I’m going to ask my wife if she will be my β€œvalen-tine”!!!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x000b
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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I hear they are making a new Star Trek movie about the crew stealing the Enterprise and going to a planet to search for a mythical spoon with tines...

It's Star Trek: The Search for Spork

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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I asked my Dad what it was like to learn Braille for the first tine, but he didn’t want to talk about it.

It must be a touchy subject.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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At tines Reddit is very punny!
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowKillerx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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Why is smoking bad for cat girls?

Because of the neko-tine! ;0

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuanOrKamek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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An interesting title
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pinkpunther96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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To the person losing all their forks:

It must be terrible to be running out of tines.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeraldAlabaster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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More efficient?
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/princeofcrack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2017
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What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak ?

They stay in Quran-tine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMatrix1101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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What do you call it when a farmer is stuck in his house and can’t get out to the fields?

Corn-tine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Man11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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My Muslim friend tested positive for Coronavirus...

He's now under Qurʾān-tine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Albert Einstein originally theorized about the business end of a fork...

It was about tine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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I’ve been thinking about getting a group together tonight to drink milk in each other’s company.

It’s Gallon-tine’s Day after all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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What did the man with an endless supply of forks say?

I've got all the tine in the world.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamvanno
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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A scientist stuck a fork into an electrical outlet.

His discovery was shocking.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2016
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What did the smoker say when he ran out of smokes and found a cigarette pack?

Just in the nic'o tine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unknow0059
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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My fork company has had a lot of ups and downs this year

It was the best of tines, it was the worst of tines.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2017
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I was laying in bed with my wife,

and spooning lead to forking. Afterwards, I asked her why the teeth on sporks are so small. She said she didn't know so I said it is because they are tine-y.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boomerwang
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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A dad asked his wife what sort of food would be available at the venue the family was visiting.

She said, "Fries and shit."

"So... poo-tine?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P4rtyP3nguin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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If you're feeling extra salty about being single today...

It's probably because it's Saline-tine's day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daedalususedperl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
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My daughter said, "This fork is tiny."

I replied, "Well, all forks are tine-y."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
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Forking good dad joke

Our toddler is learning about opposites, but some concepts are proving trickier than others.

My wife: "I just don't understand why he can't tell the difference between a fork and a spoon."

Me: "it's a tricky distinction. Just give him some tine."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/camram07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2016
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Did you know that forks in an exam have their own digestive systems?

They've got their own in-test tines.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MusicalTerrorist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2015
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