No it was with a knife.
Seems like a misleading name..
On Oct. 29, 2019, the world lost a legend. Esteemed actor and comedian, John "Pops" Witherspoon, passed away at the age of 77. After making his acting debut on The Richard Pryor Show in 1977, Witherspoon starred in cultural classics like Good Times, House Party, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Bebe's Kids, Boomerang, Soul Plane, I Got the Hook-Up, The Wayans Bros, all three of the revered Friday movies and many more. https://4ormypeople.com/mood/2019/10/30/rip-john-pops-witherspoon
Jim: Did you hear that Reece Whats-her-name died while eating a bowl of soup?
Joe: No way! Witherspoon???
Jim: Yes, of course.
Witherspoon
ME: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
ME: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
ME: No, it was with a knife...
My mom stares at me confused and then gets angry, while my dad grins from ear to ear, with a single tear of pride.
Joke teller: “it was Reese... ohh what was her name..Reese..”
Person: “Witherspoon?!”
Joke teller: “No I just told you it was with her fork!”
I work a cancer hospital and schedule patients for surgery and procedures and stuff. I had this one couple who I knew I would like as soon as they sat down. The first thing the man says to me “you wanna hear a joke?” Me “ah, of course!” ....a few moments of silence go by... dad “did you hear about that actress? I think she played in miss congeniality? It was Reese something? She committed suicide.” Totally buying the story I go, “are you serious!? Reese Witherspoon!?” And with out a beat he says “No, with a knife.” And I looked at him for a few seconds to comprehend the joke and then lost it! I know this is probably old but it’s a classic.
Witherspoon?
Dad: I assume so, but nobody knows for sure
Looking for some Celebrity Christmas puns such as "Wreath Witherspoon," "Spruce Willis," "Judy Garland."
A gasping audience: Witherspoon?! Dad: No, it was with a knife
Us having a pure hear-say conversation until this point:
Him: "Yeah, no, suicide rates are definitely going up in celebrities. They were awhile before Robins died actually."
Me: "Oh?"
Him: "Yeah. Just recently, some girl stabbed herself in her trailer's kitchenette. She was in Walk the Line, blonde blue eyes an-"
Me: "Reese Witherspoon?"
Him: "No, with a knife."
Me: "..."
You win this time.
We're talking about actors and he goes "hear about that poor actress who was recently stabbed in NY?....Reese....Reese...." Stupidly I reply "Witherspoon!?"
He happily proclaims: "No! With a Knife!"
Dad: Hey did you hear that famous actress was murdered yesterday?!
Me: No way which one??
Dad: Uhhh, Reese...Reese...Reese...
Me: Reese Witherspoon?!?
Dad: No with a knife!!!!!!
ME: Hey, did you hear about the celebrity who got stabbed at a restaurant?
New Friend: No! Who was it?
ME: Reese... Reese...something...
NF: Witherspoon?
ME: No, no, it was with a knife...
It was a dark and blustery Friday night. My wife and I were doubling with my sister and brother in-law at a delicious BBQ joint. Bro in-law (Jordan) asked us if we were up on the latest celebrity gossip.
Jordan - Did you hear about the actress who killed her husband?!
Us - what? No! Who?
Jordan - Ya! She stabbed him with a knife when he came home. I just can't remember who it was... What was her name?... Reese! Reese something...
Us - Wait! Witherspoon??!
Jordan - No! I just told you. With a knife!
Me- So that actress who was in "Walk The Line" was stabbed and killed last night. Reese, Reese... ummm
Friend- Witherspoon?
Me- No with a knife.
"Did you here about the actress that stabber her husband? Her name was Reese...something, can't remember" "Witherspoon?" "No, with her knife doofus".
I know it's old, but he got me with a dadjoke.
-Witherspoon?!
- no with her knife.
Thanks dad.
"Did you hear about the blonde actress that got stabbed today? I think her name was Reese something.." "Witherspoon??" "No with a knife!"
Hilarity ensued.
I go play Monday night's at a church league, and the whole event is organized by this guy Rob:
Rob: Hey, did you guys hear on the radio today about that celebrity who stabbed her husband?
Us: No, who was it?
Rob: Um, what was her name. Reese...
Us: Witherspoon?!
Rob: No, with her knife
Us: ....
-Her name was Reese, her surname escapes me though... *Witherspoon? -No, with a knife
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Me: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
Friend: Seriously!? Who!?
Me: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
Friend: WITHERSPOON!!??
Me: No, it was with a knife...
Wife: Witherspoon?
Me: No, with a knife.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Kids: Witherspoon? Me: No, with a knife.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife
Me: OMG WHO Dad: i dunno reese somthing Me: WITHERSPOON Dad: no with a knife
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife..
No, not Witherspoon...
With her knife.
Me: Witherspoon?
Sister: No! With a knife!
Mom: Did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband? Me: Realy? Who? Mom: I can't remember her name, it was Reese something... Me: Witherspoon? Mom: No, with her knife
"witherspoon?" "No, with a knife!"
Wife: Witherspoon? Me: No, with a knife.
"Reese Witherspoon?!?
"No. With her knife."
Dad: Did you hear about that actress who was stabbed
Me: No I didn't
Dad: I think her name was Reece something or another
Me: Witherspoon?
Dad: No dumbass, with a knife
Brother: Did you hear about the celebrity that stabbed someone?
Me: No, who was it?
Brother: Reese..Wi, Wither something.
Me: Witherspoon?
Brother: No, with her knife.
