What do you see when the Pillsbury dough boy bends over?
What do you see when a duck bends over?
When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
I got carded at a liquor store and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out
The cashier said nevermind
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
Why can't you give credit to elbow for bending the arm?
Because it's a Joint effort
The Queen Mary & The Queen Elizabeth 2
Since you guys like one liners, I thought you’d live two liners.
What do you call a con artist that can air bend?
At dinner tonight my mother in law asked why my sons knife had a bend in it
I told her it’s so he can cut corners
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.
"No thanks, just looking around."
What do you call an expensive car that can flex?
My dad did a decent job bending his stick.
Yoga bends. Yoga stretches. Yoga realizes he’s completely out of shape.
I would bend over backwards
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks
We really need to raise the bar.
How are Rice Krispies able to bend so well without breaking?
Because they’re marsh-malleable.
What happens when the sunrise bends over?
You see the crack of dawn.
How did the baker react when he was knighted?
How do you catch a polar bear?
You cut a hole in the ice
Line the hole with peas
When the polar bear bends over to take a pea,
Ya kick it in the icehole!
If Elbows Didn't Bend...
They would have no point.
My friend always bends down when he's grocery shopping.
He suffers from low shelf esteem.
I forgot that my U-bend was blocked when I went to the toilet this morning.
But I remembered when all came flooding back to me.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
There's an envelope on my doorstep that says "do not bend"
I still haven't worked out how to pick it up.
My friend said he could bend his big toe.
I told him to do it.
He had his shoes on so he said:"I don't want to shoe off"
I've been having some separation anxiety recently, and my Jamaican psychiatrist recommended that I bend an old pen around my finger as an exercise in self-assurance
Worked like a charm, I really feel like I am in de pen dent
A sandwich is a compromise
Got dad joked by Boyz ii Men while I was proposing to my girlfriend last night.
So last night, i proposed to my girlfriend of 7 years. We went to go watch Boyz ii Men out here in Las Vegas. I had purchased the meet and greet package to which the entire show staff and Boyz ii Men were completely aware about what I was about to do.
After I had popped the question, there was silence, Wanya turns over to my girlfriend, and says, "You can say, he's On Bended Knee." I heard my girlfriend silently groan under her breath, before she said YES!
I'm notorious for puns in our relationship, so after he came through with that punchline, she knew that they were in on it too. What an honorable night for a dadjoke!
Photos of the moment here!
http://imgur.com/a/pIO0h
I heard the NFL is supporting Colin Kaepernick.
I'm glad they are giving him the support he kneeds.
I'd bend over backwards to play limbo.
What is yellow, a little bend and not a banana?
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
How would you describe what quality of plastic fork would be needed to eat a particular food without bending?
That would be its utensil strength.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
(Sorry) (not sorry)
What do you get when the sunrise bends over
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
We really need to raise the bar.
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks
We really need to raise the bar
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
We really need to raise the bar.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
People hate bending over to get their drinks
They need to raise the bars
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar
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