My wife told me she would bang my head off the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I don't believe heryhhxfukklo8764eh89kg4ghi9hde3yhoonib7v6c5x4xv9n8vx4&6c79b9n
π︎ 52
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︎ May 17 2021
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, βWhat happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. There is no Time.β
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
What goes clip-clop bang, clip-clop bang?
π︎ 9
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︎ May 09 2021
The Trump Presidency didn't end with a bang...
π︎ 39
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︎ Nov 06 2020
I hate it when people bang on about their phobias.
I have a terrible fear of heights, but you won't find me shouting about it from the rooftops.
π︎ 62
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︎ Oct 15 2020
My friend said he wanted to bang his mom and kill his dad.
I told him that was some freudulent thinking.
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 05 2020
My dad told me that when he dies, he wants his ashes to be made into fireworks so he can go out with a bang.
π︎ 215
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︎ Jul 05 2020
What goes clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, BANG, BANG, BANG?
An Amish drive by shooting.
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 20 2020
My depressive daughter said she "wants to go out with a bang"
I got her to a hair stylist,but im not approving of this relationship.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 16 2020
The term "getting the most bang for your buck" can be applied in a gun store and with a hooker
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 21 2019
What goes "clip-clop-clip-clop-bang?"
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 05 2020
They went out with a bang
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
If you don't think The Big Bang Theory is funny, make sure to buy the dvd and watch the extras.
Everyone knows the real jokes are always in the commentary.
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 21 2018
The people who actually show up to the Area 51 raid are really gonna go out with a bang.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 12 2019
This sub makes me bang my head against a wall
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 30 2019
Do you know why some people bang on the side of the ketchup bottle while others bang on the bottom of the ketchup bottle?
Me: No. Why?
Him: To get the ketchup out.
Told to me by my grandfather-in-law as I was banging on the side of the ketchup bottle.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Dec 13 2015
I told my boyfriend that I got an expensive haircut, but they left my bangs too long.
He replied, "too much bang for your buck?"
π︎ 921
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︎ Jul 13 2016
This is bang out of order
π︎ 240
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︎ Mar 29 2017
"The Big Bang Theory" is getting a Facebook-based game!
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 18 2019
2 fish are swimming and the bang into a wall.
One fish turns to another and says:
Dam!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 27 2018
What does a fish say when it bangs into a wall?
Oh Dam....
My sisters and I were shook by the amount of thought Papa put into this joke!
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 14 2018
What do you call a group of friends with bangs ?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 04 2018
My 2 year old is watching Chitty Chitty bang bang for the second day in a row...
The MGM lion is doing his thing at the beginning and she says "oooh that's a scary tiger"
I quickly retorted, "that's a lion you know it!"
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 03 2018
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 20 2018
Well this is just bang out of order isn't it?
https://imgur.com/m6v7sUP
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 14 2016
What came before the big bang?
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 12 2014
"Could I pull off bangs?"
"Yeah, but it would hurt."
Tumblr source: http://cashcutie.tumblr.com/post/80936111716/cashcutie-tearn-aqua-cashcutie-could-i
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 28 2014
Trump is going out, not with a bang, but...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, βWhat happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. No Time.β
π︎ 29
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, βWhat exactly happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. No time.β
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 30 2019
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, βWhat happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. No time.β
π︎ 384
π
︎ Dec 17 2018
When the physics lecture ended, I asked my professor, βWhat happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. No time.β
π︎ 52
π
︎ Sep 22 2019
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, βWhat happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. No time.β
π︎ 87
π
︎ Jul 14 2019
After the lecture was over, I asked my physics professor, βWhat happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. No time.β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 26 2019
At the end of the class, I asked my physics professor, βWould you tell me what happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry I canβt. Thereβs no Time.β
π︎ 42
π
︎ Sep 20 2018
What goes clop clop, bang bang, clop clop clop?
An Amish Drive-by shooting.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 17 2013
This is bang out of order.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 03 2015
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