I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him faster.

It didn't work, now he is more sluggish....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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What did the French snail say when he couldn’t find his care

Where did escargot 🐌

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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I saw two snails fighting the other day.

They were really slugging it out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farmer808
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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Why did the snail work so hard?

Because he had to support a whole household all by himself.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatProtomolecule
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A snail was zipping around the neighborhood in a car with a large S on it

I told the wife "Look at that S car go!!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?

Just look at that escargo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Why do the French πŸ‡«πŸ‡· eat so many snails 🐌

They don’t like fast food

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UndeadNineKills
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Why did the snail buy a Tesla Model S?

To drive it around and make people say "look at that S car go!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I love snails so I painted the letter S all over my car

Now whenever I'm out driving, people point to my car and say: "Look at that S car go."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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What relationship advice did the snail give to it’s friend?

Take it slow.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I took the shell off of my racing snail in hopes that he'd be lighter and faster...

But now he's just sluggish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yadnivek
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a slug and a snail?

Snails are better shells men.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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What do you call a snail in the Navy?

A Snailor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The snail left his shell at home.

He was feeling sluggish the rest of the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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Why did the snail paint the letter β€˜S’ on his new Ferrari?

So everyone would see him driving and say

β€œLook at that escargot!”

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atom644
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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Why do the people on diet eat snails?

Because they try to avoid fast food

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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A snail went to a car dealership and bought the flashiest, fasted, most eye-catching car they had. The snail then special ordered β€œS”s to be printed all over the car. The salesman asked why all the β€œS”s, the snail replied:

When people watch me drive by they’ll say β€œLook at that S-car-go”

(A joke my dad told me many many years ago)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FemaleDadClone
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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What did the snail say while riding on the turtles back?

Wheeeeeeeee!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuandaryOfRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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What did the snail say to his voice activated vehicle when it asked him if he was ready to go for a drive

Yes car go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/absurd-bird-turd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the snail say when it picked up the phone?

"Shello?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/purifiedsilver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the snails doctor give them for dehydration?

A snailine solution!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snowierstorm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
On a post in r/Tifu about a guy who accidentally drank coffe with a snail in the pot.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lookarthispost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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I wanted to see if my snail would move faster without the it's shell

but it wasn't any less sluggish then before.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnhhjmmnnbggh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the snail on the turtle’s back say?

Wheeeeeeeeee!

My daughter told me this one haha!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scathyr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail paint a S on the side of his car?

So when he drove by people would say, β€œLook at that escargot!”

You’re welcome.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeganLadon
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, I heard that the only way you guys could communicate with each other when you were young was landlines and snail mail.”

Dad: No, you better get your fax straight.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
People have a misconception that if you take the shell off snails, it will go faster...

But they just end up being sluggish.

Edit: Don't thank me, the wife laid this one on me just now. I told her was going to post this on reddit, she said we've run out of stamps.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bthefreeman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2015
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Why did the snail put the letter S on his automobile?

He wanted to see his S Car Go.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CobraPony67
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are French snails the fastest in the world?

L’ess cargo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.

When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmmaTR2002
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
5 snails were racing, all with the numbers painted on themselves.

The one in the 5th lane had a poorly drawn 5 on it and took off, faster than all the others. The crowd yelled out, look at that S-car go!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bramzz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I took the shell of my snail recently

He’s been sluggish ever since

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patmcheese
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the snail say when barnacles tried to attach to him?

I’m not lichen that ...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrYegg3000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Body shop asks the snail why he wants S’s painted all over his automobile

Snail says β€œso when I drive by people will say look at that s car go!”

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AngryGrinch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.

But if anything, it made him more sluggish.

πŸ‘︎ 382
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
If you took the shell off a snail...

Would it be faster... Or abit sluggish?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J0eYT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him go faster. If anything it made him more sluggish.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trispir
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. Unfortunately, it just seems to have made him sluggish.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do the French eat snails?

They don’t like fast food!!

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail paint an S on his car?

So when he sped past people they would say "look at that S car go"

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akien0222
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Took the shell off my racing snail to see if I could make it go faster...

Just made it a bit sluggish.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do the French like to eat snails?

They can't stand fast food.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smoke_Hex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail paint an β€˜S’ on his Ferrari?

So that everyone would say say β€œLook at that escargot.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doom1234321
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
did you hear about the racing snail?

he took off his shell so he would be faster but in the end he just felt a bit sluggish

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaz123410
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I removed the shell from my snail to make it faster

But instead it just made it sluggish.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Se7enineteen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do the French like to eat snails so much?

Because they cannot stand fast food.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denim_demon912
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail paint a giant β€œS” on his car?

So whenever he drove by, all the people would say β€œLook at that escargot!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do the french eat snails ?

They don’t like fast food

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leusdollar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
🚨︎ report

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