The Runners Puns

A list of puns related to "The Runners"

If the winner of a competition cries happy tears, what does the runner up cry?

Second tears.

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👤︎ u/logansworth
📅︎ Mar 31 2021
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A marathon runner walks into a bar and the barman says

Hey why the long race?

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👤︎ u/WhatProtomolecule
📅︎ Mar 15 2021
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

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👤︎ u/saiyyanwarrior
📅︎ Feb 24 2021
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Why did the scandinavian runner leave the race early?

He couldn't finnish.

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👤︎ u/swanky_wanker69
📅︎ Feb 28 2021
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True Story. I went to pick up a couple of Italian Beef sandwiches curbside last night and as the runner approached with my order, the sandwiches broke through the gravy soaked paper bag and fell to the ground. She was extremely apologetic and said she would re-bag them for us. But I was livid!

I mean, I did not pay for ground beef.

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👤︎ u/casimir1978
📅︎ Jan 25 2021
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Why did the distance runner buy a new pair of shoes?

It would be helpful in the long run.

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👤︎ u/ryxnisfy
📅︎ Dec 29 2020
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What do runners eat the day before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

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👤︎ u/expired_lemonade
📅︎ Sep 11 2020
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"What can you offer this restaraunt as the new food runner?"

"Well, I bring a lot to the table for starters.

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👤︎ u/iwrestledmeonce
📅︎ Feb 02 2020
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How did the speed runner beat the world record on hair stylist simulator?

He took a shortcut.

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👤︎ u/BinaryPeach
📅︎ Jul 04 2020
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My dad recieved a phone call from the magazine "Runner's World"

women on the phone asks:

  • "is (mother) home?"
  • dad: "no, she just ran off"
  • women: "oh, ok"

I dont think she got it.

edit: This is actually funnier how he said it in dutch (our native language). his words were "ze heeft ze benen genomen" which literally means " she has taken the legs".

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👤︎ u/fireflaai
📅︎ Mar 11 2015
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Did you hear about the injured runner who got last place in the competition?

I guess he was a sore loser.

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👤︎ u/ToonyCream
📅︎ Dec 02 2018
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Why are Catholics the best runners during the Easter season?

They fast during Lent!

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 03 2019
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What happened to the runner who had his feet reattached?

He was undefeeted.

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👤︎ u/vanilla_almond
📅︎ Jul 17 2018
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Nearing the finish line, a marathon runner was so driven to win, that even when he pooped his pants, he continued on. When asked what he felt at that crucial moment, he replied...

"Undeterred" / "Undie turd"

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👤︎ u/p_noid
📅︎ Mar 12 2019
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The baseball commissioner's new rule on runners attempting to steal second seems wrong

It's just way off base

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Nov 25 2018
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What do you call the runners up award at an astronomy competition?

A Constellation prize

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👤︎ u/killerflyingsquirrel
📅︎ Dec 23 2014
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The sexiest people tend to be runners.

In fact, they're quite attracktive.

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👤︎ u/4DimensionalToilet
📅︎ Oct 20 2017
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At work in a restaurant, the food runner dropped a to-go container for an order

So I said "You butternut squash it!"

And they still wouldn't send me home

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👤︎ u/trent_pee
📅︎ Sep 03 2016
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[daily jumble] After his heart surgery, the marathon runner was happy to once again be a...

...pace-maker

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👤︎ u/bbbbirdistheword
📅︎ Apr 24 2014
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Figured I'd share the Dad joke I told to my fellow runners while running an endurance course.

I ran a local Tough Mudder-like race in September (called Boldr Dash) which featured many obstacles over a four mile course. One of the obstacles was a huge ladder made out of tires that we had to climb up and over. While waiting my turn to climb it, I turned to the line and said "I hope nobody's TIRED!"

The combination of fatigue and disgust at my joke was everyone's reaction. A group groan, it was beautiful!

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👤︎ u/RealSteele
📅︎ Nov 04 2014
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 03 2019
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 10 2019
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 05 2019
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A runner had to pick up the pace

It fell on him

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👤︎ u/K_Al-Shaya
📅︎ Dec 11 2018
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