The Wig Puns

The police are combing the area

I haven't looked Bach since!

It was a blessing in disguise

Hey!! GET BACK HERE!!! You need toupeé for that!!

A true re-maner

That was a bald move

The boss says "I need to mull-it over..."

Personally, I think it’s a fair price toupee.

I forgot toupee.

He didn’t want toupee

You don't have toupee for them

Hells toupee

I found a really nice expensive one, but I didn't have enough money toupee for it.

There’ll be hell toupee.

That was a pretty bald move

I got you covered.

the police are combing the area as we speak

I will now take suggestions on how to be more sensitive to deaf people. I'm all ears!

1. As a ventroliquist, I made one of my dummies sing a song by the GoGos. I'm not going to tell you how I did it. My lips are sealed!
2. Im the only council member against the construction of the beach. Im going against the grain!
3. Why did God make me a conjoined twin? Im beside myself!
4. I put aluminum on a villain's mind control devices. I foiled his plan!
5. Even though I'm scared of heights, I still go skydiving with this girl I like. Im falling for her!
6. My shoelace company collapsed. I couldn't make ends meet!
7. I like using misdirection in my jokes to make people laugh. Or do I?
8. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a hotdog. I'm on a roll!
9. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a nerd. I'm honor roll!
10. The answer to this question, "Who's the president of the United States?" is a no-brainer.
11. I finished a race the other day. I won 'cause I killed all the Kenyans!
12. I don't know how to wear a wig. At least not off the top of my head.
13. I went grocery shopping at Harris Teeter for a 50% off everything sale. I went in for a carrot and came out with a half, which is why I now shop at Whole Foods!
14. If youre being attacked by zombies, just throw a party! Nobody wants to kill the life of the party!
15. I used to date a girl, who still uses a nightlight. What a turn-off!

Me: Hey boss man. Why did the business man decide to not buy a wig?

Him: uh I don't know....

Me: He didn't want toupee for it.

Him: This is your last day here.

It was good while it lasted. Bonus points, my boss is bald.

A guy walks into a psychiatrists office obviously frantic and repeating, "I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wig-wam, I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wig-wam..."

The psychiatrist says, "Whoa, whoa, man. Sit down! You're two tents!"

My father and I were listening to a morning show on our way to work this morning. One of the radio personalities mentioned the were a legoman for Halloween. Without missing a beat, my father said, "If it were a woman wearing his costume, would she be called a Legolass." Now I find the need to tape together and color some cardboard boxes, get a blonde wig, and wield a bow for Halloween.

She told me he reminded her of the Wigs.

Earlier today, we were going through costume inventory for our next musical and my teacher was going through the wigs.

Him: "Okay, we have a sugar plum wig, a fairy godmother wig, a witch wig..."

Me: "Hey, Mr. Teacher, which wig?"

Him: "The witch wig."

Me: "That's what I'm asking."

One person groaned in the back,, and slowly, everyone got the joke and was groaning.

Earlier today I went for a swim at the local swimming pool but forgot to take my wig off. When I jumped in I felt it get washed away. Anyway, back to the joke, I came up with it right off the top of my head.