What do you call an eel in love?
Did you hear about the two horses that fell in love?
They are now in a stable relationship.
You have dogs. You love them. You feed them everyday. But what if one day you suddenly die? Who will feed them?
If you love Christmas so much
What do you do for a tortoise that was falling in love but now is only falling apart?
Nothing you can do, it’s a turtle eclipse of the heart
You know what I love about these emojis 👍🏾🙌🏾👎🏾👏🏾🤝🏾🤞🏾✌🏾🤘🏾👌🏾👉🏾👈🏾?
They always come in handy.
What do you call a psychic and a vampire in love?
You know that look a woman gives you when she really, really wants to make love with you?
An open letter to my supportive wife: ever since I turned invisible it's been very apparent that you still love me. You've driven me to all the doctor appts, helped me talk to the baffled scientists and given me emotional support...
... everyone can see that you're behind me, 100%
What do you call someone who pretends to love classical music?
You know what I love about elevator jokes?
They're funny on so many different levels
I would love to tell you my secret recipe for my famous Indian flatbread, but first:
I'll need you to sign a naan-disclosure agreement.
"How do you want to die?" She asked, standing over me with the weapon in her hand. "Making love." I replied.
Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced. “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?” Bill beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work..."
"Suzie was so thrilled to have me around, that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
What do you get when you meet the love of your life?
Did you hear about the wick maker and the woodworker who fell in love in the afterlife?
It was a match made in heaven.
I'd love to tell you that all duvets are thicker than quilts
But my wife hates it when I make blanket statements.
Did you hear about the couple that fell in love at an orchard?
They lived appley ever after.
People love to travel to Amsterdam to get stoned. But there’s another place you can go…
I'm starting a new YouTube nature themed channel about various molds and fungi and would love this group's support!
I love Chinese buffets. All you can eat...
You know why I love K-pop
Hey babe, do you love old bread?
Yes because you stale my heart
You know what’s the best thing about falling in love with a Light?
Did you know Alaskan sled dogs love metal music?
You’ll often see them in mush pits
I love words. For exemple, do you know whats special about penis?
Even though it's a 5 letter word, for some, it is a mouthful.
Honeydew you love me?
Yes, but we cantaloupe. But don’t worry, berry soon we will make a great pear.
Why do horses love watching YouTube videos?
Do you know how to make a gamer girl fall in love with you ?
It’s pretty simple: get close to her, take her by the hands, smile, look into her eyes and say…
…”Wololo !”.
It's easy to fall in love with a taser if it hits you
They really are quite stunning
A phrase I've come to love using: "You know... one bird, two stones".
The best is when someone picks up on the "mistake" and asks, "Don't you mean two birds, one stone?"
"Nope, I meant 'one bird, two stones'. The second stone is to be sure."
Wife: I love you darling, but I can't stand your obsession with Irish rock-bands.
Do you know why I love sign language?
It always comes in handy!
A woman was sipping a glass of wine while relaxing with her husband... "I love you so much, she said, I don't know how I could live without you:
Her husband asked, "is that you or the wine talking"?
She replied "it's me, talking to the wine"
I'd love to wish you a happy Morse code day,
What do you call the people who only love Hulu, and no other streaming service?
The Hulucination
(Get it, because they don't exist!)
did you hear about the two bedbugs that fell in love ?
they're getting married in the spring
I love her Trent. She's mine, you can't Haverz
How many times should you tell someone you love them?
I really love pickles and olives. In fact, you could say
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
If you love Christmas so much...
What do you call an eel in love?
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