There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
My friend inherited a deciduous forest with 2 oak trees that was poorly taken care of. It needed TLC!
The greenhouse spruced it up for him.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
What do you call your ex from Maryland?
No one will listen to White Snake with me
SO here I go again on my own
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
What did Snow White say after dropping off a roll of film to get developed?
Someday my prints will come
This morning Siri said "don't call me Shirley"
I'd accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.
Yesterday I spotted an albino dalmatian
It was the least I could do for him
What’s black and white and eats like a horse?
Little white lie
A garbage man was doing the rounds one morning. He came to a house where there was no bin out front, but there was a man sitting on the porch. — G‘man says: “Hey! Where’s ya bin?” Guy: “I’ve been in Florida.” — G‘man: “No, no. I meant where’s ya wheely bin?” Guy: “I’ve really been in jail but I tell everyone I’ve been in Florida.”
My friend was trying to feed her baby but he was having none of it. I said "Try the Airplane."
She said, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."
What do you call a country where all assassins are white 16 yr old girls?
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A White House Staffer Almost Walked in on Press Secretary Jen Psaki using the restroom.
White boards are really amazing...
...in fact, they’re remarkable.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
What’s white and can ruin breakfast?
I saw a news report recently about how a certain thick, white, egg based condiment is secretly being manufactured using horse meat.
The FDA says to listen carefully when you open the jar because the tainted mayo neighs.
What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?
Came to the living room and found the TV screen was white.
"Who's watching Peace TV?"
My friend just bought breast implants made of Oak.
It seems like that would be uncomfortable, wooden tit?
You come to the end of the road. North of you is the red house, west is the green house, east is the blue house. Where is the white house?
What did the security officer at White House said to the tourist sitting on the president's chair?
I watched one of those really good black and white movies the other day
Interracial porn is great
Why do great white sharks chase after Superman in the ocean?
Because he has a seal on his chest.
The spelling mistake adze nothing.
Whenever someone asks me if I prefer maples, elms, or oaks, my response is always the same:
"It's not a poplar tree contest."
What type of shoes do kidnappers wear?
Why is Trump not allowed in the White House anymore?
What’s the perfect name for a baby boy who’s half white, half Indian?
Do black and white count as colors?
Why do white bears who are attracted to both sexes have mood swings?
If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
I cant stop chasing white whales
Pretty fly for a white guy
Why don’t trees use the train?
They can never find a root.
The Trump White House is so polite these days.
Everyone there is saying “Pardon me” all the time now.
Panda walks into a cafe...
He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots, & leaves."
For six days of the week, I appreciate oak trees.
The other day? That's a firs day.
A white bear was moved to Antarctica
What would Walter White be called if he dealt in ketchup instead of meth?
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
What’s black and white and eats like a horse?
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