What does Reese Witherspoon call her gun collection?

Reese’s Pieces

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewleckrone
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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Neo met Reese Witherspoon in a hotel room

after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

No it was with a knife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grandcanyon19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Has anyone ever actually seen Reese witherspoon?

Seems like a misleading name..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmshady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Me: Did you hear the actress from legally blonde stabbed her husband with a knife?

Friend: Do you mean Reese Witherspoon?

Me: No, with her knife!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matwantstoknow11
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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My wife: Who ate all the ice cream?

Me: It was my friend Reese.

Her: Huh? how?

Me: Witherspoon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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An urban legend that was revealed on the movie Legally Blonde.

Guy 1: I heard that the main character kept stabbing people on the set filming Legally Blonde. I can't remember her full name. It was Reese..... something. She just kept attacking people one by one but I don't know who it was.

Guy 2: Witherspoon

Guy 1: No...... with her knife. Who would be that stupid to use a spoon to hurt over.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/macman1604
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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My mom falls for this every time I come home

ME: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

ME: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

ME: No, it was with a knife...

My mom stares at me confused and then gets angry, while my dad grins from ear to ear, with a single tear of pride.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimothy_Riggins
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
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Was told the ultimate dad joke today.. (I may be over exaggerating a little)

I work a cancer hospital and schedule patients for surgery and procedures and stuff. I had this one couple who I knew I would like as soon as they sat down. The first thing the man says to me β€œyou wanna hear a joke?” Me β€œah, of course!” ....a few moments of silence go by... dad β€œdid you hear about that actress? I think she played in miss congeniality? It was Reese something? She committed suicide.” Totally buying the story I go, β€œare you serious!? Reese Witherspoon!?” And with out a beat he says β€œNo, with a knife.” And I looked at him for a few seconds to comprehend the joke and then lost it! I know this is probably old but it’s a classic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brooklynne33
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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Did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband with a fork?

Joke teller: β€œit was Reese... ohh what was her name..Reese..”

Person: β€œWitherspoon?!”

Joke teller: β€œNo I just told you it was with her fork!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bayouraised
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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My Dad got me with this one a few years back and I'll never forget it

Dad: Hey did you hear that famous actress was murdered yesterday?!

Me: No way which one??

Dad: Uhhh, Reese...Reese...Reese...

Me: Reese Witherspoon?!?

Dad: No with a knife!!!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jefffbone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
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Sitting on the front porch and my fiancΓ©e's uncle got me good

We're talking about actors and he goes "hear about that poor actress who was recently stabbed in NY?....Reese....Reese...." Stupidly I reply "Witherspoon!?"

He happily proclaims: "No! With a Knife!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dc8291
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2014
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Recent Conversation with my Earth Systems (Geology) Teacher

Us having a pure hear-say conversation until this point:

Him: "Yeah, no, suicide rates are definitely going up in celebrities. They were awhile before Robins died actually."

Me: "Oh?"

Him: "Yeah. Just recently, some girl stabbed herself in her trailer's kitchenette. She was in Walk the Line, blonde blue eyes an-"

Me: "Reese Witherspoon?"

Him: "No, with a knife."

Me: "..."

You win this time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firoaren
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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New Friend Personality Test

ME: Hey, did you hear about the celebrity who got stabbed at a restaurant?

New Friend: No! Who was it?

ME: Reese... Reese...something...

NF: Witherspoon?

ME: No, no, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SledgeHog
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
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The tools of murder!

It was a dark and blustery Friday night. My wife and I were doubling with my sister and brother in-law at a delicious BBQ joint. Bro in-law (Jordan) asked us if we were up on the latest celebrity gossip.

Jordan - Did you hear about the actress who killed her husband?!

Us - what? No! Who?

Jordan - Ya! She stabbed him with a knife when he came home. I just can't remember who it was... What was her name?... Reese! Reese something...

Us - Wait! Witherspoon??!

Jordan - No! I just told you. With a knife!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/austynross
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2015
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Friend dropped this on me yesterday

"Did you here about the actress that stabber her husband? Her name was Reese...something, can't remember" "Witherspoon?" "No, with her knife doofus".

I know it's old, but he got me with a dadjoke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dokturigs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2014
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Got dadjoked by the bartender I work with..

"Did you hear about the blonde actress that got stabbed today? I think her name was Reese something.." "Witherspoon??" "No with a knife!"

Hilarity ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfbrother22
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2014
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Dad-Joked playing basketball tonight

I go play Monday night's at a church league, and the whole event is organized by this guy Rob:

Rob: Hey, did you guys hear on the radio today about that celebrity who stabbed her husband?

Us: No, who was it?

Rob: Um, what was her name. Reese...

Us: Witherspoon?!

Rob: No, with her knife

Us: ....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Pizza_Puncher
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2014
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A famous actress was stabbed last night.

-Her name was Reese, her surname escapes me though... *Witherspoon? -No, with a knife

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ligzilla
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2013
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abhilegend
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanka007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaBear1718
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabagaba62
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I was listening to the radio...

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anon_777
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Got my friend with this one, she was not too happy...

Me: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

Friend: Seriously!? Who!?

Me: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

Friend: WITHERSPOON!!??

Me: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QUACKASAUROS111
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iaxeuanswerme
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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Here it comes....

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JNGamingYT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roblter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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I remembered dad jokes were a thing. Here have one.

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xavier_potato
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markrulez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Actress just killed herself

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadjokeshq
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/virulentt_music
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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An actress just killed herself...

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirdeyebro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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Dad: i was listening to the radio it says some actress killed her self

Me: OMG WHO Dad: i dunno reese somthing Me: WITHERSPOON Dad: no with a knife

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jj121jj
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Why did i do this

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pecketz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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Mom is dad

Mom: Did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband? Me: Realy? Who? Mom: I can't remember her name, it was Reese something... Me: Witherspoon? Mom: No, with her knife

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyTheShyGuy
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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"Did you hear that the actress from Legally Blonde killed someone?"

"Reese Witherspoon?!?

"No. With her knife."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gotem87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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My brother's dad joke he did to me

Brother: Did you hear about the celebrity that stabbed someone?

Me: No, who was it?

Brother: Reese..Wi, Wither something.

Me: Witherspoon?

Brother: No, with her knife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarehMeyod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2014
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