Algebra 2 puns

My social life is like 0 - 4i: complex and imaginary.

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π€︎ u/5Dimensional
π︎ Dec 09 2019
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My Algebra 2 teacher is the king of dad jokes.

Just today, as class was ending and everyone was waiting for the bell, a student asked him if he had any daughters. He then said "Not on me, no" and maintained eye contact with astonishing conviction. He's great.

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π€︎ u/Fuck-It-I-Tried
π︎ Nov 01 2014
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What kind of bra would you get for a mermaid?

An algebra

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π€︎ u/stripedleopard626
π︎ May 22 2021
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π€︎ u/grumfumblus
π︎ Oct 07 2019
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My 9-month-old ate part of her sister's math homework.

Now we're waiting to see if she passes algebra.

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π€︎ u/DragonHeinie
π︎ Dec 25 2020
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This guy (showing off his tan lines) will be a great dad in the future
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π€︎ u/madhoe
π︎ Oct 13 2013
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What is a ghostβs favorite math subject?

Boo-lean Algebra

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π€︎ u/Shmarfle47
π︎ Sep 23 2020
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For math lovers and others to
1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? HeΒ must be plotting something.

7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasnβt greater than or less than anyone else.

8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

9. What do you call a number that canβt stay in one place? A Roaminβ numeral.

10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

12. Iβll do algebra, Iβll do trig. Iβll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because sheβll go on and on and on forever.

14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? Itβs a shame theyβll never meet.

15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

16. Whatβs the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? Theyβd stop at nothing to avoid them.

18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where itβs always 90 degrees.

19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because youβre supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

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π€︎ u/InvestWithArihant
π︎ Aug 20 2020
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Theres only 1 bra I think about

Algebra

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π€︎ u/Skitty_Lord
π︎ Oct 05 2020
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really donβt know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you donβt overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you donβt stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, βDonβt be a fool, stay in school!β

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

βPunβ puns donβt add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

Iβll do algebra. Iβll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Donβt take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you donβt have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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π€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
π︎ May 16 2019
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What did little mermaid buy from Lingerie dept.?

Algebra

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π︎ Aug 27 2018
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Puns for Educated Minds
1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy itβs your vote that counts. In feudalism itβs your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, Iβm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you canβt have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, Iβve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, Iβm positive.

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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π€︎ u/FreshFocusPhoto
π︎ Jun 26 2015
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What do female variables wear?

AlgeBras

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π€︎ u/zanman28
π︎ Sep 12 2018
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Whatβs a mathematicianβs favorite undergarment?

Algebra.

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π€︎ u/alexmck4
π︎ Sep 21 2018
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At a beerfest...

...I randomly asked "quick algebra question: if I have 10p divided by 5p, what do I have?"

confused looks, not knowing where I'm going

"Um, 2p?"

"Correct, I have to pee."

stares of borderline disgust

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π€︎ u/confibulator
π︎ Oct 19 2014
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Dadjoked by a math textbook.

This is just in the middle of a chapter and isn't even acknowledged by the surrounding passages. It's pretty baaad if you ask me. But really, thanks to this picture I will never forget what a shear transformation does.

Textbook is Linear Algebra and Its Applications by David C. Lay, since for some reason I feel like I should probably cite it.

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π€︎ u/tananda7
π︎ Nov 20 2014
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Algebra.

My friend thinks that algebra 2 is complex, but I think he's just imagining things.

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π€︎ u/TrollfaceTooPro
π︎ May 08 2014
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A friend of mine got his son with an eye-roller

He was helping his son (7th grade) with some Pre-Algebra homework:

Dad: "What does 5Q+5Q equal?"

Son: "10Q?"

Dad: "You're welcome! Anytime!"

The eye-roll was strong with that one.

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π€︎ u/justinerwin
π︎ Nov 03 2015
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I didn't even know he knows geometry...

I got home after failing an algebra exam and I told my dad "I'm gonna get acute depression if I see a proof one more time."

He said to me "You would get obtuse depression if you were doing the math we did in my days."

Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse.

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π€︎ u/ivanruvi
π︎ Sep 28 2016
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We were talking about Algebra last night.

We were talking about the use of algebra since leaving school.

Me: "But why do we need to know algebra?!" Him: "Because 'Why' equals something."

With the biggest grin on his face.

Hur hur hur.

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π€︎ u/BlahYourHamster
π︎ May 11 2015
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How mathematicians break up...

Initially inspired by a joke I heard elsewhere on the Internet but I took it a step farther. Hint: there are several hidden puns (at least 6)

Dear Algebra, Stop asking me to find your X. As to the reason she left, we'll never know Y. She probably never fancied your green bra. Maybe it's a sin that she wants a distant relationship. But have no fear, as she spans higher dimensions for true love, she'll look far and wide, for she lives on the edge. She'll soon realize that she's not so significant after all.

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π€︎ u/jgbradley1
π︎ May 19 2015
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Algebra teachers

In algebra two we are learning about arc length, circumference, and pi.

Student: So...who made pi?

Teacher: Betty Crocker.

I was the only that laughed and the entire class had the most confused look on their faces.

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π€︎ u/ego_max
π︎ Apr 10 2014
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Algebra 2 puns

My social life is like 0 + 4i. Complex and imaginary.

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π€︎ u/5Dimensional
π︎ Dec 09 2019
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My grandpa sent me this email. King of dad jokes.
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

edit: formatting

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π€︎ u/mattybreit
π︎ Apr 20 2014
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