Wrestle 1 Puns

No but I’ll wrestle you for them.

Me, pointing at his food: Wanna box for that?

Random dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.

A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg, asking “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”

The sailor then pointed to the pirate’s eyepatch, again asking “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, a bird flew by and shat in me eye.”

The sailor responded with “That’s not as impressive as the first two”.

“Aye, it was me first day with me hook.”

I said, "No but I'll wrestle you for them."

I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store. I said "Did you guys see that woman out there?" They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door. I turn and see she caught her arm on fire.

The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!

After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket. Turns out she didn't have a license for that firearm.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

“Yes of course” replied Trevor

I told her “No I would rather wrestle for it”.

I replied, "No thanks, I'd rather wrestle for it!"

I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."

Therapist: So you could say.. you had to wrestle mania?

I said: “I’d rather wrestle for it”.

Dad: No. But I'll wrestle you for it!

Just before we paid the check at a restaurant, our waitress saw we had some leftovers and asked my dad "you wanna box for that?"

He replied "Nah, I would rather wrestle".

"I'm not much of a boxer, but I'll wrestle you for them."

My Dad, every time: "I'm not a very good boxer... but I'll wrestle you for it."

I recall from my youth, a time of great adventure. My friends and I on safari hunting the Great North-American Man-Eating Female Butt-Ox.

The hunt was difficult and expensive. Once one has been identified as an acceptable specimen you need to slow its wits and dull its decision making process. This is best accomplished with loud music, flashing lights and alcohol. But even then the hunt can be foiled by rushing in to early. If you're successful, you then need to separate it from the pack. This is the trickiest bit as less than ideal pack members will often fight ruthlessly to "protect" your target.

But even the most successful outings are not without risk. On several occasions I found myself entangled in a wrestling match for hours. But there lies the fruit of the hunt...

I need a PG13 Or lower pun for wrestling for a yearbook subheader. Help plz

There is profanity. However, pro- is short professional, and very few people actually cuss for a living (like maybe rappers, boxing/wrestling announcers and comedians). I'm sure nobody is getting paid when they stub their toe and let out a big long string of cuss words.

My dad is the king of dadjokes, especially in public. His specialty is bantering with waitresses. The other day we were finishing dinner at a restaurant, and dad still had quite a bit of food on his plate. The waitress came up and said, "Do you wanna box?" to which he replied, "No, but we could wrestle a few rounds." :)

One wrestles bears, the other barely rustles.

Waitress - Walks up to table, "You guys all finished?"

Me - "Yes"

Waitress - "You wanna box for the leftovers?"

Me - "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."

after the guy put my paint on the counter he asks, "do you wanna box for that?"

I replied, "no but I'll wrestle you for it".

So my brother is a policeman and last night got a call about a stolen washing machine...

So he goes to it, ridiculous argument insues between the two parties then a slight wrestling match from my brother and the accuser and he gets nicked. So then my mum asks him

"What about the washing machine? Did the other man steal it?"

my dad replies instantly:

"It made a clean getaway"

I can't wait to have kids so my brain work the same way...

Because he might Pikachu!

I used to get to do these all the times. When the drawer got stuck I would wrestle the obstruction inside blocking it and exclaim that this would not be a problem if we just had a lesser cheese grater...I began to love bombing there for a while. Ah...

Edit- no one got the grater joke then either, don't feel bad. but it was on the spot so it didn't need all the setup i ruined here. Try this for your brains: Our drawers often had a lot of utensils and stuff in them, and some of it was also big, like the cheese grater. That would get jostled and end up on top of a fork pile or whatever and be up high enough in the drawer to keep the thing from opening, ie the drawer would open to where the grater hit the back of it and jam the works up, right? the grater was too great. i needed a lesser grater so the drawer wouldnt get jammed. Did that help?

When someone doesn't finish their food. The waiter/waitress inevitably asks,"You wanna' box for that?" To which my dad responds, "no, but I'll wrestle yah for it!"

Made an account just to share this. My dad is paraplegic--he broke his neck at a college wrestling tournament when he was 19. There's a story my mom always tells about him that just sums up how he can be so lighthearted even in the darkest of circumstances.

During his long stay at the hospital immediately after his injury, a nurse checks in on him, making sure his condition hasn't gotten any worse.

She asks, "Can you hear okay?"

He says, totally deadpan, "No, I can see fine."

Even then, lying in a hospital bed after a life-altering injury, my dad couldn't give up an opportunity to make someone laugh.

Whenever the server would ask my dad for a box for left over food, he would reply with "No but I'll wrestle you for it"

customer to wife: "do you wanna box or would you rather wrestle?"

wife: "that's not even funny"

Waiter: Wanna a box for your leftovers? Dad: No, but I'll wrestle you for the bill.

At the end of every meal The waitress would ask "do you wanna box for that?" His reply would be "well, I'm not that good at boxing... Do you wanna wrestle for it instead?"

... He didn't finish all of his food

Waiter: "Do you want a box for your meal?"

Dad: "No, I'd rather wrestle, boxing is too violent"

Waitress: do you wanna boslx for that? Dad: no, but I'll wrestle you for it!

Me: no. But I’ll wrestle you for them!

Dad: No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.

No, but I'll wrestle you over them.

So I said, "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."

I told her I’d rather wrestle her for it instead

No, but I’ll wrestle you for them!

No. But I'll wrestle you for them.

Me: No, but I'll wrestle you for them.

Dad: No, but I'll wrestle you for them.

I replied,”no, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”

Waitress: Do you wanna box for that?

Dad: No, I'd rather wrestle!

No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.

Dad: No, but I'll wrestle for it

Dad: I am not to good at boxing but I'll wrestle for it.

No but I’ll wrestle you for them. Haha

Waitress: "Would you like to box your food?"

Dad: "No, but I'll wrestle you for the check"