My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".

We're half way there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I was just asked about the name of the song written by Ida Corr and Fedde Le Grand

Let Me Think About It

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josh2807
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
"Let me get this straight, you want me to write a kids song about a dog with a funny "name-o"


πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If Trump wrote a song, what would he name it?

The Whistleblower's Daughter

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/ASMRamen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the name of that Norah Jones song?

Don't know. Why?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mickets
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the horse's name in the song "Jingle Bells"

Bob...bells on "Bob's" tail ring

Credit: heard it the other day and made me laugh

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/suchaweirdshow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Pick any name in the world. I bet I can sing a song with that name in it..

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday dear...

Edit: Wow. Wasn't expecting over 1,000 upvotes on my first ever post. Thanks!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/Morgan921
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2013
🚨︎ report
Winnie the Poop (not a traditional dad joke)

This is not a traditional /r/dadjokes with a delivery and a punchline.

I just wanted all dad's, with kids around 2-6, to know that changing the name of Winnie the Pooh to Winnie the Poop will generate maniacal laughter from your kids. Especially if you combine it with singing the theme song from the movie.

As an added bonus, there is no statute of limitations on when you add the extra P. You can say: Winnie the Poop Winnie the Pooh...P Or Winnie the Pooh...... ...... .... P And your kids will laugh just as hard.

I've gone a full minute without saying the last P, while my kids hang on my every facial movement.


πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/elChardo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
So Proud!

We were talking about all of the songs with explicit lyrics on the new Ariana Grande album this morning and my 7-year-old son blurts out: β€œHer name should be Sweariana Grande!” I like the way this kid’s brain is growing!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/dogsaybark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my friend I was a big fan of Metallica.

He challenged me and asked me to name 3 songs. I told him "I'm sorry. I only know One"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkl15
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the meanest reindeer in Santa's herd?

Olive. You've heard the song. "Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a song named Fish Out of Water....

....Too bad it flopped.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamer365365
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2016
🚨︎ report
[Request] Tubas and Classic Rock

Every year for the past few years, I’ve written music for a tuba ensemble for a summer band camp. Last year’s music was titled β€œTubaChristmas in July,” which had β€œHallelujah” by Pentatonix, β€œCarol of the Bells,” β€œYou’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and β€œHave Yourself a Merry TubaChristmas.” This year I’m about 90% sure we’re doing rock/classic rock. So far I have β€œBohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, β€œPaint It, Black” by The Rolling Stones, β€œLivin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi, β€œDon’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, and some fifth song I haven’t chosen yet (BTW I’m open to song ideas).

I need a pun that mixes Tuba with Rock or with Classic Rock. Similar to how TubaChristmas in July doesn’t include song names, but you know it’s Christmas music on tubas.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Leo_1110
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years.

An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years. He'd had many bees he gave names to, like Buzz or Stripe or Sting. He got a kick out of naming them and he would spend hours with them crawling on his hands, looking at them, holding them gently and humming little songs.

One year, the hive had a new queen, and she was the most magnificent thing he'd ever seen. He usually gave them clever names like Honey, but this one was just too gorgeous for that. He named her Beauty, and he would hum to her everyday as the sun went down.

One day, during a particularly beautiful sunset, the old man was watching his queen as she peddled around in the palm of his hand, singing to her gently, when a gust of wind suddenly blew some debris toward his face. Without thinking, he reacted, moving his hands fast toward his face, and smashed the queen right into his own eye. And so I guess what they say is true, Beauty really is in the eye of the bee holder.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!

Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.

Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon

If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries

Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.

Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.

Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.

What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.

How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.

What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.

What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.

What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.

First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.

Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.

If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper β€œHere comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost

I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon

If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?

This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.

If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.

I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.

My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.

When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Danny Brown's latest album was titled Atrocity Exhibition, after a Joy Division song.

The Joy Division song was in turn named after a novel by J. G. Ballard. This makes 'The Atrocity Exhibition' the book the song the album is named after is named after.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedKoiBlueKoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad Jokes of the 90s

Dad and me, listening to the radio in 1996......Dad: "Who does this song?" Me: "It's Garbage." Dad: "I know, but what's the name of the band?"

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ‘€︎ u/bradapalooza
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
🚨︎ report
Long Song

We started block scheduling today at school, and my friend has a teacher named Song. She said to me, "Ugh, I have two hours of Song."

I thought to myself, damn that's a long song.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/SaturnOne
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
🚨︎ report
A guest at the restaurant I work at told me the daddest joke I've ever heard

I was walking by with a jar of olives when he told me: "You know that was Santa's eighth reindeer, right?" Me:"Umm, Olive?" Him:"Yeah, you know the song! ..and olive the other reindeer laughed and called Rudolph names!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Dropped this on my kids as I was changing radio stations...

We were driving down the road to a friend's house and the song "What's My Name" by Rihanna came on.

As soon as it started, I changed the station and the kids quickly began to complain, so I said...

"If she hasn't already learned her name by now, there's no point in listening to it."

