Static X Puns

...but not anymore! I'm ex-static!

I bought a T-Shirt the other day but it kept giving me static electric shocks every time I tried to wear it.

I took it back to the store and they kindly replaced it with another one free of charge.

She's not very e-static about it.

Ex-static to see me she was!

Ex-static

Isn't that egg-static?

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

Needless to say, I'm ex-static.

My Fiancé was heading to bed while I was wrapping up some work. As she leans in to kiss me good night a static shock jumped from her lips to mine.

Without missing a beat I say, "I always knew there was a spark between us."

I blame all of you for making me think this way.

My friend got a static shock, and in the span of 5 minutes I rattled off these:

• Geez, that's shocking news.

• How are you current-ly feeling?

• Don't give me that look. I'm just trying to energize you.

• Looks like I gotta amp up my jokes.

• I'm gonna hit you with a battery of jokes until you laugh.

• Don't let your sense of humor be so static.

• This isn't a crime, you can't charge me with anything.

• Wire you so upset?

• Do you want me to plug the stream of jokes?

She keeps getting statically shocked. So I told her she should work for a train company since she is such a great conductor.

When she removed the nozzle from the vehicle I guess some static electricity created a spark and started a fire near her gas cap. She tried to put it out, but her sleeve caught on fire. She started running around the store parking lot with her arm on fire. The cops showed up and arrested her for waiving a firearm in public.

The scene where Max is grabbed by the Pole Cat,

http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/mad-max-fury-road-image-the-war-rig.jpg

and ends up getting dumped onto the car with the drums and guitar guy

http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-620/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/3/31/1427821675682/5e25da37-61d7-44fd-a9a3-b2f5b8b5a791-620x372.jpeg

I leaned over to my GF and said "It looks like he's jumped onto... the bandwagon" She totally lost it :)

It makes them ex-static

When I was about 5/6 I was filling out one of those "FunFax" books (Image for reference).

I started filling out the page about me and I got to the section on allergies. Unaware that I had any, I asked my dad "Do I have any allergies?"

My Dad replied "Yeah, soap"

Obviously at the age of 5/6 I didn't realise he was joking, we found the book a few years later to find I actually wrote "Soap" down.

http://static.lowensign.com/vcImages/items/600/TS-W3-1A_30X40.875.jpg

A head! where!?

"hey guys did you know that bridges generate static electricity? When we get over the center of the bridge touch the window"

We all touch the windows even though we have no idea where he is going.

"do you feel it? Do you feel the pane?"

My husband has a bad back and ended up in the ER today from the pain. I came to get him and was wheeling him down the hallway when I stepped on a metal floor divider. I got a nasty static shock on my foot and hand pushing the wheelchair from completing the circuit.

My husband says "oh! I didn't know you were that in to music"

Me: ".......?"

Him: "You're such a great conductor!"

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-11/enhanced/webdr05/19/15/enhanced-buzz-11118-1384891457-13.jpg

I always tell her the awesome jokes that I find here and other places. She rolls her eyes ninety percent of the time, as one would expect.

Well the other day I was going up an escalator and got zapped by static electricity-

Me: Ouch!

Her: Aww, it must be because you're such an electri-cutie

I was so proud, it nearly brought a tear to my eye.

Gave her a kiss and our lips got zapped from static. "I guess there's still sparks between us"

Que groan....

After I sat down on a comfy couch in the common room at college, and because of the material and weather, I was charged with static. So naturally when our lips got close, a huge bolt of static jumped between us. Laughter ensues and she says, "there's some sparks between us!"

On our way to Connecticut, my s/o and I saw this sign.

I couldn't help myself.

 

I laughed about it again 4 hours later.

     

         

I told three other people about it the next day.

Today in statics class, statics being studying things assuming there is no motion:

"[Teacher's Name] Do you ever feel like your life isn't going anywhere?"

Needless to say, I'm ex-static.

Needless to say, I'm ex-static...