This was one of my favorite jokes my Dad told me when I was a kid. I turn 46 tomorrow, and he turns 76. Yep, we both have the same birthday. "What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?"
Walk him, and pitch to the rhino.
Thanks for still making me laugh with that one, Dad.
I am driving through England, and plan to stop at Greenwich tomorrow.
No idea what to do in the Mean Time.
My son and I are getting new glasses tomorrow, after that!
The teacher asked Little Jimmy, “if I give you 4 cats today and 2 more tomorrow, how many cats will you have?” Little Jimmy said, “Seven” The teacher said, “no Jimmy, four plus two equals six. Why did you say seven? Little Jimmy said,
“Because I already have a cat.”
The temperature is going to be above 3 and below 5 tomorrow.
My dad was watching the weather channel in one room and my mom was in the other. The weatherman was a Russian named Rudolph. My dad yelled to my mom, "Hey honey I think it's gonna rain tomorrow!" To which she replied "How do you know?"
He said, "I'm watching the weather channel and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear"
“I’m afraid I can’t go to church tomorrow,” I told my daughter as I pulled out the Chedder and Brie.
“I plan to prey on cheeses tonight.”
I sprained my ankle and can’t come to The James tomorrow.
What is The James, you ask?
Well, it typically goes by its nickname (The Gym), if that helps.
I begin my new job tomorrow, proofreading for Merriam-Webster, the online dictionary. I asked them if I'd be starting at nine, and they told me to fuck off.
I'll be starting at aardvark, like everybody else.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow
I'm 29 and my 30th birthday is tomorrow. My gf asked if I feel old yet.
I said, "Not even. I'm still in my prime."
My kids came out of school and told my partner they have made cards for her for Mother's Day. I asked for a card, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,
My someday sister-in-law is getting hand surgery tomorrow, and is looking for some cheering up. Looking to add to my pun repertoire!
On Saturday, my son confronted me about why I spend time with him on only 1 day of the week, but I spend time with his sister every other day. I told him that I would take him to the movies tomorrow, and he asked if it was 'just because he asked'.
I told him, 'no, because it's Son Day'.
A famous viking of the red clan came home one day and told his wife it's gonna rain tomorrow. She asked him how he knows. He told her:
Rudolf the red knows rain, dear!
Tomorrow is International Mud Day, and I had this marvellous exchange with my 4 year old today, Sunday: "Better prepare your gumboots, tomorrow is Mud Day!" I exclaimed. My child, without missing a beat, replied:
"No it's not, it's MUNday!"
The apprentice has now become the master.
What´s the difference between yesterday and tomorrow
My wife is going on a trip tomorrow and told me she needs to pack.
I told her that's quite unfortunate because he's dead.
Last night, my wife looks at me with a sudden realization and says, "We have to DO IT tomorrow!!"
My first thought was, "why is that not the goal for every day?"
When I asked OK but why, her response was, "We can't let the last day of the year end without a bang!"
I’m taking my son and daughter to the store tomorrow to buy stuffing for their pillows.
I’m planning to get down with the kids.
I always wanted my dad to grow a beard and would try to get him to not shave in the mornings. As he began shaving, he would always promise me that he’d start growing a beard ‘tomorrow’, but he never did.
He was a bald faced liar.
If tomorrow in Spanish is manana, and morning in Spanish is manana...
Tomorrow morning must be...
Mañana mañana 🎶 do do do do do 🎶
Mañana mañana 🎶 do do do do 🎶
Mañana mañana 🎶 do doo de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do-do do do do-doo do 🎶
The talent show's tomorrow and I'm not ready.
I really gotta get my act together.
Just a reminder for everyone to plan ahead and allow for extra time tomorrow
The internet is going to have more traffic than usual
My brother in-law an I are going fishing tomorrow morning and my daughter asked what we are fishing for.
I told her, "just for the halibut (hell of it)"
Wife says, "I've got to dress up tomorrow, and I can't find anything to wear."
I replied, "What do you want to dress up as?"
I had a date yesterday. I have one today. And tomorrow... and the day after...
My girlfriend and I are going out on a date tomorrow and I told her I would pay for the whole thing if I were made of money.
Girlfriend (Being Cute): Wait, you aren't made of money?
Me: No, just my eyes.
Girlfriend: ??
Me: Their my cents of sight.
My car's name is Word and there's a race tomorrow.
But don't take my word for it.
Took the day off from work and helping my wife cook bread for Turkey Day tomorrow...
I sent her a picture of the progress, she replied that I probably used too much flour, I replied "Sorry, I didn't know how much I kneaded." Groans were heard around the world.
Tomorrow I have to take my Q40 into the dealership for an oil change, then pick up new bed sheets and some towels.
To Infiniti, and Bed Bath & Beyond!
I'm flying to Oregon tomorrow, and my dad asked me to bring him back something.
He said, "Can you bring me back one of those folded paper ducks? I think it's called Origoni."
Tomorrow my son and I are getting new eyeglasses. And after that?
I’m driving through England, and will be staying in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I’m traveling through England and will be in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I’m driving through England, and am scheduled to pass through Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the meantime.
I’m driving through England and am supposed to stop in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I am driving through England, and I’m supposed to go to Greenwich tomorrow.
Any ideas what to do in the Mean Time?
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