If youโre happy and you know it clap your ha- oh.
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︎ Feb 04 2019
Wife just asked "Do we have any antique wax?" "Don't you mean duck repellent?", I said. "Ha... ha... ha." she said.
๐︎ 15
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︎ Oct 09 2018
What do you call a NASA employee that has never reached space?
๐︎ 108
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Do you know Cardi B has a sister whoโs an athletic trainer ?
๐︎ 131
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︎ Nov 15 2020
What do you call a bird that has committed a crime?
๐︎ 17
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Did you hear about the dad who has the world's largest candy cane collection?
They're all in mint condition.
๐︎ 15
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︎ Dec 06 2020
If you think 2020 has been bad,
Remember 2021 will be odd.
๐︎ 60
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︎ Nov 17 2020
What do you say to a woman who has given birth to members of the military?
Thank you for your cervix.
๐︎ 11k
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︎ Jul 23 2020
What do you call a father that has changed gender and is slightly invisible?
๐︎ 6
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Did you hear Hawaii has banned loud laughter?
Yeah, especially when using the same recycled joke 50 million times.
๐︎ 30
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︎ Nov 17 2020
What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
๐︎ 22
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︎ Nov 17 2020
What do you call a cow that has just learned to drive?
๐︎ 17
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︎ Nov 21 2020
What do you call it when Walter White has a bad trip?
๐︎ 2
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Did you know Yoda has a last name?
๐︎ 645
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Essentially, anytime a new toilet is christened you are "Going where no man has gone before."
๐︎ 5
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What do you call a British guy when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent
Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.
๐︎ 6
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︎ Nov 15 2020
What do you call a Dad that has fallen through the ice?
๐︎ 14
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︎ Nov 28 2020
This has been a crazy year. After everything that has happened though do you want to know the one thing that I canโt get over ?
๐︎ 5
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︎ Dec 03 2020
What do you call a Transformer that has broken the law?
๐︎ 5
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Where do you take someone who has been injured in a Peek-A-Boo accident?
๐︎ 100
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︎ Oct 13 2020
What do you call a dad that has changed gender and canโt lie?
๐︎ 2
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︎ Nov 27 2020
What do you call a Teletubbie that has just been mugged?
๐︎ 4
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︎ Nov 20 2020
What do you call it when the whole neighbourhood has tea together?
๐︎ 3
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︎ Nov 16 2020
What do you call a person who makes dad jokes but has no kids?
๐︎ 46
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︎ Oct 02 2020
What do you call a debt whoโs wife has left them?
๐︎ 6
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︎ Oct 14 2020
What do you call a chicken that has a lettuce leaf in its eye?
๐︎ 7
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︎ Nov 05 2020
What do you call a cow that only has two legs
๐︎ 7
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︎ Oct 14 2020
My closet has a weird smell to it. Do you know what mothballs smell like?
Next question. How did you get their little legs to spread?
๐︎ 2
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︎ Nov 09 2020
What do you call a chord that has its third moved up a half-step?
๐︎ 2
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︎ Oct 16 2020
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
๐︎ 10k
๐
︎ Apr 04 2020
What do you call a director who has covid
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Oct 27 2020
What do you call a citrus fruit when it has been crossed with a cat?
๐︎ 5
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︎ Oct 26 2020
What do you call a ladder that has a big penis?
๐︎ 4
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Did you guys know Yoda actually has a last name?
Yeah, it's actually Yoda Layheeho.
๐︎ 63
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︎ Aug 15 2020
What do you call a Stick Figure that has been going to the gym?
๐︎ 15
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︎ Sep 15 2020
What do you call a Nose that has a job as a Health Inspector?
A Scenter for Disease Control.
๐︎ 3
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︎ Oct 19 2020
A wild bridge has ambushed you
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︎ Aug 16 2020
How do you know if someone has an iPhone?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
๐︎ 8
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︎ Oct 06 2020
My wife has just gave birth at the hospital. I pulled the doctor away for a minute and asked "how soon do you think we will be able to have sex?"
He thought about it for a bit and said "I am off-duty in 10mins, meet me in the car park"
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︎ Aug 06 2020
What do you get when a cow has Parkinsons?
๐︎ 20
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
If so, you may be entitled to condensation.
๐︎ 184
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︎ Jun 17 2020
Did you know Cardi B has a sister whoโs a fitness instructor?
๐︎ 66
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︎ Oct 30 2020
What do you call a man when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play.
๐︎ 8
๐
︎ Nov 12 2020
Whats green has 6 legs and if it fell out of a tree on top of you it would kill you.
๐︎ 25
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︎ Oct 06 2020
Whatโs big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls on you out of a tree?
๐︎ 133
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Where do you take someone who has been the victim of a Peek-a-boo accident?
๐︎ 21
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Did you know that Yoda has a last name?
๐︎ 16
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︎ Sep 19 2020
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