Bread/Alcohol Pun Thread reddit.com/r/pics/comment…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goatsgomoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2011
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What happens when you mix alcohol and literature?

Tequila mockingbird

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belizzb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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An alcoholic wakes up in jail and asks the nearest officer why he's there

"For excessive drinking" the officer replies So the prisoner replies "Great, when do we start?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Why was the dog an alcoholic?

Because he had a ruff past.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmort1996
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems

But neither does juice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunny_McShoot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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I abuse alcohol.

Do i really abuse or Aboooze it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArmedSweeping
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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I bought a car that runs on alcohol instead of gas

It has a tonic engine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/riWHATulous
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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I bought an alcoholic ginger beer today.

He wasn't happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knightysays
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Which alcoholic drink can give you the illusion that you're hurt?

Sham-pain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitiamedved
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Did you hear about the dangerous alcoholic who consumed his booze from a sizzling Chinese frying pan?

He liked to drink risky on the woks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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Doctor: "Alcoholism is a disease. "

Bartender: "Get your shots here !!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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If alcohol can damage your short term memory

Imagine the damage alcohol can do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nav_the_gamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Why did the alcoholic rooster keep running around in circles?

It was chasing after a cocktail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealitiesOfWar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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After a really bad experience with alcohol, I gave up drinking altogether.

Now I just drink alone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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Marine iguana's should be as legal as alcohol!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hello_stranger-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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I'm fine with alcohol and weed, but cocaine is where I draw the line !
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.

Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BetterThanOP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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My dad was an alcoholic who wanted to be a lawyer

He could never pass the bar

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Where does a Canadian alcoholic go to get help?

Eh Eh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomedew
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Clearing a windscreen
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiestjE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Some people have an addiction to alcohol, some to drugs.

Mine was to sandpaper. It was wearing me down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Why are all ghosts considered alcoholics?

Because they take Boos everywhere they go!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Photographer_Rob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol....

He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles...

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

My dad told me this a few months ago. And he loves to remind me of it every week. It is his dadiest dad joke. It makes him so happy and that makes me happy. Hope it made some of you smile!

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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I've been told I'm an alcoholic....

I decided to drink about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Why can’t alcoholics become lawyers?

Because they can never just pass a bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meatfish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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My horses have started to make alcohol

It's called eq-wine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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On my ochem exam i was asked what IPA (isopropyl alcohol) was used for

My answer: Stress relief

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arakashi_moku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Did you hear the alcoholic skydiver is feeling unwell

He's coming down with a cold one

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Why did the Mexican alcohol manufacturer chuck his wife off a cliff?

TEQUILA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/argotrevor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?

Sir Ohsis of the Liver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you call alcoholics anonymous in Canada?

Eh eh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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What do alcoholic horses drink?

Chardonhay... πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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My doctor said I should drink alcohol in moderation. I don't think I can control my drinking...

... but it's worth a shot!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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What happened to the alcoholic gymnast?

They were prone to rolling blackouts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCochMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Why are ghosts alcoholics?

They drink too much booo-ze

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vapid_Potato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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What's the difference between a sneaky alcoholic and a clumsy plastic surgeon?

One takes a nip of the tipple, the other takes the tip off a nipple.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Alcoholics don’t run in my family

But sometimes they fall down the stairs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol

Its bird-gin-ing research.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kelaab
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What do you get when you mix alcohol with pressure in a small space?

BARFITE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-ion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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If coffee comes from coffee beans, where does alcohol come from?

Jim Beans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombieboy97k
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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If alcohol can damage your short term memory

Just think what alcohol can do!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Doctor: "Alcoholism is a disease. "

Barman: "Get your shots here."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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