What do you call a man abstaining?

Humphrey.

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📅︎ Apr 25 2020
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Happy Ending

A guy walks into a bar on Ash Wednesday and orders a beer. "I'm really having a hard time trying to decide what to give up for Lent," he tells the bartender. "Well let me tell you a little cautionary tale about giving things up for Lent," the bartender says. "A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition. This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow... "

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👤︎ u/frudedude
📅︎ Feb 18 2021
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My wife always said she believes in abstaining from sex before marriage...

The way things are going, I now think she meant her second marriage.

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📅︎ Jun 20 2019
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James Bond is currently abstaining from sex so that he can have multiple orgasms.

Double O saving.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jun 02 2019
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Why did the bodybuilder pour wine on his stomach rather than drink it?

He was trying to abstain from alcohol

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📅︎ Jul 24 2019
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If I don't dye your stomach area...

You could say that I am abstaining from ab staining...

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📅︎ Jul 11 2018
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What kind of glass does the Pope's car have?

Abstained glass.

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👤︎ u/Zotoaster
📅︎ Jan 05 2019
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My friend keeps getting upset at my wordplay.

I think I'll abstain from it tomorrow as punnance.

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👤︎ u/Iam_Kira
📅︎ Oct 25 2016
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I just met a handsome monk...

I just met a handsome monk. He has spent his life abstaining from carnal pleasure. I found him ascetic-ically pleasing.

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📅︎ Feb 01 2018
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Human interest for 2021 Lent

A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition.

This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow...

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👤︎ u/drzowie
📅︎ Feb 17 2021
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