Funny how in the past everyone owned horses and only the rich owned cars, and now everyone has cars and only the rich have horses...
My how the stables have turned.
Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!
Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.
“Noah walked out onto the ark and saw....”
Why did only one letter of the alphabet get a Christmas present?
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.
Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'
The only dad joke I know. My friend asked me to post it. :-)
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
The only gift I got for Christmas was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with this.
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
The Norse god of mischief only had private birthday parties.
He kept things pretty low key.
Yall make fun of dad jokes. But they are the only sfw jokes around.
Seriously the workplace is becoming dangerous. One wrong joke and your HR dpt will hate you. Dad jokes are innocuous, very safe.
The only thing I have planned for today is to get my new glasses.
Then I'll see what happens.
What are the only jokes you can make in quarantine?
There is only one you in the whole world...
I went to the zoo today and they only had one dog.
The only people to show up to my friend’s funeral were some of his one night stands and some friends from church.
Why was the king only 12 inches tall?
.. because he was a ruler
What would happen to all of us if the zombie virus only affected redheads?
In other news...the Seven Dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of six.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
....
It was a shitzu.
EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)
I was surprised that the only gift I got for my birthday was a bucket of Play-Doh.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language
The flag is not the only reason to move to Switzerland
Did you know about the group where only Trump supporters were allowed?
The others are forbiden.
Credit to u/i_like_it_eilat
My wife asked me if she's the only one I've been with.
I said yes. The others were all nines and tens.
All the letters of the alphabet walk into a bar. Why does only one of them get a drink?
Because the bartender keeps saying, “Can I get U anything?”
Why was the Monarch only one foot tall?
What is the only American State that has ever been married?
When singing Christmas carols, why does C3P0 only sing about the 2nd, 4th, 6th, 8th, 10th, and 12th days of Christmas?
Because Han Solo told C3P0 to never tell him the odds!
Due to all the COVID restrictions this year, a maximum of only 6 of the 7 dwarves could meet up
None of them were Happy :-(
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
There are only two types of people in the world:
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
A husband and wife were at a marriage counselor. The wife complained, "he only talks about Star Wars! I've had it. I'm leaving him!" The counselor turned to the husband: "well?"
The husband looked at his wife and said, "divorce is strong with this one."
Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome
Theyre calling it "Son-Block"
Who was the only celebrity with four body parts in his name?
It’s only the second day of Hanukkah, and my wife already ate all of the chocolate in the house...
Back when I worked at a different brewery, one of the brewers only had one leg.
She was in charge of the hops.
Do you know why the French only eat one egg for breakfast?
Because one egg is un oeuf
Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?
He didn't have a lot of common cents.
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
I spelled out the first part of a symphony using only AEIOU
I call it the vowel movement.
Why am I the only one naked?
They said it was a gender reveal party?
I went to visit my friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I found was in the C section.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
The only way to kill a French vampire is to slowly drive a baguette through its heart.
The process is a little painstaking.
What's the only country where it rains sheep?
I went to the zoo the other day but the only animal there was a dog.
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
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