This pretty much sums of every applicant we’ve seen at the shop....Nah, hostess
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tribelawn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Why did the job applicant kick the door on his way into the interview?

So he could try to get a foot in the door

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks β€œwhy should I hire you?” The applicant responded β€œI have a special talent!”

β€œOh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.

The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.

At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!

β€œYou’re hired!!” He exclaimed.

The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asked β€œwho is he?”

The priest responded β€œI don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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If I owned a roofing company, and interviewed an applicant with a fear of heights.....

......I wouldn't "higher" them......

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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Why did the applicant mail a ruler to the company a week before the interview?

He was trying to get 30.48 cm in the door.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugbrain_04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
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There were too many applicants for boot camp

Many of them had to be put on a wading list.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TakaComics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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I am finally ready to accept applications for my deer cloning business...

It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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I just read a book about the proper application of adhesive substances

I just cant put it down

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hey-reddit-im-dad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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My imterviewer asked me why I put A, C, D, E, I, M, N, O, R, and T on my application.

I told him they were the letters of recommendation.

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargedMedal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Why is Excel the most hated of all Microsoft applications?

All it does is spreadsheet.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sothg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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I am trying to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the companies keep denying my application.

They told me, β€œIf your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Application or downlication?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to coronavirus, applications are being moved from TCP to UDP.

To avoid handshakes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itsimpleismart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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I programed a new application on my robot that simulates anxiety I call it...

The nervous system

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Childhoodcocaine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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What happened to the dull knife's application

It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pulsar0516
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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My parents used my Uber to go and file the application ending their marriage.

I gave the driver one star. He drove my parents to divorce.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sebfazio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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I lied on my application for membership to the American Amputee Association

When they found out, I was dismembered.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Happy_Each_Day
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard that Beethoven once wrote a song about a website that lets you submit rental applications online.

He called it "fΓΌr e-lease”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryosen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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A church was hiring a new bell ringer

And they interviewed an applicant named Stan. Stan had no arms due to an accident so the hiring manager asked how he would ever be able to do the job.

"I'll show you",said Stan.

They walked up flight after flight of stairs to the Bell tower all the while the manager wondered how Stan would ever be able to do the job. His questions were soon answered when after reaching the Bell tower, Stan took off running striking the bell face first. Gooong goes the bell. Stan picks himself up, takes off running face first at the bell, Gooong.

"Hold, on. You'll hurt yourself."

"I'm tough," said Stan, " "and I really needed this job"

"Ok," said the manager, leaving Stan to do the job.

All day the bell rang on the hour correctly and the manager thought too soon that he had misjudged Stan. Finally, at six in the evening there were only three gongs, then a commotion. Going out to see what was going on he found Stan dead on the street below. Apparently he had become disoriented from head trauma and missed the bell entirely falling to the street below.

"Who was this man, Who was he?" asked the crowd.

Not wanting to admit liability for the accident, the manager said "I don't know."

"But his face sure rings a bell"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_pos-tmodern_man
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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My best job application yet
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MalelaIsMeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes:

C

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkRedditBot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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A person that works faster than expected always has extra time on their hands.

The same is true for clocks.

(PSA: Remember to correct yours tonight, as applicable.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrBELDING69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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Google Just launched an application for infants and newborns, it's called

Google-dada

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Udjasen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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An iPhone application should be called as an Applecation.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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Lately I have been lying on all of my job applications.

I found them all stuffed under my mattress.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fux_Aches
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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What is the best way to get into college?

Use the door.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magus_5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I just read a patent application for a device that advances through a book while you read it.

It was a real page-turner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mhwal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Dress Code
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/udipadhikari
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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I wrote up my 20 page patent application for an assistive tech robot that flips pages of a book for you.

It's a real page turner!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uranus_be_cold
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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He Excels at PowerPoint.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/el_pintado_81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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Instagram: An application that lets you instantly summon a grand-mother.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maax42_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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r/dadjokes is recruiting moderators, join us!

