Someone just robbed the local wig store

The police are combing the area

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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My sister said I looked like a German composer and musician of the Baroque period, especially when wearing my powdered wig... So I changed everything and it changed my life!

I haven't looked Bach since!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I went to a christening where the priest was wearing glasses, a fake nose, fake moustache and a wig...

It was a blessing in disguise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Londoner1982
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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What did the wig shop owner shout at the thief as they ran out of the store with one of the hair pieces?

Hey!! GET BACK HERE!!! You need toupeΓ© for that!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TACKYTUESDAY
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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My friend didn't want to exit the EU, so now he stays home making wigs for horses..

A true re-maner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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Someone stole the president’s wig

That was a bald move

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinn80
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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A worker tells his boss about a great idea. The boss says "let me think about it" then pulls a bad 80's wig from his desk and puts it on. The worker asks "what's that for?"

The boss says "I need to mull-it over..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nlwe_s
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Some people think the cost of wigs is too high

Personally, I think it’s a fair price toupee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaltySmasher322
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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I almost got in trouble today when I walked out of the store with a wig.

I forgot toupee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Why did the man steal the wig?

He didn’t want toupee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pedroplaysguitar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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Whats the best thing about free wigs?

You don't have toupee for them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StHa14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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What's the name of Satans wig shop?

Hells toupee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dysfantuacl22
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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I Went Shopping For Wigs The Other Day

I found a really nice expensive one, but I didn't have enough money toupee for it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BD8D
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
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So I just found out that the wig shop around the corner from me is owned by the devil.

There’ll be hell toupee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MISTER_FACETIOUS
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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Did you hear about the wig heist in broad daylight ?

That was a pretty bald move

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobotFK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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What did the wig say to the head?

I got you covered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicoSplat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
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I'm sorry I'm late, a truck full of wigs rolled over on the expressway...

the police are combing the area as we speak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lil_Cr33py
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2013
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Combined my first 2 joke sets into 1. Enjoy!

I will now take suggestions on how to be more sensitive to deaf people. I'm all ears!

  1. As a ventroliquist, I made one of my dummies sing a song by the GoGos. I'm not going to tell you how I did it. My lips are sealed!
  2. Im the only council member against the construction of the beach. Im going against the grain!
  3. Why did God make me a conjoined twin? Im beside myself!
  4. I put aluminum on a villain's mind control devices. I foiled his plan!
  5. Even though I'm scared of heights, I still go skydiving with this girl I like. Im falling for her!
  6. My shoelace company collapsed. I couldn't make ends meet!
  7. I like using misdirection in my jokes to make people laugh. Or do I?
  8. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a hotdog. I'm on a roll!
  9. I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest dressed as a nerd. I'm honor roll!
  10. The answer to this question, "Who's the president of the United States?" is a no-brainer.
  11. I finished a race the other day. I won 'cause I killed all the Kenyans!
  12. I don't know how to wear a wig. At least not off the top of my head.
  13. I went grocery shopping at Harris Teeter for a 50% off everything sale. I went in for a carrot and came out with a half, which is why I now shop at Whole Foods!
  14. If youre being attacked by zombies, just throw a party! Nobody wants to kill the life of the party!
  15. I used to date a girl, who still uses a nightlight. What a turn-off!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ADAToTheMoon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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Walked in to my boss's office today.

Me: Hey boss man. Why did the business man decide to not buy a wig?

Him: uh I don't know....

Me: He didn't want toupee for it.

Him: This is your last day here.

It was good while it lasted. Bonus points, my boss is bald.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theintention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2016
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My Dad's favorite joke that he's been telling for 30+ years.

A guy walks into a psychiatrists office obviously frantic and repeating, "I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wig-wam, I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wig-wam..."

The psychiatrist says, "Whoa, whoa, man. Sit down! You're two tents!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unkle-J
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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The dad in me really wants to make this costume.

My father and I were listening to a morning show on our way to work this morning. One of the radio personalities mentioned the were a legoman for Halloween. Without missing a beat, my father said, "If it were a woman wearing his costume, would she be called a Legolass." Now I find the need to tape together and color some cardboard boxes, get a blonde wig, and wield a bow for Halloween.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joshua_P
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
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I told my wife Donald Trump reminded me of the Know-Nothings

She told me he reminded her of the Wigs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jooey_K
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2016
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I think I pulled an Abbott and Costello on my drama teacher.

Earlier today, we were going through costume inventory for our next musical and my teacher was going through the wigs.

Him: "Okay, we have a sugar plum wig, a fairy godmother wig, a witch wig..."

Me: "Hey, Mr. Teacher, which wig?"

Him: "The witch wig."

Me: "That's what I'm asking."

One person groaned in the back,, and slowly, everyone got the joke and was groaning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stefonio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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Managed to think of a great dad joke earlier today...

Earlier today I went for a swim at the local swimming pool but forgot to take my wig off. When I jumped in I felt it get washed away. Anyway, back to the joke, I came up with it right off the top of my head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colossal_Harry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
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