What do you call a bee that is from the United States
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︎ Apr 26 2021
United States of BEE
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︎ Mar 15 2021
What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?
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︎ Mar 29 2021
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
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︎ Dec 08 2020
The United States Postal Service got jokes
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know Iβm getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beerβ¦.
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! β€οΈ
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︎ Apr 09 2021
What unit of measure do pirates use?
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Watt is the unit of power?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
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︎ Aug 03 2020
What do you call a detective dog's party held in the United Arab Emirates?
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︎ May 04 2021
My 8 year old sons joke today. Whatβs a girls favorite unit of measurement?
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︎ Apr 15 2021
A reporter interviewed a 103-year old woman: βAnd what is the best thing about being 103?β the reporter asked.
The woman simply replied, βNo peer pressure.β
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︎ Feb 12 2021
What's the difference between the United States and United Kingdom
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︎ Jul 13 2020
What state in the US drinks the smallest cans of soda?
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︎ Apr 21 2021
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
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︎ May 01 2021
TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the SpanishβAmerican War, had dogs to go with them...
The were The Ruff Riders.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?
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︎ Feb 18 2020
[Dark] Reports came out that suicide rates actually dropped during the pandemic despite people's worst fears. I guess it's true what they say...
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︎ May 07 2021
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
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︎ Dec 07 2017
If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
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︎ Mar 12 2021
My 8 year old has created a new unit of measument...
She just picked up the squeeze ketchup and said, "I only need one fart of ketchup." She gives the bottle a single squeeze and gets her "one fart."
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︎ Mar 23 2021
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...
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︎ Jun 09 2020
53 states would make us indivisible
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︎ Apr 27 2021
I'm not usually secretive when it comes to base units.
But there is one that makes me KG.
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︎ Apr 30 2021
On the news there was a report of a cheese factory exploding in France.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
The United States is a cancer.
Its birthday is July 4th.
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︎ Feb 22 2020
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN
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︎ Oct 23 2020
Why is it spelled "Color" in the US but "Colour" in Britain?
Because after the revolutionary war, the freed United States told Britain defiantly, "We're getting rid of you".
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︎ May 03 2021
What can jump higher, the empire state building or a kangaroo
The kangaroo cause the empire state building can't jump
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︎ Apr 26 2021
I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...
There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.
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︎ Jan 19 2020
I went to a supermarket in the United Arab Emirates, but all the shelves were empty.
There was literally nothing Dubai.
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︎ Mar 14 2021
What's the opposite of Manchester United?
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︎ Mar 29 2021
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Imagine Americans switched from Pound to Kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Petco has a new Covid vaccine for animals & humans. In tests, some people have reported excessive hair growth on their hands. I'm going to get it anyway...
but it does give me paws.
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︎ Apr 13 2021
We need to add three more states to the United States of America
53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.
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︎ May 18 2017
Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.
βNoah walked out onto the ark and saw....β
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Won an award for growing the biggest pickle in the state.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
|unit|
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︎ Apr 19 2021
What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?
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︎ Feb 20 2020
Why does Missouri like being surrounded by other states?
Because Missouri loves company!
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︎ Apr 25 2021
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