They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Lickdown
since he is good at catching snitches
The officer replied: “It’s hard to say”
A Liability
It was a minor minority minor miner notoriety.
He said, “Oh please. You should really give me a bit more credit.”
You could say it's my maison d'être.
They had way too much thyme on their hands.
So a bit of background here, I am fully dependent on my carer. Where he goes, I go. What he eats, I have to eat too. And because of that, if he wants to eat the wrong thing, I suffer.
I have no control over what he feeds us and I can't always tolerate the foods he likes. If he eats food that is too spicy, I yell at him. Like a lot. I've even made him cry a few times. But the thing is, I can't control myself. Every time I talk, it is shit for everyone in my vicinity, especially him. That's why I need him as a carer. I really tried to not give him shit for a couple weeks by not talking at all but he thought it was so bad that I did that he took me to the doctor to force me to keep giving out instead of bottling it all up.
I don't know what to do. I'm literally the end point of his digestive system. Am I the asshole?
Nothing, they're both faux pas.
"That's the fastest I've moved in years!"
He flips out.
Sorry, I'm going off on a tan gent.
Because they sphere the world isn't flat after all
The worst-case Bolscenario.
In an eye test I guess.
Syrias...
but I just need t(w)o vent(s) right now.
Waitress: How was the meal?
Dad: It was awful... AWFUL GOOD
Smiles for 10 minutes in delight
International traveler: We bought ______ at the airport, duty free. Dad: Duty free, huh? No shit!
A few years ago, my dad and I were building an addition onto his house. He rented a tool from the hardware store and had to return it, so he asked me to come with him and we would get some breakfast. There was a Burger King nearby, so we decided to stop there to eat.
When we go to the drive-through, we realize the restaurant was closed down, so he drove around the building to get back on the highway. As we were passing the dumpsters, he stopped the car, backed it up, and pointed towards the ground near the dumpster. I looked for a few seconds, trying to see what he was pointing at.
Then... I saw it.
It was a giant, 12+ inch black dildo, standing upright next to the dumpster. It propped itself up on its fake dildo balls, gently swaying in the breeze.
I was astonished. I couldn't even imagine what events in the universe had to line-up so as to end up with that giant dildo meticulously placed next to the dumpster at a closed-down Burger King. I couldn't even begin to fathom why it was there.
My dad, with perfect timing, then shouted "GAY TIMES WILL BE HAD TONIGHT!" and sped out of the parking lot.
We ended up going to Denny's.
He said, “Oh please...you really should give me a bit more credit.”
