Avs Puns

He had trouble shooting.

I heard they tried to get away ,but they didn’t av a car doe...

AV in.

My brain:

Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it

Me: ‘hAvEn’t HaD A sHoWeR sInCe LaSt YeAr’

So, this just happened last night. My son (11 years old, and a true lover of dad jokes) is not presently speaking to me.

After i just finished cutting an avocado in two... Me: Shall we "halve" some avocado with dinner tonight? Huh? Huh? (Dramatically pointing to the cut produce in Vanna White style.) Son: (Unimpressed). I might take a little. Me: You might? I say you "halve two!" (Again gesturing dramatically to the two halves.) Son: groan That was TERRIBLE... But you score extra points for a double pun. Me: Av-a-cad-o million more where those came from. Mic Drop

While packing after our family camp reunion, my father invites his sister, obviously my aunt, to come eat lunch with us at av restaurant on the way home.

Aunt: Oh no thanks! [husband] and I went to Wendy's on our way here!

Dad: oh nice!... How is she doing?

There was much Groaning.