The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
I drove by two First Baptist Churches today.
Why did the 9V battery get kicked out of church?
Because they were holding an AA Meeting
Did you know? I certainly didn’t but, that game ‘Mortal Combat’ was originally based upon a very old Scandinavian church song.
>!It was a Finnish Hymn!<
An elderly couple is in a church. The wife says to the husband “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”
The husband says “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”
My Dad: Did you know that Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?
Me: Wait, what? Really?
Dad: Yeah, a Finnish Hymn.
What do you call a church on the beach?
In a Protestant church.
I saw a large metal contraption with smoke coming from it.
I asked "Is that an organ?"
They said "No, it's a catholic converter."
The creator of Mortal Kombat got the idea for the game while visiting a church in Finland...
... listening to a Finnish Hymn
What are Pastafarian churches called?
There was a naked man running around the church
The police caught him by the organ
So I went to church and looked around for people
For some time now, the Church of Scientology has been trying to prevent one of its most outspoken members from saying anything too embarrassing.
They call it “Cruise Control”.
When the church relocated ...
it had an organ transplant.
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
I told my son, look the church has locked up the door and turned off their lights. He said, what's that got to do with anything? I said well,...
My wife played Jesus in the Easter play at church.
Some of the more traditional members were uncomfortable with her cross-dressing.
What do you call Batman that skips church?
In the church of the workshop...
What do you call it when a sister of the church is speaking gibberish?
When you leave the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster...
That's called A-pasta-cy
I'm proud of that one. I originally posted it to r/cleanjokes
What type of fruit Must get married in a Church?
Why did the melon have a church wedding?
A Higgs Boson walks into a church
The pastor says, “You can’t be in here!”
The Higgs Boson replies, “Well without me you can’t have mass.”
A kitten with a lisp goes to a different church every week.
Just found out im still a part of the catholic church even though ive been an atheist for years...
...guess you could call me a serial sinner
How do you get your child excited to go to church?
Tell them they are going to the prayground
Did you hear about the guy that went streaking through the church?
They caught him by the organ.
What happens to someone who farts in church?
They have to sit in their own pew.
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....
When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen
Who are two good friends you should always take fishing?
Why was the church song leader so happy when a member of her congregation was killed in a car accident?
The deceased was an organ donor.
Did you hear about the Mormon drummer that married 4 women with the same name?
What is the difference between a Protestant & a Catholic church?
A Catholic church is full of gild!
How many people showed up to the church yesterday?
How does a muslim close a door?
First time my dad took me to church I noticed there was a lady disrobing dolls and putting the clothes on a small cross. I asked my dad what she was doing.
He said "Oh that's just a cross dresser..."
Why did the two melons have a church wedding?
What does a phaser sound like in church?
Barack Obama at our local church making continual ‘Ding Dong’ noises.
I can see why he won the No peace Bell Prize
Did you know the Mortal Kombat theme song actually comes from a Scandinavian church song?
Did you know Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?
It’s called a ‘Finnish Hymn’.
Did you know that Mortal Combat is based off of a Scandinavian church song?
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Did you know Mortal Kombat was based on an old Scandinavian church song?
A Finnish Hymn, if you would
What do you call it when batman skips church?
What's it called when Batman skips out on Church?