearing paper towels for a hat...

Apparently there's a Bounty on my head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeLittleMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
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A convict escapes from prison wearing paper towel shorts.

He’s now got a bounty on his head and his ass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Defend2112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Osama bin laden took a ancestry test and found out he was 78% middle eastern 8% chololate and 14% coconut

It was due to the bounty on his head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yodogg14
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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Dad-joked my Statistics class

On Thursday, I was in Statistics class, when all of the sudden, a girl from another math class nonchalantly wandered into our classroom, grabbed a few tissues from our class tissue box, and walked out, without saying a word. My teacher then jokingly suggested that our class track down people who take our classrooms tissues.

I then responded by saying, "At least she didn't take any of our paper towels. Because then, we would have to hire a Bounty hunter."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EPIDIDYMIS_HUMMUS
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2014
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I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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A king had a problem with a serial killer chicken...

He placed 30 silver coins as a bounty, and was peeved after a month had passed and nobody had taken the offer. He inquired to his squire, who responded that nobody would undergo such an unpleasant pheasant hunt for such a poultry sum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2016
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Using a coconut scented shampoo makes me nervous...

...because it feels like there's a BOUNTY on my head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asifbaig
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
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Why did the pirate wear a paper towel for a hat?

He had a bounty on his head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, "What's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel for a hat. The bartender asks, "What's with the paper towel?"

The pirate replies, "Arr, I got a Bounty on me head!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.

The bartender says; "hey, what's with the paper towel?" And the pirate says, "Arrr, I've got a bounty on me head!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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My paper towels went missing

So I had to hire a Bounty hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AxReMi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head

The bartender asks him why it's there, to which the pirate replies, "Arrr, there be a bounty on me head!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wc93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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I ran out of toilet paper

So I hired a bounty hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheYonko27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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A pirate walks into a bar wearing a turban made out of paper towels.

Bartender: What the hell?

Pirate: Arrr, there is a Bounty on me head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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All the paper towels went missing from my house.

Fortunately my dog is a Bounty hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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All the paper towels in my house went missing.

I think I need to hire a Bounty hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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