Blurred limes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Voltchek
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2014
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My earliest clear memory from my childhood is going with my dad to get my prescription glasses.

Life before that is a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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My wife threatened to leave me over my obsession with Blur

WOO HOO!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Looking back, my entire life was just a blur until I got glasses.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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I've got a Blur alarm clock. So I'm always waking up to Park Life.....

Except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awoken by the dustmen.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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The earliest memory I have is going to the doctor with my dad to get my eyes checked.

Things before that is a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Hehehe
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewhiz3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
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Dad's Jokes: they could save your life
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quest-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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My earliest childhood memory is visiting the eye doctor and getting my glasses.

Life before that was a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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I sharpened my pencil
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/20plus40plus9
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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A gift AND a pun? Boy am I lucky
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KiltedCobra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
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I got a rooster on 2018's Valentine's day.

Lol, on last year's Valentine's day my best friend had got mad at me for not asking my crush out.

We'd planned on going to McDonald's together because he didn't have a date either. When I arrived at McDonald's this f*cker was holding a cardboard box with a terrified look and when he saw me he immediately gave me the box and told me he'd already bought the food and that we better take the bus to my place. I just thought he probably was joking or something because the box didn't even have any kind of decoration, it even had a chips brand printed on it, but as we got to the bus and sat I felt something moving inside, I thought maybe it was a puppy or something, but why did he look scared of it?

So, we get to my house, I go to my backyard, where my then 7yo beagle was and I open the box. I could only see a black blur flying out of it and then heard my best friend scream. It was a rooster. He's terrified of birds. And weirdest of all it was a fully grown rooster but he was super tiny, like 10 inches tall tiny.

I asked him wtf was going on and he just kinda hid behind the backyard door and said "I bought it so that you could get some cock tonight". I always make puns and he hates them, I was speechless. So long story short I now own 6 chickens and 4 roosters (my mom got super mad at him for buying the rooster, but then she got super attached and bought him a chicken, when she laid eggs she let them hatch, the rooster's name is Enrique btw, my mom even made him a birthday party and all last week, lol)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArbiterInqui
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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He was so proud of this tinypic.com/view.php?pic=…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lkcohen112
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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I don't really remember the week after my eye surgery...

...it was all kind of a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeffj911
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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My earliest childhood memory is when my dad took me to the store to get prescription glasses.

Life before that is a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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My earliest clear childhood memory is going with my parents to the eye doctor.

Life before that is a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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