Why couldn't the magician fit his top hat on his head?

Because his hare was too big.

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👤︎ u/GrayWolf85
📅︎ May 18 2021
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Why do magicians wear top hats?

So the audience can't see their hare!!!

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📅︎ Jul 05 2020
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That hat is the tops
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📅︎ Feb 15 2020
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I robbed a jewelry store in a top hat and set fire to a house...

apparently I had committed arson lupin

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👤︎ u/betA_cyan
📅︎ Feb 10 2019
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I bought a wig for only 25 cents!

It was a small price toupee

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📅︎ May 26 2021
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My moment finally came in the dad joke universe, and my teenage son kinda giggled!

My son and I were in Lids picking out a nice hat for a Christmas present. We wanted to see one on the top rack so the employee grabbed her little hook tool to grab it. Well, she dropped it on the floor... I told my son "I think we can get it for dirty percent off!" My son smirked and laughed just barely but started saying no dad, just no. I was pretty proud of myself!

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📅︎ Jul 22 2019
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So kermit the frog walks into a bank...

He walks up to the teller. Her nametag says "Patricia Wak". He says, "Hey there, Patty, I'd like a loan." She replies, "Okay, for how much?"

"Ten dollars."

"I'm sorry, but I can't authorize that."

"Really? Well, what if I give you this?"

He hands her a clam with a top hat and googly eyes.

"Um... What is this?"

"Alright, alright. What if I told you my dad was Mick Jagger?"

"I can't give you a 10 dollar loan, it's simply against policy."

"Alright, I'll tell you what. Go talk to your manager, and bring the clam with you. He'll let you give me a loan."

Patricia walks into the back office and tells the manager the story. He immediately says "Alright, give him the loan."

"I'm sorry, but why this time?"

"Well (picking up the clam), it's mainly because of this, and also because of his dad."

"What is it exactly?"

"It's a knick knack, Patty Wak, give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!"

My dad's favourite.

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👤︎ u/hylandw
📅︎ Dec 03 2013
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My friend Cumbo.

Just realised that my good friend Cumbo fires out countless dad jokes every day. Off the top of my head this one stands out but I'll continue to post them as he makes them.

friend puts a chicken hat on

Cumbo: "Hey, you look like you've just been laid!"

Hilarity ensues.

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👤︎ u/Fruzz92
📅︎ Oct 11 2013
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New girlfriend is a keeper.

I love the Orlando Magic and she told me she was going to get a me a hat.

Went over to her house and she handed me a top hat and said here's your magic hat.

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📅︎ Dec 09 2015
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