Tusked frog Puns

My partner and I have generously been allowed to build a small (50m2) cabin on my mum's property in SE QLD, which is about 4 acres and sits on remanant rainforest with a creek and is in a koala corridor. About a quarter to a third of the property was cleared probably back in the 50s for grazing and is now 'park-like' - grass/weeds interspersed with the occasional Eucaptus, Corymbia & Lophostemon. The property is Land For Wildlife and has had a survey done which indicates the remnant rainforest has a high level of native plant diversity and the local area is habitat for listed species such as the Tusked Frog, Richmond Birdwing Butterfly and koalas.

So, my goal is to work on the previously cleared/grazed third of the property, as well as removing the invasive weeds that have been identified. One of my plans is to make 'stepping stones' or 'islands' of local natives shrubs and grasses around the lone gum trees so that wildlife don't have to venture out into the open so much. I will also place more water sources in these little gardens such as bird baths and potentially a habitat/frog pond to encourage diversity of insects as well as emphibians, snakes and birds.

I'm very excited to start working on the property to conserve and improve it! If anyone has any thoughts/suggestions/critisisms please let me know. I'd also love to hear other peoples ideas for their own properties! What are you doing to rewild where you live?

“You collapsed the cave?” Cleff asked, her tone curiously neutral as she sat behind a desk.

“I did.” Puta nodded as she stood at full attention.

“There could have been documents in there,” the moth-woman pointed out, drumming her fingers against the desk.

“I considered that unlikely, colonel.” Puta gestured around the prefab they currently occupied.

The prefab was a bit of a mess, Cleff noted as she glanced around the room. The walls had a few holes in them from where they’d been struck in the fighting and then been rapidly covered with tarp in the aftermath. A curious action, given that they’d be torching the place in a few hours, but until then they needed the computers contained within, which meant they needed to keep Raknos-Three’s omnipresent rain out.

“From what my technicians can see,” Puta continued, “all the info that might be recovered from this site is likely to be here on these computers. Perhaps they are wrong, and the real nerve center was held inside the cave, but I doubt it. What I know that cave contained were traps and Roaches.”

“Which would have been a small nightmare to flush out,” Gremp opined from her position at the back of the room, where she was watching over the small horde of technicians that were working on cracking the Roach computers.

There was just a hint of surliness in the Shil’vati woman’s tone, which was entirely unexpected. As commander of the regiment’s exo company, she’d been none too pleased to discover that her people wouldn’t get the ‘honor’ of drawing first blood for the regiment. Instead, the exos had been held in reserve, so that they could rapidly redeploy if anything went wrong with the main attack.

Something her regiment’s second-biggest prima donnas had taken with very little grace.

Because if I’m not dealing with a bunch of Human tankers sulking the entire trip over, I’m dealing with Shil aristos who are upset they can’t write home to mommy about finally bagging some Roaches, Cleff lamented.

So she ignored the woman and instead turned her attention back to her Major. “As the woman on the ground it was your prerogative to deal with the situation as you wished. In future though, I would prefer it if you contacted me before possibly destroying valuable enemy intel.”

“Noted.” The Rakiri nodded. “Weather and situation permitting.”

Reluctantly, Cleff nodded back. “Weather and situation permitting.”

Which would be a lot less than she might like, given that barely a kilometer from the eye of the s

I got a hideous potion for one of my players, found in a corridor where potions where tested. this potion, when drunk, changes your apearance for 1d8 hours. it should meke you more hideous. any sugstions? can be humurous or dark suggestions. side note, atm the dragon born has it.

i got

1. grow very large tusks
2. your teeth are now very sharp
3. you get a third non functioning eye
4. you grow a large amount of nose hair
5. your eyes move to one side of your face (like a flounder)
6. your face is all swolen like you've been stung by a hundered bees.
7. you grow a horn from your eyebrows....
8. You instantly get monobrow
9. You grow a beard from your forehead.
10. You temporarily lose three random fingers.
11. You can an elephant foot on the right leg.
12. You grow a pig's tale. From the back of your head.
13. Your hair becomes greasy and black grease runs down your face in random intervals.
14. Your skin becomes translucent.
15. Your teeth become flaccid.
16. Your fingers begin melding in with one another, slowly looking like fleshy mittens.
17. Your mouth closes over and you cannot speak during the time, only make sounds.
18. Your eyes pop out of your head and begin floating around similar to the eyestalks of a beholder.
19. Your eyes become a milky white and then melt out of your head, though, you can still see properly.
20. A mouth grows on your neck and constantly babbles nonsense.
21. Your arms and legs can freely bend the opposite direction.
22. Your hair constantly appears as if it is underwater, floating in the air.
23. your spine and hips crack and realign locking you into a quadrupedal stance.
24. your throat gains an inflatable and brightly colored vocal sack similar to that of a frog.
25. all hair, feathers, or scales in your body glow in an eerie green color while in dark areas.
26. your back and limbs get covered in thick crocodilian osteoderms.
27. your saliva and sweat have a very noticeable and strong smell that causes hallucinations to those who smell it for prolonged periods of time. You are immune to this effect.
28. your tongue becomes forked like that of a snake and lengthens by 30 cm.
29. your jaw becomes protrusible similar to that of a goblin shark.
30. one of your arms turns into a lobster claw.
31. your neck has a travel arc of 270 degrees.
32. your eyes are replaced by compound eyes.
33. your skin color changes depending on your emotional state.
34. your elbows have two large spikes jutting out of them.
35. Nose grows large and

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a fascination with nature, and the unexplored wilderness. I remember meandering through the woods outside my house when I was a kid, collecting plants & fungi for personal collections. I would sometimes wander through shallow ponds, catching frogs, toads and newts armed with a small net, the same net being used for catching insects as well.

