TommyD Puns

I'm not too sure, but Tommy, he'll figure it out.

Tommy proudly answered, "North, South and Tad!"

Little Joey asked his brother, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen." Tommy responded.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy." Tommy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the priest said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer!"

My wife: "Honey after you get a vasectomy you have to go to regular check ups so we don't get a whoopsie daisey" Me: "Or a whoopsie Tommy or a whoopsie Bobby"

So I donated blood recently, and one of the Doctors(?) Nurses(?) for the Red-Cross named Tommy was a jokester. So I start donating and he is cracking all these jokes and at one point he gets to talking about his childhood. Tommy says, "When I was a kid I had a step-ladder." I asked him what was special about it afterwards and he said, "well I never met my real ladder, but this one did the job decently enough..."

Que groans from everyone at the donation center.

When we were on a family vacation years ago my sister's new boyfriend made a Collect call so he could talk to her. She comes running in the room gushing, "Tommy called me Collect!"

Dad says, "Pssh...Why would you waste your time on a guy that doesn't even know your name?"