Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
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︎ Apr 08 2021
I suggested my son wear a hi-hat for hat day at school but he said no.
Apparently he's not into cymbalism.
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︎ Mar 25 2021
There was a kidnapping at my sons school today.
He woke up after about 20 minutes.
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︎ Apr 09 2021
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle...
Strange name, but she tortoise well .
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︎ Feb 18 2021
I'm allergic to sesame seeds, so back in Year 3 at primary school, people would tell this joke:
What show is Dec allergic to?
Sesame Street!
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︎ Apr 04 2021
While waiting for a school-related live stream, me and my friend decided to throw words at each other and make puns out of them. This is one of my most proudest puns.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
What do you call taking just one term at a French immersion school?
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︎ Mar 22 2021
What did the buffalo say when he dropped his kid off at school?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
At my school, there's a large lizard that wanders the halls all day.
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︎ Mar 04 2021
I was terrible at spelling when I was at school.
Brilliant at jography though.
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︎ Feb 20 2021
What di they serve at the cannibal school?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
This was at my high school
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Just got an epic eye roll for this: My son was showing me his school work from math, where he was learning fractions. I pointed to where he wrote his name on a line at the top and asked what that fraction was.
I told him it should be {Sons Name} / Mommy. Since he came from her.
Then I said he could reduce that fraction further since he came from his mommy, that fraction would equal....
One Whole
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︎ Feb 20 2021
Is it o.k. to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school...
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner
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︎ Dec 03 2020
What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
A son tells his Dad he wants to win the limbo contest at his school...
His dad says, "That's a pretty low bar."
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︎ Dec 30 2020
A nominee for director of the math department at my school was caught having an affair with her student...
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︎ Dec 18 2020
I failed maths so many times at school.
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Iโm at school and I feel the urge to use the bathroom
Me: teacher can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: itโs may
Me: no itโs not, itโs December
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︎ Dec 01 2020
I tried to make a reservation at the school library. The librarian say I couldn't.
They were completely booked.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Iโm at my school talent show and this guy said...
โbefore I start, I would like to check if my mic is working..โ
โif your name is Michael, please stand upโ
then a couple of guys stand up
and he goes
โthat concludes my mike checkโ
(I saw this tweet and just had to share it!)
Click here for credit
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︎ Nov 30 2020
There was a kidnapping at my sonโs school this week.
Fortunately he woke up after half an hour.
Told to me this morning by my 9yo son - I was very proud!
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︎ Nov 20 2020
The one subject I was bad at in school
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I remember having rocks thrown at me because I was a nerd in high school.
As they hit me, I thought, โthatโs not gneiss.โ
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︎ Oct 29 2020
At international cheese school what did the teacher say to Netherland's cheese when it asked a doubt?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
8yo nephew's an early bloomer. Gets home, tells his dad, "There was a kidnaping at school today." Dad: "What!?!" 8yo, dead serious, -
"It's okay, dad... He woke up." Doesn't even smile. Walks away.
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︎ Aug 18 2019
I'm surprised to find myself working at NASA even though i never graduated high school.
Someone had to clean the toilets and keep the place clean.
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
It was a short nap, only about 20 minutes.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
I was in a food fight at school & accidentally hit the principal with a stale cafeteria bun...
...the jerk had me charged; assault with a breadly weapon.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
At school they used to call me The Elephant Man.
I like to think it's because I had a good memory.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
A guy at school kept hitting me with poultry...
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︎ Jul 08 2020
What do frat boys at chiropractor school call each other?
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︎ Aug 30 2020
Kid: Oh man dad, today's test at school was difficult. There was a test with like 99 problems on it -and one of those problems was a real bitch.
Dad: Well we know one thing. Your teacher is not Jay-z!
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︎ Aug 29 2020
Do you know what is used to provide vision at night at school playgrounds?
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︎ Jul 18 2020
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Did you hear about the kidnapping at a elementary school?
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︎ Feb 08 2021
A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
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︎ Feb 10 2021
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school today?
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Did tou hear about the kidnapping at school?
No need to worry. He eventually woke up.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Did you guys hear about the kidnapping at school?
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︎ Sep 17 2020
What did the father buffalo say to his kid while dropping him off at school?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
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︎ Sep 14 2020
What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off at school?
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︎ Sep 02 2020
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