If you sin 90 times, you'll only get caught 50% of times,
Because sin 90 = cot 45.
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?
IHOP
What do you drink if you are only a little thirsty in Minneapolis?
A Mini-soda!
What would happen to all of us if the zombie virus only affected redheads?
Ginger-bite-us
My wife asked me if she's the only one I've been with.
I said yes. The others were all nines and tens.
If I only learned one thing from my book of cliche’s it was
I (read) I
If you have something urgent to say to your magician friend who you can only communicate with via mail...
You better use a Penn & Teller
They're only called gargoyles if they collect and spout rain water.
They should be called... gargles.
On Saturday, my son confronted me about why I spend time with him on only 1 day of the week, but I spend time with his sister every other day. I told him that I would take him to the movies tomorrow, and he asked if it was 'just because he asked'.
I told him, 'no, because it's Son Day'.
A communist joke is only funny if everyone gets it
I would only kill a clown if my family was about to starve to death.
We either digest the clown, or we die jesting!
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
My wife said she's only interested in having sex if I dress like The Fonz.
She's ayyyyy sexual.
A woman asked her husband if she was the only one he’d ever been with.
He replied “Yes, the others were all nines or tens”.
If you see transformers flying around, not only do you see robots in disguise, you see...
robots in da skies.
If you are ever working on being more decisive and find yourself wanting to get a tuba, a trombone, and a round-bottomed dish - but you can only afford two of them and the dish will fit under your shirt - just remember:
Take the bowl, buy the horns .
A communism joke is only good if everyone gets it
If you only ever do things because you "should" you're on aught-o pilot
SLPT: If your priest or bishop is molesting your children, tell them to run away in a straight line as priests and bishops can only move diagonally. /r/ShittyLifeProTips/comm…
Dyslexic boy asks his mother for a mcdonald’s, she goes only if you can spell it, he then says okay mum I’ll have a kcf
If I had a Delorean, I would probably only drive it from time to time.
I asked my nephew how old his dad was and he replied "six". I said "how can he only be six if you're six"?
He said "because he's only been a dad since I was born"
Credit: u/Alphawolf227
I asked my wife if I’m the only one she’s been with.
She said, “Yes, the other ones were at least sevens or eights”.
It’s only a dad joke if it’s from the D’Adjoque region of France. Otherwise it’s just a bad pun.
The only way to understand these is if you had read the Percy Jackson books
This pun will make sense only if you’ve seen Endgame
Mathematically, if you commit 90 sins, you only get caught half the time.
sin 90 = cot 45
You'll only get this if you know the Arabic Alphabet's letters.
My girlfriend said she'd only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession.
I can't wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures
Me: Can I leave work early? Boss: Only if you make up the time.
Me: Ok, 45 past 60.
Boss: You’re fired.
Math teacher: If you're a family of 5 and your mom only has 3 potatoes, how would she feed everyone?
Johnny: She'll mash them.
If girls with big boobs work at The Hooters, where do the girls with only one leg work?
IHOP
Where is the best place to work if you only have one leg?
IHOP
I asked my wife if I’m the only one she had ever slept with.
She said “Yes.... all the other guys were nines or tens”
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with.
She said “yes, the others were at least eights or nines”
