Punstoppable
A list of puns related to "You'll Be in My Heart"
Why didnāt the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
Whats green and smells like bacon? Ā Kermit the Frogās finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Ā Kevin Bacon
If you canāt get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, youāre bacon my heart melt.
What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.
First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trumpās cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.
Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.
If Kevin Bacon doesnāt whisper āHere comes the Baconatorā before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost
Iāll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge thatās not bacon
If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?
This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.
If we donāt build a wall on our northern border, theyāll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.
I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.
My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaverā¦because Iām Canadian.
When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know youāre getting extr
... keep reading on reddit ā”Why couldnāt the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
For Halloween Iām going to write āLifeā on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
This Halloween, the only Candy Iām interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
āHalloweenā = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
Iāll be your trick if youāll be my treat.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
Whatās a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A āhollow-weenie!ā
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).
How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.
Iām going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always doā¦ by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, āA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?ā The other monster replied, āBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.
The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something youāre not will lead to a sweet reward.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, itās Election night.
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so Iām dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.
What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What do Italianās eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)
Why canāt the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when theyāre hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope itās Halloween!!
What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.
My dad has this habit of pretending he didn't hear what you said, and then "repeating" it. Like if I said I was going to see an art show, he'll say, "You're going to a FART show? I had no idea you'd have any interest in that!" Lots of jokes along those lines, amongst others.
When I was younger I would laugh because he was kinda funny, and also to make him happy, but as I've gotten older I laugh not JUST because he's funny (in a corny way) but because the fact he still makes these jokes makes me so happy and really warms my heart. My mom is physically disabled, my dad has a bunch of health issues, we've all suffered terribly at times because of all this illness. And no matter how bad it gets, my dad is always there trying his hardest to put a smile on other people's faces and to lighten the mood a bit with his jokes. I've always been the type of girl to mope and be depressed when things are hard, but as I've gotten older I've tried to be more like my old man because I think it's something really special and admirable and selfless about stepping outside of your own negativity to give others something to laugh at or smile about. My dad is such a fuckin hero, I love him so much, and I can't imagine how unbearable this world would seem at times without him trying to make us all laugh.
So to all you dads telling your corny dad jokes, don't ever stop. Your kids and wife might groan or roll their eyes, but inside they love their corny old man and appreciate the goofy puns and fart jokes you tell!
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