A list of puns related to "Reese Witherspoon"
Reeseβs Pieces
after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither
No it was with a knife.
Seems like a misleading name..
Friend: Do you mean Reese Witherspoon?
Me: No, with her knife!
Me: It was my friend Reese.
Her: Huh? how?
Me: Witherspoon.
Guy 1: I heard that the main character kept stabbing people on the set filming Legally Blonde. I can't remember her full name. It was Reese..... something. She just kept attacking people one by one but I don't know who it was.
Guy 2: Witherspoon
Guy 1: No...... with her knife. Who would be that stupid to use a spoon to hurt over.
ME: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
ME: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
ME: No, it was with a knife...
My mom stares at me confused and then gets angry, while my dad grins from ear to ear, with a single tear of pride.
I work a cancer hospital and schedule patients for surgery and procedures and stuff. I had this one couple who I knew I would like as soon as they sat down. The first thing the man says to me βyou wanna hear a joke?β Me βah, of course!β ....a few moments of silence go by... dad βdid you hear about that actress? I think she played in miss congeniality? It was Reese something? She committed suicide.β Totally buying the story I go, βare you serious!? Reese Witherspoon!?β And with out a beat he says βNo, with a knife.β And I looked at him for a few seconds to comprehend the joke and then lost it! I know this is probably old but itβs a classic.
Joke teller: βit was Reese... ohh what was her name..Reese..β
Person: βWitherspoon?!β
Joke teller: βNo I just told you it was with her fork!β
Dad: Hey did you hear that famous actress was murdered yesterday?!
Me: No way which one??
Dad: Uhhh, Reese...Reese...Reese...
Me: Reese Witherspoon?!?
Dad: No with a knife!!!!!!
We're talking about actors and he goes "hear about that poor actress who was recently stabbed in NY?....Reese....Reese...." Stupidly I reply "Witherspoon!?"
He happily proclaims: "No! With a Knife!"
Us having a pure hear-say conversation until this point:
Him: "Yeah, no, suicide rates are definitely going up in celebrities. They were awhile before Robins died actually."
Me: "Oh?"
Him: "Yeah. Just recently, some girl stabbed herself in her trailer's kitchenette. She was in Walk the Line, blonde blue eyes an-"
Me: "Reese Witherspoon?"
Him: "No, with a knife."
Me: "..."
You win this time.
ME: Hey, did you hear about the celebrity who got stabbed at a restaurant?
New Friend: No! Who was it?
ME: Reese... Reese...something...
NF: Witherspoon?
ME: No, no, it was with a knife...
It was a dark and blustery Friday night. My wife and I were doubling with my sister and brother in-law at a delicious BBQ joint. Bro in-law (Jordan) asked us if we were up on the latest celebrity gossip.
Jordan - Did you hear about the actress who killed her husband?!
Us - what? No! Who?
Jordan - Ya! She stabbed him with a knife when he came home. I just can't remember who it was... What was her name?... Reese! Reese something...
Us - Wait! Witherspoon??!
Jordan - No! I just told you. With a knife!
"Did you here about the actress that stabber her husband? Her name was Reese...something, can't remember" "Witherspoon?" "No, with her knife doofus".
I know it's old, but he got me with a dadjoke.
"Did you hear about the blonde actress that got stabbed today? I think her name was Reese something.." "Witherspoon??" "No with a knife!"
Hilarity ensued.
I go play Monday night's at a church league, and the whole event is organized by this guy Rob:
Rob: Hey, did you guys hear on the radio today about that celebrity who stabbed her husband?
Us: No, who was it?
Rob: Um, what was her name. Reese...
Us: Witherspoon?!
Rob: No, with her knife
Us: ....
-Her name was Reese, her surname escapes me though... *Witherspoon? -No, with a knife
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Me: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
Friend: Seriously!? Who!?
Me: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
Friend: WITHERSPOON!!??
Me: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife
Me: OMG WHO Dad: i dunno reese somthing Me: WITHERSPOON Dad: no with a knife
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife..
Mom: Did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband? Me: Realy? Who? Mom: I can't remember her name, it was Reese something... Me: Witherspoon? Mom: No, with her knife
"Reese Witherspoon?!?
"No. With her knife."
Brother: Did you hear about the celebrity that stabbed someone?
Me: No, who was it?
Brother: Reese..Wi, Wither something.
Me: Witherspoon?
Brother: No, with her knife.
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