How do libraries help keep the books warm?

They give them book jackets!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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A man walks into the library and asks, "Do you have any books on poor eyesight."

"NO, We don't!!!" replies the barman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I went to the Med school library to get a book on abdominal pain

Someone had already ripped the appendix out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naj_md
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I asked the library women of there are any books on the Titanic

She said they might have been damaged, wet and moldy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Two books meet in a Library. One says ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..

... Just had my Appendix removed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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I went to the library looking for a book about Pavlov’s dog and SchrΓΆdinger’s cat

The librarian said it rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/colemacgrath2009
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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How do you find the right book in a library that was caught in a flood?

Using the mildewey decimal system!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BootsyBootsyBoom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...

... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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I went into the library and asked for a book on turtles.

The lady said, "hardback?" I replied, "yes, with little wrinkled heads"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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A guy goes into a library and asks about books on premature ejaculation. The librarian tells him the book is checked out til next week.

The guy comes in the next day looking for the books again but quickly apologizes. Sorry I came early.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark503
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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I went to the library to find books about delivering babies...

The librarian told me they were in the C-section.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pidderz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.

"It's not our fault" said the librarian,

"That's the one" I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic...

"Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.

"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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We were at the library when my mate asked "Hey, could I borrow your book mark?"

I got mad and walked out. After 3 years of being college flatmates, he doesn't even know my name is Tom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeepenTeepen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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I went to the library to get a book about soil

but they only have one copy, and it was already out on loam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nsolarz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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Did you hear about the guy that robbed the library for every book they had? When questioned on how he did it he told authorities he basically talked the librarian into letting him. So i guess you could say he got a way with words.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninjahands1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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I went to the library to get the new book about tiny penises

Librarian said 'I don't think it's in yet'

I said 'that's the one'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkeye2604
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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Sure, a library is the place to find a lot of books to read from

But it's the tallest buildings that have the most stories

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majike03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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I got a lot of book smarts in the library...

...after a whole shelf of them fell on my head

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book β€œHow to Hug” from the library.

Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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I went to the library and picked up a book about...

Glue. I couldn't put it down.

any others?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone4011s
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2015
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At the library special collections desk, Dad needed to sign out for a rare book...

...and he had to use one of those pens on a chain. But he was standing too far away from its anchor and the chain didn't reach the signout form.

He looked up at the librarian and said,

> Do you have a pen with a longer chain?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kempff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
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I asked the librarian if there were any books about paranoia in the library

She whispered , "They're right behind you..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.

Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Two books meet up in a Library. One says, ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..

.. just had my Appendix removed.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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I went to the library for a book about paranoia!

The librarian said "It's right behind you!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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