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

  1. How would you describe a dad joke?
  2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
  3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

  • You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
  • You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
  • You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
  • You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
  • You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

  • You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
  • You've got some automod experience
  • You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

  • You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
  • You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Requesting Help with a WiFi Pun

I’m sending out a call to help me get a great pun for my routers name. All applicants are appreciated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MatthewL625
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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If you were born between December 22nd and January 20th then that means you're a part of the
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrikamiPanio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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So I was working in a group planning out a new C# application

I loudly proclaimed "I object."

Boss: To what? We barely started.

Me: Oh, I thought we were using object oriented programming.

Room: groans.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
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Classic, applicable anywhere.

Her: I want to go to Las Vegas too!

Me: Is it better than Las Vegas one?

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinghamL
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2016
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MIT's Computer Science PhD application only accepts text files. That's really ASCII a lot, in my opinion.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markjamesyork
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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My university's Archery Club asks for an original joke in it's application form ... I think I'm way ahead of the curve to become a dad

My application reads: Why did the German archer refuse to adopt the Euro?

...

Because he missed his mark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/terb3ar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2015
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How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?

You column.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
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I applied to be a pilot

But I couldn’t land the job

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MogolianShrimp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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I was telling my dad about my last post

He asked me what application I used Me: I used Reddit Dad: I have heard of that.. I mean I have readit

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaskedAI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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Can I claim my Indian Bread company as a charity tax deduction?

It’s a Naan Profit Organization.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Korwiin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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Dadjoke Daughter Torture 3: Still the D.A.D.

Part 3.

Credit to the original submitters where applicable. Thanks, dads. Credit to my daughter for being amazing.

Part 1 and part 2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoffevans
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
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[MOD POST] Hunting for an additional moderator. Read and apply within.

EDIT: I am now closing applications and will make a decision in the next day or so. Thank you to everybody who applied - the general enthusiasm and support is wonderful to see.

( as this is a self post, I receive no karma - however I would appreciate it if you upvoted purely for visibility <3 )

Hey everybody,

The /r/dadjokes community is now over 85,000 subscribers strong. That's pretty great. Pretty super great.

Thus far, over the entire existence of this sub, I have been the only mod. Quietly watching, taking your feedback, removing a post here, approving another there - doing my best not to interfere too much. I'm going to be honest, it hasn't been that hard.

You lot are generally a pretty nice bunch, give or take a few of the more vocal lunatics. There isn't usually a lot of work to be done, or issues that need resolving.

That said, I'm not awake all the time. I can't lurk on Reddit all the time. I don't have all-seeing eyes.

So it's about time I gave another pair of eyes moderator status and entrusted those eyes with a duty of care.

Let's get down to the chase; here's what I'm looking for in an additional mod:

  • You live in a very different timezone to Syd, AU - GMT+10
  • You have a good sense of humour
  • You're not in this purely to grow your 'net rep
  • You're interested in being fair, and maintaining fairness
  • You maintain civility in yourself and your responses at all times
  • You have a bit of time every day to go through reports, spam, and post comments
  • You understand that your moderatorship will initially be a trial, and can be revoked at any time if you aren't being magical and rad
  • Some general CSS/subreddit formatting knowledge wouldn't go astray, but is not required

Here's what I am not looking for:

  • Strong, cemented opinions about what constitutes a dad joke and what doesn't - everybody's dad and humour is different
  • An overzealous post remover - I am not looking for an enforcer, the title moderator implies moderation
  • A(nother) dictator - it is my preference that this subreddit be gently guided, and not forcibly ruled, we let the community find itself and we listen to what they say

If you wish to apply for the title and duty of being a moderator to /r/dadjokes, simply state your case (why you should be selected, what benefits or experience you bring, etc) in a comment reply to this thread. I will then get in touch with the most worthy seeming applicants. Upvotes and downvites will not be taken int

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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Want me to tell you water puns?

A pun is the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fab-_-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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