Why couldn't the magician fit his top hat on his head?
Because his hare was too big.
What wears a pointy hat and has great rhythm?
What do you call a suicidal Japanese fighter pilot wearing a traditional Jewish hat?
I actually lost my hat yesterday.
I bought a wig for only 25 cents!
It was a small price toupee
What’s a kind of tree hat can fit in ur hand?
Once again I've entered the annual tightest hat competition in our town, this year I'm just hoping..
..that I can pull it off.
I saw a construction cone doing weird dances in the street and wearing a clown hat. I asked the construction crew that that cone is made from.
They replied, "sili-cone"
"Hats" should be spelled as "HATS"
Why do magicians wear top hats?
So the audience can't see their hare!!!
I like to wear a canoe on my head like it's a hat
Works best if it's capsized
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead
What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
A red herring...the hat was also a red herring.
Two hats were having a chat
"You stay here," one said, "I'll go on ahead."
Saw the trailer for the new Top Gun movie
It looked kinda plane to me
I was going to tell a joke about a prisoner transferring from a cell on the top floor to one on the bottom floor...
...but the punchline is con descending.
This may not be the right sub for this, if so mods do your thing but my girlfriend, who has worked hard all her life to be a top ranked tennis player, just broke up with me.
I guess love means nothing to her.
I suggested my son wear a hi-hat for hat day at school but he said no.
Apparently he's not into cymbalism.
Son's first good pun for Father's Day
My 7 year old son tries to tell puns, but he's really bad at it. After going to the zoo, he noticed that his right ear was itchy. Upon inspection, we noticed that the skin around his ear was flaking. We discussed if it was a sun burn, but he had been wearing a bucket hat all day. Without missing a beat he said:
I guess it has to be an "ear"itation. He even used air quotes. Proud moment for Father's Day!
Hope you had a great Father's Day as well!
What did that hat say to the gloves?
You guys can stay here, I'm gonna go on ahead.
Didja know that in Turkey they have a social networking dedicated to red hats?
Why do they call that hat you wear in the jungle a pith helmet?
Becauthe of all the monkeeth up in the treeth.
Traveled to the top of a misty mountain in the Far East to ask the local monk the meaning of life
He said. Many men bite, but fumanchu
Just had my covid jab in the top of my leg
Hats!
I bet this went over some of your heads
A climber accidentally dropped his oxygen tank while enjoying the view on top of Mount Everest.
It was quite a breathtaking view.
Did you hear about the Frenchman at the hat shop who kept getting yelled at by his boss?
He got tired of being beret-ted all of the time.
I’m opening a high end barber shop on the top floor of a hotel..
It’s a cut above the rest.
You can tell the gender of an ant by putting it on top of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it doesn't, buoyant.
My brother got extremely pissed off when he put the top on a pot of water upside down. Then he turned it over.
What’s the best way to guess the temperature at the top of a mountain?
I have finished childproofing my home but I didn't do a good job.
My kids are still able to get in the house.
A writing utinsil at the absolute top of its field ...
... has reached the pen-nicle
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
One hat says to the other,
"You wait here, I’ll go on a head."
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
My barista didn’t filter my coffee right. I issued her a restraining order.
My dog was sitting on top of some sound equipment
I won the top prize in a lottery themed around the world's tallest terrestrial animal
I guess a picked a pretty lucky giraffle ticket
What has a bottom at it's top?
Two Hats
What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here. I'll go on a head.
What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here, i'll go on a head
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