a man with no arms went to a monastery to apply for a job as a bell ringer

The monk told him but sir, you have no arms, how will you ring the bell?

The man said, " just lead me to the bell and I'll show you."

So they walked up the long stairwell that led to the top of the belfry. Once at the top, the man walked over to the bell to get a good look at it. He then proceeded back up against the furthest wall and leapt into a sprint, face first into the bell.

He plummeted 65 feet below to his death. Tragically, no sound came from the bell.

When the police arrived an hour later, they asked the monk if he knew the man.

The monk simply said, "No. His face doesn't ring a bell either."

But wait, there's more...

The next day another man with no arms showed up at the monastery and told the monk "Yesterday the man who died here was my brother. This was his lifelong dream. If it's ok with you, I'd like to try just once for him."

The monk certainly couldn't refuse and slowly led the man up the long stairwell.

Once at the top the man walked over to the bell. He kissed the spot where his brother's face hit the bell just a day before and walked back to the edge of the furthest wall.

The priest watched in horror as once again a man hurled himself face first towards the bell, but at the last minute the man tucked his chin, stopped at the last moment and slammed his head into the side of the bell.

The bell rang with the loudest clang the countryside had heard in years. In fact, it was so loud the man cried out in agonizing pain, lost his balance and fell to his death below.

Once again the police showed up, and once again asked the monk if he knew the man's name to which the monk replied, "no, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

I'll show myself out.

Good night

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Badpun-dadjoke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2022
🚨︎ report
What job does a chicken apply for?

The Egg-sterminator.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCommandKingg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2022
🚨︎ report
I should apply for a job as a window washer

It’s something I can really see myself doing

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yep_sock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did the programmer apply for the job as a plastic surgeon?

......He heard they needed help with back end development

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jakze13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I was gonna apply for a job at a Dentist’s Office, but unfortunately...

They didn’t need any fillings.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordIggy88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy came to apply for a job at my ski resort but suddenly walked off angrily...

All I said was "there's snow jobs available."

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
When you apply for a job at pepsi

Do they test for coke?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDinopunch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad told me to apply for a job at Men's Warehouse

He said a job like that would really suit me

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/totusestunus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job where I'll be hanging mirrors

It's something I can see myself doing

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBoyBarm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2022
🚨︎ report
My son applied for a job as a garbage man.

After the interview, he’s confident he’s got it in the bag.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2022
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job as a fortune teller.

He said, "So...where do you see yourself in...12 days?"

I said, "Not working here anymore."

He said, "Excellent, you're hired."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2022
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job at the mall and lied. Then they got mad. But why?

The sign said, β€œFalse Eyelash Application Now!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1401rivasjakara
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2022
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job at a mirror store

I could really see myself working there.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2022
🚨︎ report
I applied for a groundskeeper job...

...but I flunked the polygrass test.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2022
🚨︎ report
I told a friend hunting for jobs to apply at the local marijuana dispensary

I heard it’s a kush job.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dee4maine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2022
🚨︎ report
I thought about applying for a job in the military...

But I just can't see myself in camouflage.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2022
🚨︎ report
I just applied for a job down at the diner.

I told them I really bring a lot to the table.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Liver_Bird89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2022
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job to be a spy.

They wanted my resume and undercover letter. 😎

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEasterbro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job as a joke explainer...

... I didn't get it!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2021
🚨︎ report
An Auatralian bear applied for a job...

...but they didn't hire him because he lacked the Koalafications for the position.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jewbacca331
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2021
🚨︎ report
The invisible man applied for a job, got an offer and turned it down.

He just couldn't see himself doing it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timcharper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2021
🚨︎ report
After years of working housekeeping making beds in a hotel I applied for a job as an accountant

I told them I had plenty of experience because I excel at spread sheets.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thep0et2652
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm applying for a job at my local mirror factory

It's a place I can really see myself working at.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pacos-ego
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A midget was in my office applying for a job. He humbly noted all the benefits of his stature regarding the job.

I still think he was selling himself short.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Virtual-Prime
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I applied for a Job at Citroen the other day

Had to send in 2CVs

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoondoggydogg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job as a short order cook...

...but I didn’t get the job. They said I was too tall.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Next Summer I'm applying for a job cleaning mirrors.

It's something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaynesky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job at Amazon.

I told them I'll arrive for the interview between 9&5.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother applied for a pet store job and when they asked when are you available to work he said right Meow
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noose22
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Just applied for a job in my local mirror shop.

Don't know what it is but I can totally see myself working there.

πŸ‘︎ 324
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center... The interviewer asked me if I can work well under pressure
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Applying for jobs is unbearable...
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TikiRoomSchmidt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job as a doorman. I didnt get it.

I was very surprised, I thought it was an entry level position

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datboifritz113
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I phoned up the place where I'd applied for a job at. I said, "I'm looking for Jane Wilkinson. The manager of the department."

She said, "Speaking...?"

I said, "English."

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
My epileptic brother applied for a job at a strobe light factory.

I'm sure he'll fit in there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
If a butler screws up when applying for a job, you should always give them a second chance.

After all, everyone deserves a re-buttle.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/entropomorphic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job as a Shakespeare tour guide

But never made it past the Onbarding process.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRubber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job at Subway

But they said the role was filled...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scratman99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job hanging mirrors.

It's something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pvtsoab
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2022
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job hanging mirrors...

It's something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2022
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job hanging mirrors.

It's something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoopdihoop
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2022
🚨︎ report
My son applied for a job as a telemarketer and his interview was a success.

He didn't get the job.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2022
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job hanging mirrors.

It’s something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HelpMePeez
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2022
🚨︎ report
Just applied for a job cleaning mirrors...

Now that's something I could see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Baws
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2022
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job at a mirror factory

I could see myself doing that

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Burgerman117
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job cleaning mirrors.

I can really see myself doing that.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yakhuul
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I applied for a job at a mirror factory.

I could really see myself working there.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycannon7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.