The dean of women at an exclusive girl’s college was lecturing her students on Sexual morality......

“In moments of temptation,” said the speaker to the class, “ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?”A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: “How do you make it last an hour?”

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👤︎ u/RickySan65
📅︎ Sep 27 2022
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Dad asks why are college students so interested in women these days...

A lot of them are studying a broad.

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👤︎ u/Josiah425
📅︎ Jan 10 2016
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I once new a guy who was good at magic

When he was really young, he was the best magician I’ve ever seen. People came to see this first grader do all sorts of magic. Cutting women in half, floating on air, turning roses into doves, the works.

But as he got older, he started to loose his touch. He couldn’t turn flowers into birds when he hit 8th grade. He stopped being able to float as a freshman. When he graduated, he could barely find a quarter in your ear.

I bumped into him one day after he came home from graduating college. He was working as an architect now. I asked him what happened to all that magic? How come he couldn’t keep it going?

He put his arm around me and said, “the way I see it, it was all tricks. And tricks are for kids”

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📅︎ May 13 2022
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Bill the WalMart Greeter

Bill retires, having worked for the same employer for 34 years, after graduating from college. After a year, the inactivity starts to get to him. So, he goes and gets a job as a greeter at WalMart. Everyone loves him. Kids behave in the store, women remark at what a gentleman he is, little old ladies say he is gallant, even the employees are more productive after walking in past Bill every morning. The only problem is, Bill is late… Every, Single, day. The Manager covers for him as long as he can, but finally HR decrees that bill has to click in on time, or go.

So, the manager sits down with Bill, and says.. Bill.. everyone likes you, and you do a great job. But you’re late every day. Bill Replies.. ‘yea, I am, I Guess I could try to work on that.’ The manager asks ‘Bill, what did they say when you were late at your last job?’

Bill thinks for a minute, and replies ‘Good Morning, Admiral, would you like a cup of coffee, sir?’

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📅︎ Dec 24 2021
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Fish Puns

Within animal puns, we provide you the funniest bundle of fish puns

What did the fish say when he posted bail? “I’m off the hook!”


Why don’t fish like basketball? Cause they’re afraid of the net


Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!


What do you call a fish with a tie? soFISHticated


What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan shark!


How do you make an Octopus laugh? With ten-tickles


Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!


Why don’t fish play basketball? Because there afraid of the net.


What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.


What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna


Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.


What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.


Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her? To fish for compliments.


What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? Good morning ladies.


What did the salmon say when he swam into a wall? Damn!


Whats the best way to catch a fish? Have some one thow it at you.


How do you make a fish laugh? Tell a whale of a tale.


What happens when you drink like a fish? You piss like a fire hose.


Did you know the Octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink? Just Squidding.


What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!


What did the fish say when he posted bail? “I’m off the hook!”


Why don’t fish like basketball? Cause they’re afraid of the net


Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!


What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan shark!


How do you make an Octupus laugh? With ten-tickles


Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!


Why don’t fish play basketball? Because there afraid of the net.


What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.


What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna


Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.


What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.


Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Punsville
📅︎ Apr 30 2017
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