As time would pass, I’d eventually move onto greater wilderness, geared with hiking, camping and photography equipment, for the wildlife I sought to capture shots of. I am today, a biologist, and environmentalist, with my wildlife expertise being mainly in mammals, specifically bears and large carnivores.

The job I remember having the most was with the Canadian wildlife service or CWS for short, where I was tasked with tracking and observing grizzly bears, in order to assess the challenges and threats they face.

You see, permanent removal of suitable habitat by human activity within grizzly distribution remains one of the principal threats to the bears. And because individual grizzlies need large home ranges, large-scale industrial projects, increased future resource development, and establishment of transportation corridors could potentially pose a significant threat by the removal of a larger portion of effective habitat, in turn significantly limiting their range. Climate change also posed a threat, with Mountain Pine Beetle populations propagating as a result, and destroying forests of Whitebark Pine, these trees being an essential food source for grizzlies.

One day, the service put in charge of a localized project for grizzlies in a heavily remote part of the Albertan part of the Rocky Mountains. The Rockies of Alberta are known for being a vast, largely inaccessible stretch of wilderness, with many parts only reachable by air. This has made it a refuge for a plethora of wildlife, many of whose population trends in the area are still as of now unknown.

The expedition would last about two weeks, and would consist of tracking individual bears, as well as measuring anthropogenic effects, and, to a lesser extent, the effects of climate change on the area.

Without further delay, I had prepared my gear and left to help with the project. I had flown over from operations in Calgary to the location of the base via helicopter, where from there on out, we would continue throughout the mountains on foot, setting up camp at different locations. We were expected to return

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

We recommend feeding your African Dwarf Frogs a few (to several) different foods in rotation. This a good way to help them get their nutritional needs met. Some foods make a decent staple, like the frozen Mysis shrimp, packaged in the little cubes and found at many pet stores. Some are treat material, like frozen brine shrimp (found in the same type of cubed packaging at the pet store), and some provide the vitamins and minerals they might otherwise be missing in an all protein diet; like a pellet food formulated specifically for frogs.

Freeze-dried foods and Bloodworms:

These foods are not recommended. A quick google search will lead you down a rabbit hole of forum posts going back and forth, pro and against, these food items. The bottom line for us is that there is a possibility that these foods are commonly associated with internal damage and bloating, and with so many other options available, why chance it?

Frozen foods:

As mentioned above, you can usually locate a freezer in your local pet store that has a variety of frozen fish foods packaged in little cubes. You might be lucky enough to find these: Mysis shrimp, Brine shrimp, Daphnia, Blackworms, and Mosquito larvae. These are all decent staple foods, minus the Brine; which definitely has a bit of protein, but is reportedly missing some other things and therefore should be used as a treat of sorts, vs a staple. For example, I personally use it about every other evening when mine are sitting in the bowl and begging for another feed. In the morning I give my 10 ADFs one cube of thawed Mysis; and about every third day they get some crushed up pellets mixed in with either their Mysis or their Brine.

Pellet foods:

When choosing a pellet food, please consider the ingredients. Avoid any listing corn in the ingredients and/or any other vegetable matter. This can cause your frogs to have loose/runny bowel movements and nobody wants that, especially your frogs. You also want to avoid any listing copper and/or zinc high up in the ingredients list. If they are down toward the end of the list, they are minimal amounts and when used in rotation with other foods, shouldn’t be problematic. Here’s some good pellet options: https://www.joshsfrogs.com/pisces-frog-tadpole-food-1-2-oz.html

https://invertaquatics.com/products/frog-bites Here’s a lower quality pellet you MUST soak before feeding but is available at most pet stores: https://www.chewy.com/zoo-med-aquatic-frog-tadpole-food/dp/124345?utm_so

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

♥️Pets♥️

Aussie egg (x6)

Dragon

FR Griffin

Metal Ox

R Arctic Fox

Frog (x4)

Halloween White Skeleton Dog

Lunar Ox (x2)

Penguin (x2)

Toucan

Yeti

Australian Kelpie

Emu

Ox

Rabbit (x8)

N Rabbit

Reindeer

Swan

Bat

Chocolate Labrador

Dingo (x2)

Glyptodon

Puma (x2)

Bandicoot

N Buffalo (x3)

Buffalo (x3)

Cat

Tasmanian Tiger

♥️Pet Wear♥️

Elf Hat

Founders Crown (x2)
Beret

Lavender Scarf

Red Beanie

Sombrero

Blue Backpack

Blue Cap

Cowbell

Detective Hat

Detective Mustache

Leaf Crown

Magnifying Glass

Sunglasses

Tusks

White bow tie

♥️Strollers♥️

Triple Stroller

Crate Stroller (x2)

♥️Vehicles♥️

Banana Car

Donut Cycle

Horse Cycle

Clown Car

Donut Unicycle

Magical Princess Unicycle

Human Bubble

Pizza Unicycle (x2)

Clown Unicycle (x3)

Unicycle

Bike

Multibike

Roller Skates

♥️Toys♥️

Crossbow Grappling Hook

Griffin Propeller

Lemonade Stand

Monkey Pogo (x3)

Reindeer Leash

Rope Chew Toy (x4)

Teddy Skele

Axe Rattle

Banjo

A LOT MORE TOYS IM TO BORED TO TYPE

💚If I added a NFR Rabbit would it be halo worthy?💚

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.