My wife laughed as the kids just started at me with a confused expression.

My best one to date.

πŸ‘︎ 173
πŸ‘€︎ u/PhatDaddi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2013
🚨︎ report
Imagine, if you will, a futuristic dystopian society

In this society, companies and businesses are not legally allowed to give themselves a name. Instead, companies are ID's alphanumerically. The first businesses were Corporation A, Company B, Business C, ... Organization Z, Company A1, etc.

The world's current largest corporation is Company B. They're particularly known for their robotics manufacturing. One day, Company B had just finished the design for two new robots. One that would automatically play blues songs on a record player at the press of a button. (What we know today as a jukebox) The other was a companion robot for lonely people, modeled after a beagle.

Unfortunately, when the final version of these robots were being manufactured for a worldwide release, there was an error in the automated assembly line. This error caused the two robots to be built simultaneously, creating a single robot.

The resulting product came to be known as the Boogie Woogie Beagle Bot of Company B.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMcSwaggerton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2015
🚨︎ report
"Is that with a 'ph?'"

I was trying to find the chords for a song for my dad, but I didn't recognize the melody right off the bat either.

"What's the name of the song?"

"Westphalia Waltz."

"Is that with a 'ph?'"

"Yes...probably about 7.0."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/draqza
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2016
🚨︎ report
The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
🚨︎ report
"What are the names of all 10 reindeer mentioned in 'Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer'?"

"Well, let me see. There's Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolf, and ... and... There are only 9 reindeer mentioned in the song."

"Nope. There's 10. You forgot 'Olive'."

"'Olive'? There's not a reindeer named 'Olive'."

"Yes there is. 'β™« Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...β™«'

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmyxlplyx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
🚨︎ report
A band we saw today lost its power

I went to see my brothers band play a gig today, and in the middle of a song, they lost power. Dad immediately said "This wasn't what I had in mind when you said (band name) Unplugged!".

Groans all around.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCharco_iii
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2015
🚨︎ report
What's Robin Hoods girlfriend called?

A teacher asks her class "Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?"

Little Paddy raises his hand and says "Yes Miss, it's Trudy Glen."

"No Paddy, the answer is Maid Marion."

"But Miss, what about the song? Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/aontroim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Guess who sings this song?

I was about 8 and a friend's dad was driving us somewhere when American Woman comes on the radio.

Friend's Dad(FD): Guess who sings this song?

Me: I don't know.. The Beatles?

FD: No, Guess Who

Me: The Eagles?

FD: Guess Who is the name of the band

Me: groan

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/serjfan7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad woke me up with this heartwarming text (We play tennis competitively)

Dad: "Heard a nice song that reminded me of you. Love you. Be Safe!"

Me: "Love you dad :)"

Dad: "Name of the song you ask? Tennis beat down. No not really."

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ‘€︎ u/seewhatyadidthere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
🚨︎ report
I just dropped this holiday joke on my kids

I want to get a dog that I'm going to name Feliz. That way, whenever he piddles on the floor, I can sing, "Feliz, Naughty Dog".

(Now try to get that song out of your head for the rest of the evening.)

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ‘€︎ u/WPBDoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2013
🚨︎ report
My 6th grade teacher was the king of dad jokes.

My 6th grade teacher had a reputation of being the meanest, strictest teacher on campus, but once I made it through his class, I realized he could be a jokester, too.

-In math class, he liked to tell a long, complicated story about a boy encountering a genie, eventually wishing for some odd things, just to end it with the punchline, "Gee, I'm a tree." (geometry)

-Another one of his long jokes consisted of a man being chased by a hearse. In a fit of desperation, he throws some Halls throat lozenges at it...."and the coffin went away."

-During study time, he would sometimes grab a balloon from his desk, blow it up, and proceed to slowly let air out of it, just to produce the squeaky noise.

-His favorite short joke: "Doctor, doctor, I broke my arm in three places!" "I advise you to stay out of those places."

-He was also probably the all-time leader of correcting, "Can I go to the bathroom?"

-He would also occasionally play opera music at the end of the day, not dismissing the class until we made it through an entire song without laughing.

-There were also a couple words that incited a specific reaction from him. Many of these words showed up often in history class, which is his favorite subject (probably because of all the jokes):

Anyway, it was a fun year with that teacher. I'll add more of his quirks if I think of any.


... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyei8hts
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad dadjoked me twice in a row

My parents and I are just finishing up some Fringe on TV and my mom says, "You know that song 'I think I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so?'" And I say, "Yeah, I think that band is called The Vacuums or something."My dad says: "Yeah, that band really sucks." I look it up online and it turns out that band is actually named The Vapors. I tell my parents that, being a good guy and all, and totally willing to admit when I'm wrong, and my dad says, "Oh, that band? They really stink." I cannot wait. I CANNOT WAIT to be a Dad and tell Dad jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/soharborcoat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you know Santa had another reindeer named "Olive?"

You know how the song goes.

"Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Old_Army90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.