How do you make your hair blue?

You dabba-dee-dabba-dye it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dweebnut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.

He's a veteran Aryan.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/someredditorguy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
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I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He asked, โ€œCan you describe the symptoms?โ€ I replied, "Sure..."

โ€œTheyโ€™re yellow, Homerโ€™s fat, and Marge has blue hair.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Dad Jokes

It was a brisk Saturday morning when Gerald arrived at โ€œThe Cafรฉ,โ€ a hip coffee shop right down the street. Wearing his large, burly black coat, he stared hesitantly at his watch. Thick glasses adorned his bright blue eyes, his gaze like starlight in a clear night sky. He was waiting, intently twiddling his thumbs. After a buzz of his phone, the message from Dad popped up: โ€œParking now, be there in 5.โ€

โ€œDad,โ€ he whispered under his breath, swiping the message away to once again reveal the image on his lock-screen: a hazy picture of an ultrasound.

Gerald had not spoken to his father for three years. They had had a falling out, over which he did not remember. To him it was a competition of who could wait the longest without calling or sending a text. Who could wait the longest: him without a father, or his father without a son? The idea of friction in the relationship hurt like a thorn; piercing his soul more and more everyday. Until recently, out of the blue, โ€œDadโ€ popped up on his phone. The rest is history. The rest leads to that Saturday morning, at The Cafรฉ.

Bang! A car door rang out not too far from where Gerald stood. Gerald saw him. His father wore his tweed jacket like a coat of armor. His strut was now weaker than before they stopped talking; a weakness evident in his cane which supported every right step. His shortly trimmed white beard juxtaposed against his uncut, curly grey hair gave him the image of a wise wizard from a fairytale. He used to be that figure to Gerald, yet instead of a nice ancient being acting like a stone to keep him grounded, Gerald had felt as though his father was a rock pulling him deeper and deeper into a sea of monotony. Holding him back from his true potential. Maybe that was why he left? He still did not know.

โ€œHello, son,โ€ came the withered voice Gerald had sook for so long, yet now that it had arrived wanted to avoid. โ€œI canโ€™t believe itโ€™s been so long!โ€

โ€œYeah,โ€ said Gerald, allowing a smile to grace his face. โ€œToo long!โ€

Then they hugged, signifying a change in their relationship. Gerald had hoped something could happen to bring them closer together. He did not want to go on wondering what could have been. The regret and sadness weighed him down. Before starting a new family, Gerald wanted to be reacquainted with his own.

After finding their table and sitting down, the two began to discuss life. It was like old friends catching up after a long break. Although it took some time, Gerald began to warm u

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sullyrr
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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-Doc, I have hearing problems

-Could you describe the symptoms?

-Marge has blue hair and Homer is a fat guy

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Potato23860
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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I need help with this riddle

Cant figure it out I do know it's a 2 word answer and it's a pun. The riddle is

Penguins blue, I love you. Penguins bare, sometimes wear. Please find what tops a penguins hair!

Hint: There only are a few of these. There are two words!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tea_baggins69
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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My kid damaged my iphone so I am giving it away

He is 3 years old, blue eyes, blonde hair...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bot_10
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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An old guy and a young guy were pushing their carts at Home Depot when they collided. The old guy says to the young guy, โ€œSorry about that. Iโ€™m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.โ€

The young guy says, โ€œThatโ€™s okay. Itโ€™s a coincidence. Iโ€™m looking for my wife, too. I canโ€™t find her and Iโ€™m getting a bit anxious.โ€

The old guy says, โ€œWell maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, โ€œShe is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs and sheโ€™s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?โ€

The old guy says, โ€œDoesn't matter, letโ€™s look for yours.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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I told her only death can do us part ...

And death appeared to me as a tall blond girl with long hair and blue eyes ...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/afarro
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesnโ€™t Hang Solow!


Why shouldnโ€™t you ask Yoda for money? Because heโ€™s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what youโ€™re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jediโ€™s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Huttโ€™s middle name? โ€œTheโ€ Why is Han Solo a loner? Because heโ€™s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who wonโ€™t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Dad dropped this bomb at dinner

My mom, sister, and myself are all blonde with blue eyes, but my dad has black hair and green eyes. While discussing our coloring he dropped this on us. My mom-"you're so lucky. With your coloring you can wear nice oranges when we can't." My Dad-"Wouldn't oranges be awful heavy as clothing?" My mom-"just stop."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tearsinmyweave
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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Went to my doctor and said I was having trouble with my hearing.

He asked: โ€œcan you describe the symptoms?โ€ I said: โ€œsure, theyโ€™re yellow. Marge has blue hair and Homerโ€™s really fatโ€.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Advaldinho
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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I went to the doctor because I was having hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms ?", he asked.

I said "Homer's a fat guy and Marge has blue hair"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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I went to the Doctor with hearing problems. He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homerโ€™s a fat dude, and Marge has blue hair"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Leeuwe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearingโ€ฆ

He said, โ€œCan you describe the symptoms?โ€

I said, โ€œTheyโ€™re yellow, Homerโ€™s fat, and Marge has blue hair.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 06 2017
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I went to the doctors with hearing problems.

He said โ€œCan u describe the symptoms?โ€

I said โ€œHomer's a fat bloke and Marge has blue hairโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SemolinaPilchards
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2016
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