I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
Math test failure again..if only I had 50¢ for every one I failed.
I'd have €14.20 now..
Just a reminder that it's only "Star Wars Day" if....
...you have a lisp.
If you commit 90 sins, you will only get caught half the time.
Because sin90 = cot45.
If you sin 90 times, you'll only get caught 50% of times,
Because sin 90 = cot 45.
The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?
IHOP
What do you drink if you are only a little thirsty in Minneapolis?
A Mini-soda!
What would happen to all of us if the zombie virus only affected redheads?
Ginger-bite-us
If you have something urgent to say to your magician friend who you can only communicate with via mail...
You better use a Penn & Teller
They're only called gargoyles if they collect and spout rain water.
They should be called... gargles.
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
A communist joke is only funny if everyone gets it
On Saturday, my son confronted me about why I spend time with him on only 1 day of the week, but I spend time with his sister every other day. I told him that I would take him to the movies tomorrow, and he asked if it was 'just because he asked'.
I told him, 'no, because it's Son Day'.
I would only kill a clown if my family was about to starve to death.
We either digest the clown, or we die jesting!
My wife said she's only interested in having sex if I dress like The Fonz.
She's ayyyyy sexual.
If you see transformers flying around, not only do you see robots in disguise, you see...
robots in da skies.
If you are ever working on being more decisive and find yourself wanting to get a tuba, a trombone, and a round-bottomed dish - but you can only afford two of them and the dish will fit under your shirt - just remember:
Take the bowl, buy the horns .
If I had a Delorean, I would probably only drive it from time to time.
A communism joke is only good if everyone gets it
I asked my wife if I’m the only one she’s been with.
She said, “Yes, the other ones were at least sevens or eights”.
SLPT: If your priest or bishop is molesting your children, tell them to run away in a straight line as priests and bishops can only move diagonally. /r/ShittyLifeProTips/comm…
If you only ever do things because you "should" you're on aught-o pilot
Dyslexic boy asks his mother for a mcdonald’s, she goes only if you can spell it, he then says okay mum I’ll have a kcf
I asked my nephew how old his dad was and he replied "six". I said "how can he only be six if you're six"?
He said "because he's only been a dad since I was born"
Credit: u/Alphawolf227
It’s only a dad joke if it’s from the D’Adjoque region of France. Otherwise it’s just a bad pun.
The only way to understand these is if you had read the Percy Jackson books
This pun will make sense only if you’ve seen Endgame
My girlfriend said she'd only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession.
I can't wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!
You'll only get this if you know the Arabic Alphabet's letters.
I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
My wife asked me if she's the only one I've been with.
I said yes. The others were all nines and tens.
If girls with big boobs work at The Hooters, where do the girls with only one leg work?
IHOP
A woman asked her husband if she was the only one he’d ever been with.
He replied “Yes, the others were all nines or tens”.
Where is the best place to work if you only have one leg?
IHOP
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
I asked my wife if I’m the only one she had ever slept with.
She said “Yes.... all the other guys were nines or tens”
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
Mathematically, if you commit 90 sins, you only get caught half the time.
sin 90 = cot 45
