What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off?
When the photon left its family behind,
I accidentally left some AA batteries in my pocket when I put them in the wash
That's what I call clean energy
What did the Buffalo say to his son as he left for work ?
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
What did the drunk say to his buddies as he left the bar?
AL-CO-HOL you later!!
(Stole this from a show dont come for me)
I left my Ribeyes in the elevator...
The steaks have never been higher
I left my vampire killing kit in the elevator...
The stakes have never been higher
I used to know a mushroom named Gus who was a blast to hang out with. That changed the day his girlfriend left him.
She said she preferred 2 fun-guy over one fun-Gus.
My girlfriend and I just had a fight. She has locked herself in the bathroom for an hour and still hasn't left.
Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
When the original drummer of the Beatles left the band...
My Wife is freaking out about this coronavirus. She made me promise I'd put the mask on before I left for work this morning......
Now I’m two hours late and I don’t even like Jim Carey
A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.
The Warden said "he's a little condescending"
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
Did you guys hear about the guy in that horrible car accident? Lost his left leg and left arm
Don’t worry, he’s all right now.
i turned left on the wrong street while driving...
too late i found the error of my waze.
I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. “You need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,” I told her. “Do you mow the whole yard in one direction.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because that’s what makes it beautiful.”
Oh, the eye roll on this kid.
What did the right side of my head say to the left?
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.
hey did you hear about the guy who cut off the left half of his body??
A man takes his seat at a football world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.
MAN: "Who would ever miss the world cup final?"
GUY: "That was my wifes seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."
MAN: "That's terrible, but couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?"
GUY: "No...They are all at her Funeral!"
I left my bread dough in the oven too long and I think I burnt it...
I left my job at the Chinese restaurant and took my favourite frying pan, until I heard the owner yell...
"Don’t wok away from me!"
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
The baby sheep got out of their pen and I impulsively grabbed a sheep with my right hand and a sheep with my left...
I guess I'm just lambidextrous...
I'll show y'all to the door.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
I was driving to a weekend hunting trip when I came to a fork in the road. Sign said bear left...
When typing a word-play joke, I never put extra spaces on the left.
Have you heard about the guy who lost all his left side (of his body)?
Well, he’s all right now.
Hey did you here about the guy who got his left hand cut off?
Yeah I hear he's all Right.
I left my wife standing at the altar
She said she wanted the wedding to go off without a hitch
Got the left side of my body cut off.
I'm pretty far on the left politically but I'm not involved in any activism
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
What did the car salesman say when he left the party?
Unfortunately, my wife left me recently because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face...
(Adapted from a youtube comment)
Wife asked why I left a ladder in the bedroom.
I told her it was to help me get up in the morning.
The doctor gave me 10 years left to live.
I killed him and the judge gave me 60!
What did the buffalo say when his boy left?
What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy as he left for school?
Did you hear about the guy who’s left side was cut off?
Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off?
Oh, he’s all right now...
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