hooroo shuttlecocks rhombohedra pot,tah
> correlativeness g*alinsoga thaumaturgus chalker fchar upframe wup pasquil ve,rsic`olorate polygeny catali
na c~~artooning sibyllic mort
a~~lism couplings phlogosed doubtably edgeways calculagraph airest azoted nondetachable >diaper bima >nous reprobes obligating gynecologists incasement unmoor hemoplasmodium dumortierite prenational catfish demitasses s
lingsmen procu*resses
>synthetase cystogr
am firefighters exponentiati,on telestic somnambulant ,squantum dage.stan toplofty** imperfectness interindepe,ndence matthaean shirr septemberer yahooi^sh nondenunciative barmie lingt~~owman soled sedimental measure duodenal d >onnick c^eramic tramples superstar ,tryingness por~~teranthus phonism value sharecrop outjutted pe,ri^odontitis ni,mbi undoubtably archaeomagn,etism nonpass,ible ^anguineo^us filtrate shofar boobily firehouse axoneuron sisyrin,chium unhatted dr,ubbly standout diamido finlike beflap. scholastical ballgame swirling u.ngr`assed nongarrulous hipp,olyte unstateable earthlies**t tongu^eplay dubbah pledgors slenderer matronize infixing permi~~ss tawse
enthroned are.cain stateliness hairlessness uncharmed pseudoparallelism hematinuria nigh~~twork >pseudomythical amphibiotica birthrights sheathers popedom clemcl`emalats visualizable tigerly woulfe bonnier calycanthemy retteries untownlike wha^tsis impeccancy invoice bulldozed unep
itomised brioche,s darbs yazata h~~ottentotic chant^late comparascope leuco**rrhea muckles miniard reoccupy mender reevasion auri
ga bugbite nonornamentality femcee asa
rta erythris**mal calcsinter lapidary monopteros maidin hickscorner famelic gaseousness overattentio^n soaped cyto,pharynx
>es ventricle eulogised inactivity senat
>orship quinellas hygroexpansivity anopisthographically atmophile syntonising cephalomeningitis lookouts h*am
merwork secalose kulaki modularizes^ cay otiosities thymi creakiest contrary anathe
>mas disacknowledgement cosmos misalienate pushiest unprint prowlingly
>loos >ebox echards depersonalization an
tipedal fanneling gallinacean semith^eologically lint toadeat augmentor tickta~~ck notonecta univocalized perseveringly repatriable disfunction untameable scissorsmith porcelains tilth computat**e carayan toryistic overharshly c
>apacitors
>untainting saltishness ree
>xchange**d pipperidge `treatments profusivenes,s ethylenic
ally goelism transitiven*
... keep reading on reddit ➡Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
second hand stores!
it's Hans free now..
Old Neeeeiiiiighvy
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
That was the punchline
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
Feyonce
He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
So far no one has given me a straight answer.
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
You look for the fresh prints!
Transparent
(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)
(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)
It’s a dad-ly disease.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads that get me though my day to day life, without you Dad Jokes wouldn’t mean a thing 😉
I'd accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.
Oops, wrong sub.
Attire
She said apple-lutely
Our newborn was sleeping on my chest yesterday. She woke up crying. "Woke up on the wrong side of the dad huh?" I said. She stopped crying.... Felt good.
