I will pun-ish you.
Without her they're ruthless.
No need to remind her every half hour.
Head lice.
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Thanks for the Baghdad!
The Quaranteens
Quaranteens.
because I live in Canada.
I have contacts.
You become transparent
It’s a Minnie marathon.
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Apple juice
I'm now dealing with emotional baggage.
shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
He has gotten the vaccine and now has santybodies
Re: Oh, just you wait...
DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.
They practice squid pro quo.
It's as bad as the last two jokes you heard Combined.
(My son just told me this one 💪)
E: I misspelled "Fibonacci" in title🤦
You look for the fresh prints
Please end My Chauffeuring!
...he will finally get his Masters of Puppets. 🤘
You have my word.
... and why is everybody firing at him?
A pool table.
This can only be achieved if one 'Trumps' the other then they should be done 'Biden'.
Because they were firing at will
https://preview.redd.it/6f55higqzm061.jpg?width=788&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4d6801bbad07681e2a3170834a834e02b1e4d07
...they will be subma-weiners.
He's very uncomfortable with the phrase "fire at will"
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
You know the drill
rick ash-tree
Then you'll all be sorry.
But they definitely know how to ride
Edit: First time post here, just felt like horsing around
shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
Easy. Just look for fresh prints.
