I have a joke about fat people with big asses.
Butt weight....That's not fanny.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
What a bunch of asses
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︎ Sep 04 2020
A group of women were surveyed on their asses
30 percent said their ass was too small
10 percent said their ass was too big
And 60 percent said he was just right
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︎ Jun 05 2019
Big bosses often get their asses kissed by their minions. What should they do if they don't want their minions to be like that?
The boss should just turn the other cheek.
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︎ Aug 25 2018
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︎ Jun 26 2008
One long ass pun
There was this scientist that discovered a way to keep porpoises alive forever. Problem was that he had to feed them baby sea gulls Well the sea gull was a protect species so he had to be careful. Well one night he was bringing some back to the lab. It was very dark and he ran over a lion that was sleeping in the middle of the road A cop sees all this and you know what he arrested him for ? Carrying underaged gurls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises
This is not original. I read it in a book of puns 40 years ago. I do not know which one I would like to give it credit but it was 40 years ago
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︎ Aug 12 2019
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︎ Aug 10 2017
Look at this lion ass
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︎ Dec 02 2020
When the doctors told me I have cancer I laughed my ass off
they said I have a great sense of tumour
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Whatβs a more concrete term for butt crack?
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︎ Nov 03 2020
What do you call a croissant with no ass?
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︎ Nov 14 2020
At least he got laid before he died
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I once ate two pieces of string and an hour later they came out my ass tied together
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︎ Oct 02 2020
What do you call a weird person with an ass fetish?
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︎ Sep 07 2020
If somebody slaps Dwayne Johnsonβs ass
Theyβre hitting rock bottom...
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I was trying to tell some ass jokes...
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Don't blame others for the road you're on.
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What did the sushi say to the bee?
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︎ Aug 27 2020
My wife just told me she wanted her ass 8.
I told her that was just ass 9.
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︎ Aug 09 2020
I donβt wash my ass
Because I donβt let shit bother me
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︎ Sep 28 2020
What part of the body always loses?
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︎ Dec 16 2020
My friend Shirley was obsessedwith adverb grammar but would never get off her ass.
We called her Slowly Butt Shirley
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︎ Aug 12 2020
get your ass kicked
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︎ Jan 25 2020
Why did the Donkey quit his job?
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I accidentally sat on a campfire the other day
It was the most ember assing thing that has ever happened to me
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︎ Dec 07 2020
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I asked my wife is she was using the ps3 charging cable
She said it was CURRENT-ly available.
I laughed my ass off. She didnβt get it. I explained. Got a dirty look.
.... worth it.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Did you hear about the guy without any ass?
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︎ Jul 24 2020
Does anyone know if doctors could take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
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︎ Jul 15 2020
My dad told me that when he dies, he wants his ashes to be made into fireworks so he can go out with a bang.
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︎ Jul 05 2020
What do you call a Batman who just returned from a fight and got his ass kicked?
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︎ May 18 2020
What do you call a smart-ass optometrist?
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︎ Aug 06 2020
If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....
He would be the Pastor of Muppets
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︎ Oct 09 2020
If Emily gets depantsed in front of her friends...
Sheβs em-bare-assed on 2 levels
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︎ Dec 19 2020
What if all women disappears!!?
That would be pain in the ASS.
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︎ Dec 20 2020
ok..
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︎ May 07 2020
I've had a cheap hair transplant. It's made from cat hair.
Only trouble is, every time my wife strokes it, I stick my ass in the air.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I named my hard drive "dat ass"
So once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'.
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︎ Jul 14 2020
/r/puns appreciates it.
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︎ Mar 17 2020
Filters
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︎ May 17 2020
Two birds run into a bank
Bird 1: what are we doing
Bird 2: we robin
Ik delivery couldve been better but leave me be best my hungover ass can do rn
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What has three letters and starts with gas?
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︎ Jul 06 2020
I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I got the final treatment today for hemorrhoids.
You could have said it was a pain in the ass
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︎ Dec 12 2020
What did Tennessee
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︎ Aug 12 2020
Every once in a while you run into a truly eccentric proctologist
You know, one crazy ass doctor
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︎ Nov 26 2020
A donkey just smashed through my window!
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︎ Oct 05 2020
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